Ok my brother in law moved in with my husband and me 5 months ago-well my husband and I have since split up, but my brother in law is still living with me and we kinda have a relationship going. I won't tell his family cause I don't want them thinking that he is the reason his brother and I split-which he's not(his brother was verbally abusive-ignored me and his 2 kids and I had enough). The brother in law does things with me AND the kids and says he loves me and doesn't care what other people think. Am I crazy to pursue this ?? Does it sound like I just "traded up"??
2007-09-29 04:49:49 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Wow! Talk about a pickle! This could really split the family up. They will all think the reason you two split up was because of the bro in law and my be considered a "cheater" in the family.
2007-09-29 04:57:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well. I definately don't think that you can help who you fall in love with. Therefore, I don't blame you for feeling the way you feel- However, maybe you two should keep it quiet for a little while longer until things settle down. I mean, do you think that if your ex found out, that he'd maybe come after yall? I mean, your ex-husband's brother is pretty much playing daddy with HIS kids. That's a line that shouldn't be crossed with some people. I know that if my fiancee and I were to split up, I would kill him if he let another woman play the mommy role. It's disrespectful. I think maybe he needs to get his own place, and yall still see eachother. But this way, things can cool down cause it sounds like yall are getting serious, REALLY fast... and SOMEONES going to catch on.
And honestly, you need to think about your children. Their daddy just moved out and your already letting another man somewhat take his place. It's kind of selfish. If you're a good mother, you'll do the right thing. This is about the children that you and your ex created together and formed a life with.. and I understand your ex wasn't a great husband, but your mentally messing with these kids and confusing them. I mean 5 months ago, this guy was their uncle and now he's STILL living with you and turning into DADDY. And trust me, no matter what age... kids know what's going on and they catch on quick.
2007-09-29 04:57:31 · answer #2 · answered by anonymous 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a good Springer episode. No, seriously, don't do it. How do you think it'll sound when your kids say that you're in a relationship with their uncle? Not good, and his whole family will hate you and probably disown your brother in-law, oops I meant to say "man your having an affair with". Technically you're still married right? It doesn't sound like you "traded up" it sounds like you're a traitor. Sorry. Like other people said, theres alot of other people out there willing to do all those things that you want, without the headache of your current situation. And how do you think this will all look in front of the judge during your divorce? I'll be surprised if you get anything, kids included.
2007-09-29 05:35:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm getting it...you'll extremely only provide her the chilly shoulder, top? it is an emotional reaction. except an section resources project, the earrings are beside the point at this element. no longer sufficient information? How lengthy married? childrens? Why r u divorcing? are you able to try this amicably, or will you employ a lawyer? careful, responsible communique isn't a foul element, yet do not placed something in writing. i does no longer withhold suggestion regarding coverage. A choose might want to have a dim view of such habit and it might want to value you later. interior the end, in all probability an entire disclosure will be required besides. in case you're extreme about a divorce, get the filing papers interior the works now. This i does no longer percentage with her becasue you do not favor to enable her beat you to the punch. better serving than to be served. this is probable on your earnings to administration the technique. you'll have your lawyer and ideas on technique. She'll have restricted time to reply and may want to might want to scramble. Harsh, yet it is divorce.
2016-10-20 03:59:14 · answer #4 · answered by nedeau 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is crazy but I am going thru the same situation. I also have two kids and have falling in love with my brother in law. My reason for not pursuing the relationship was because of my two kids, but one night my sons came to me and told me that he was my boyfriend. They still call him uncle and call me mom and they are fully aware of who their father is. My in-laws do not talk to me anymore, but they call my brother in law here and there. At first I was ashame of my feelings and didnt think it was normal for me to fall in love with my husband's brother but I did and I cant turn away. I guess that is when a man fall in love with another man or vesa versa. My husband cheated on me numerous times and had three other kids within our marriage, so my brother in law was there to help me pick up the pieces of my life. My husband does not call my kids nor take care of them, so the only man they see is their Uncle. So the only thing I can say to you like everyone tell me is to be careful and follow your heart! It is no one business what you do in your house.
2007-10-01 08:15:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Oy..
That`s a hornets nest you landed yourself into.
If you want to pursue this (as is your right to do) you may need to be prepared for:
* accusations against you and your brother-in-law that you both are to blame for the break up.
* fighting for childrens custody
* Total and completely being cut from his family for your brother-in-law.
And possibly more things.
Personally , i wouldn`t do it.
But, if you two REALLY love one another, you can make it through the storm that will hit you when your 'thing' becomes public.
Unless you can talk to his family, explain what happened, and then ask if they`d mind if you dated brother-in-law.
Sometimes people might surprise you.
Best of luck, whatever you decide.
2007-09-29 05:07:45 · answer #6 · answered by U_S_S_Enterprise 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Totally crazy. You could tare up an entire family (his and your childrens). There are many fish in the sea. Remain good friends with him but don't start a real intimate relationship. How are your kids going to feel? "hi guys this is my Uncle/dad???" a little awkward don't you think?
2007-09-29 04:54:41 · answer #7 · answered by lovelylady 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Crazy.
2007-09-29 04:55:20 · answer #8 · answered by S K 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
just ask your heart,if this feeling is love?as far as i know love is also sacrifice!don't ask what your husband give you,but think,if you are right by doing this.it's something that you should ask yourself ok!thanks
2007-09-29 06:16:00 · answer #9 · answered by sansheo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
any relationships with other family members is a big no-no.. you are setting yourself up for being blamed for a whole bunch of drama.....
2007-09-29 04:56:21 · answer #10 · answered by shelly v 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋