READ BEFORE YOU ANSWER::8 months ago I started dating a beautiful & intelligent woman whom I fell hard for.2weeks ago my g/friend(Kate) & I went home & striaght to my bedroom & locked the door.In the Mist of our love-making my Son spoke "Dad I can't open the door".Kate jump off & quickly covered us.I pulled myself together & let him out.
Firstly I was not expecting my son home Bc my wife was to pick him up 2 hrs ealier.Secondly the babysitter was home & she should ve known my son's whereabouts.Apparently my son fell asleep under my bed & we locked him in.
He told my "ex-wife to be"what he saw? She telling my Son to call Kate(whose black) a "N"
We been separated for 2 yrs(our divorce will be final in 3 months,it has taken long to divorce bcos we coundn't agree on how to divide our assets).I don't ve any feelings for my wife(EX-wife to be)at all.The reason she's still in my life is bcos we share a bond;our son.She slept with the landscaper&bought him stuff with my money.
2007-09-29 05:04:34 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My wife(ex-wife to be) is calling me all sorts of names..
The One things that is making me mad is that my wife is teaching my SOn to judge people based on color.
My son knows kate quite well BUt after that incedent and coming back from his mother's house..One even he called Kate by saying the "N" word.
When I aske d where he heard it from..he stated "mommy says that kate's other Name"..
Can I use this against her in court so i can have full custody of my son...
This is also causing tension between Kate and I. I'm afriad I'm going to lose kate to the trash my wife is doing?
Your advice
2007-09-29 05:08:34 · update #1
People BEAR IN MIND that my wife and I have been Separated for 2 years. I file for divorce because she cheated.
I came to find out she married me for what she could get...
2007-09-29 05:09:53 · update #2
what is it that ur lookin for now?sm1 to say what u your not wrong?? first thing you should do is not bring yourself to the public with your personal matters, be adults , to the matters theres nothing wrong with you with with seprating with your wife if she cheated on you , and its totaly racist and smwht jealous (no feelings just jealous) for her to do that , just have a talk with your son saying you were playing a game for big ppl and didnt know he was sleeping and u disturbed him or something its too early for him to learn about the birds and bees , next time dont be nonchalant and assume about where your child is , always make sure u know.
2007-09-29 05:13:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Why DON"T People on YAHOO ANSWERS read the whole thing before they answer..
The question even stated"read before you answer" but some just answer without comprehending what they are responding too..
The man is separated and was not expecting his son home. The babysitter needs to be fired or at least warned for not knowing where the child was.
You on the other hand should have asked the babysitter if his mother had picked your son up like you were expecting.This way you could have known she was late and asked where your son was before going to attend to your g/friend.
You can bring your girlfriend home and have s.ex with her at your house. You are separated and it's your house.
You seem like a good man that repsects and loves your son..You did not do anything wrong..it just that things went wrong..
You also need to teach your son not to use racist word or any bad words. Tell him why he can't word as that.Teach him about accepting people with her difference
About the courts I do not know because I do not have a child..But it sounds like you can show the courts that she is a bad influnece on your son.Even if it's not illegal to be racist I think can see that, what your wife is teaching your son will ot benefit him in the future.
Good Luck and hold on to your woman..Your wife probabaly still loves you and wants you back but she is going about it the wrong way.
2007-09-29 12:17:11 · answer #2 · answered by Na 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
My opinion? The first and most important thing in your life right now should be your son and you should have checked on his well-being when you got home. For you to skip this step, I think, is poor parenting on your part.
Second, didn't you check-in with the baby-sitter when you got home?
Third, you need to think about how you will sit down with your son and explain to him that N is a naughty word and not to use it and why (at his level).
And last, you must find a way to answer any questions he may have reguarding what he heard or saw you and your gf doing. I can't recommend what to say, each parent has to do it whatever way works for their comfort. If you can, get together with your ex for a serious talk on how the two of you can raise your son in a peaceful and understanding way that he doesn't have to be involved in any retaliation you two have against each other. Don't ruin the life of a good innocent child. Nobody is perfect, but you have to concentrate more on him than your new gf to be fair to him.
2007-09-29 12:16:45 · answer #3 · answered by onecharliecat 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is a mess. You can teach your son not to be a racist, but this is going to be a tough sell. Children don't have adult understanding about how difficult relationships are, and they will blame a parent for causing a divorce, something almost no child wants to happen. Like it or not, you are now the bad guy. Regaining your son's love is going to be hard and will take time. You may need to (legally) take him on a long trip with you so he can see your good side.
As for the racial issue with divorce court, I don't think it will matter at all. It's not illegal to be a racist, and your ex was provoked. Good luck with this one.
2007-09-29 12:15:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best thing to do is sit your son down and explain in simple terms about what he saw. Explain that you love Kate and that what you were doing was just for adults when they are very much in love. Next talk to him about the "n" word. Let him know that it hurts Kate's feelings and that its not an appropriate word to use. Don't bash his mom but let him know it was wrong of his mommy to say it and that he shouldn't ever use it again. The focus should be on teaching your son right and wrong and ensuring he understands everything that happened.
2007-09-29 12:13:51 · answer #5 · answered by lovelylady 5 · 4⤊ 1⤋
It doesn't matter if you were separated when you met Kate. You should not have started a new relationship while you were still married. Because you have been found out, your wife can use this against you in court.
I'm more concerned about your son than I am about you, Kate and his Mom. You and his Mom are doing some serious damage to your son because of yours and your wife's selfishness. Your son may not quite understand right now what is going on, but he will eventually. Believe me, when he is a grown man, he will probably do the same thing to his wife because his Daddy did it to his Mommy and it must be ok. Like Father like son. *Edit: It's called the Generational Curse.
2007-09-29 12:16:14 · answer #6 · answered by janetrmi 5 · 1⤊ 4⤋
First of all, please excuse the people on here who didn't bother to read your question in it's entirety.
I would definitely talk to your lawyer and explain what your soon to be ex has taught your son. This issue should be brought up during the custody discussions since it shows her lack of concern for her son. The only feelings she was considering when she did this were her own, not the welfare of her son. She is obviously the type who is more than willing to use him against you, which shows her lack of concern for him.
2007-09-29 13:12:21 · answer #7 · answered by ophirhodji 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is too weird that he was under the bed! My only suggestion is check on your son and make sure he sleeping in his own bed before you lock your bedroom door.
Your wife teaching your son to call people names regardless of what word they are using is horrible. It jus so happens she picked the worst word and it's also teaching him to discriminate. You need to step in and undo the damage before he goes to school or uses that word in public.
2007-09-29 12:14:31 · answer #8 · answered by k1zzar 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Your Son fell asleep under the bed...that funny..
About the rest..I think you have one jealous wife that wants you back...It's killing to know you are loving a black woman..
Just Rememeber your son comes first....
2007-09-29 13:01:11 · answer #9 · answered by ME 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, since she is still your sons mom, if u two get into a really rough relastionship it would be hard on your son. i know women can be kinda... well you know. being a girl myself i'd advise to wait for her to kinda cool down first. try to explain it out but if she starts getting mad again, back down, wait for her to finish yelling at you and continue. let her vent her anger, it's easiest that way and it'll make her feel better. Be really cool about the whole thing.
*secret weapon*
bring your son into this. it was horribly wrong for her to tell her son to call her that. No little child should learn words like that. point out that working this out will make you both feel better and be heathier for you son.
OVER ALL, DONT LOOSE YOU HEAD AND LET HER VENT HER ANGER WITH OUT GETTING UPSET!!
2007-09-29 12:16:33 · answer #10 · answered by Why Fear the Dark? 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋