Dead beat dad with numerous chances but fails?I have a six year old daughter that is my whole life. I am marr

Question

ied to a wonderful man who takes complete responcibility for her and loves her the way her father should. We have only been married a year in October. Any how, her biological father will not pay his child support, spend anytime with her and only calls her because his mother reminds him to. I don't care about the money. between my husband and I we make 125k a year. She is our only child so she is well taken care of. The issue is he will not sign off his rights and the court is not really helping.

In June of this year, I peteioned the court to show cause as to why he was not paying. He owed 12k and would not keep a job. He wouldn't talk to her or see her on his weekend. His mother did and does still but he won't . Any how, after the 1st court hearing he whinned to his mother and she gave me crap saying "why are you persuing this" and " why do you need his money when you ahve a husband" and " you are taking all his money". So I did away with the owed child support but he

still won't pay. I told him in the court room that if he didn't want the responcibility of having a child to sign her over and let my husband adopt her. he won't because his mom won't let him. He moved away becasue he says he can't find a job here and he doesn't want me to know where he is( like I care because my daughter will NOT visit him until I know where he is). We have had two more court dates and they told him if you don't pay then you are going to jail. They have told him this twice. Well, we have out fourth hearing Wed.the 3rd. On the last hearing they told him to pay 150$ every two weeks. If he did he wouldn't have to show. He hasn't paid. So here we go again. I keep wondering what they are going to do this time. I called the people and asked them what was going on. They said they were fed up with him basicly and we have given him benefit of the doubt but he just takes advantage of it. What can I say in court on Wed. that will make a difference. I really do

not need or want his money. My daughter doesn't really know him or want to. I have never told him he couldn't see her. His mother sees her when ever she ask usually unless my daughter has plans. Her dad never calls to ask for her or anything. What does he want if he doesn't even try to have a relationship with his daughter? I am at whits end. There has to be an end to this soon. Either he takes responcibility for her in every way or he steps out. We live in Michigan. Any advice would be great. I only want what is best for my daughter. I have even given him money to take her to a movie and out to dinner. I can't do this anymore.

Justme- I know, everyone has told me that about the back support. I just thought, stupid me, that if this was off his shoulders he would have more time and more resources to do things with her. Again, I gave him another chance. Seriously, this is what I have done for the past five years. My husband and I have an account for her for college and such that has more than that amount because I have been putting a little in it since she was born. It can't be touched until she has graduated from High School. I always try to keep the peace for her and work with him and his family. But it never seems to work. i tried talking to his mom about it but she says he will change and step up. Sure when his daughter is grown up and doesn't even know who he is because of his absence.

I think this needs to be legal because..... he is always on a power trip. Like he came into town totally unexpectedly a few weeks ago. My daughter goes to school, has friends, play dates and such that are planned around his mom's visitation. Sometimes I get advance request from her but not often. His mom doesn't tell me if he is here or not because he ask her not to. So he just drops by out of the blue and demands his daughter right then and there. My daughter gets so upset because he is mean to her. I have witnessed it. One time she was there for a weekend and she had called me so I called her back. He answers the phone and yells at her to come to the phone she's in trouble that her grandmother wants to talk to her. She came to the phone crying. I told him not to ever do that again. When she sees him that is what he does all the time. She hates going there. I have to make her go. Last night they were going to get her, they called me at 10pm and said they weren't coming

they told me to have her ready at 9am. Well, I have to work and so does my husband. I am tired of their demands. I taught my daughter how to sign her name is cursive. Just her first name. Her grandmother told me not to do that because it will confuse her. I am sorry but my kid is smart and has been writiing her name in cursive for a year. She reads ona third grade level and has high math scores. They are not even involved in her schooling at all. I am so frustrated. Tired of getting rediculed and harped on for teaching my daughter new things and doing things with her like ice cream at MC.D's. I try to do everything right by her and her sperm donor gets the easy street. Sorry, this has built up and now it's over flowing.

I do all the talking on here for advice. He does all the talking to them. He goes to court with me every time. Tells the judge all that happens. I was a single mom for four years of her life, worked two jobs and tried to go to school. They wanted me to pay them to watch her. Seriously, I have check book copies to prove it. They never tried to help. They just seemed to make it more difficult. Her dad didn't even pay support then. I decided that if I was going to pay some one to watch her while I worked it wouldn't be a man who was her father that owed her money. I sometimes had to pay his mom to watch. We asked her to help take her to school in the mornings when she is in private school. She had her for 45 minutes three mornings a week. We had to pay her a 100$ a week.

Answer 1

Your 1st mistake was letting him go with the owed.That was owed to your daughter.You should have kept on the courts about it.Keep trying to get him to sign off if he dont want anything to do with her anyways and your new hubby can adopt her.

Answer 2

You made a mistake. I would have held up the back child support as a lever of you sign giving up rights and Child support ends. Stop trying to be the nice one.If the moron doesn't want to see her and she has a loving step Dad. Then move on. You really want to make his life miserable. Sell the child support bill to a collections agency. Or tell him you will do so and then offer him the deal to sign off. Tewll him. He signs..He never sees you again but be prepared to bombard him with court apearances etc..It may take some work but play the pain in the b&** on this. You will get what you want or he will do something stupid and go to jail. Just report every single thing he does wrong.
Single Dad 3 kids no support from ex no contact from ex..I consider it a good deal

Answer 3

Let me see if I understand this. You have full custody of your daughter. You have a family income of 125 thousand dollars per year. You have a new husband who doesn't abuse you and takes complete responsibility for you daughter and loves her. I can see why your "question" was so long. It's very complicated isn't it? I don't think I can offer any productive advice. Perhaps some single moms working 80 hours a week at minimum wage could help you with this. Then again, they can't really afford a computer and the internet service. Another bad break for you I suppose. I do have one question though. If your husband wants to adopt, why are you doing all of the talking?

Answer 4

Hi hon.. first thing you could do is stop letting the bio father and his family run your emotions... the grandmother is simply protecting her "golden son" and she is probably in denial about his refusal to see the child. It's not uncommon for a mother to do this, even if the son is a mature adult... so i guess just grasp this, realize she's acting a little goofy when it comes to her son and move on... letting it bug you is only upsetting you. and there is nothing you can do to control her behavior, so just let it go.

the grandmother is probably very unaware that it's the law to pay child support... you can tell her this a thousand times, but she will hear only what she wants to...

i'm glad you have a wonderful man now, and a good marriage. that is what you could focus on.

we all have those annoying people in our lives, and if we focus on other, more important and pleasant things in our lives, we are better off.

take care.

Answer 5

If you wanted him to sign over his rights, forgiving his child support just gave away your bargaining chip. You could have used that.
If he won't do it, he won't do it. I'm not sure why. Maybe he doesn't want to look bad in his mothers eyes. Maybe talk to her about it. Reassuring her that she will always be her grandmother, but that signing over his rights is the best thing he can do for everyone. Then he won't have to worry about child support anymore, or have any guilt for not being around, and she still gets to see her and be in her life, nothing will change as far as that goes, he just won't be legally responsible anymore.
That's the only thing I can think of. He seems to look to his mom for advice, so maybe if you can get her into your corner, and show her you aren't trying to hurt him, but do what is right by her granddaughter, she will help convince him.

Answer 6

Sadly, your daughter's Dad, is only human in the biological sense, not the social sense. Why? Nobody can know. Some people never become civilized adults. They remain spoiled children for their entire lives. You can deny this, pretend it isn't true, and continue making excuses for his failings; or you can accept that he isn't ever going to be a "dad". He is the father, but only biologically. Sooooo, what do you do? Well, many will disagree, but in my opinion, it's time to STOP. Stop trying to include this BOY in her life. Stop kissing his mother's foot to keep peace. Cut off ALL visitation until and unless he shows, by his actions, that he wants to be a dad. As long as his mother continues to choose sonny boy over her grandchild- let her do without visitation too. Accept NOTHING except actual action- PAYING support. Not promises, not threats, not whining. MONEY. Your daughter is better off not knowing a guy so low that he'd deliberately choose to not support her. Don't bother dealing with the mother. When she and sonny decide to act like adult relatives- THEN you may treat them differently. But, until then, treat them as they behave. As subhuman, immature cheap, spoiled scum.

Answer 7

Ask the judge what needs to happen in order for your husband to be able to adopt her. I don't think child support hearing will cause that. I think you have to file a petition to have his rights revoked. Please bear in mind, unless he gives his rights up willingly, it probably won't happen unless there's serious chronic abuse. I think the bigger issue is the fact that she has a great stepdad that loves her and she lives in a stable home with him and you. Do you really need to legalize their relationship to make it valid?

Answer 8

Do you want your new Husband to Adopt your Daughter? If so as you know he has to wave all his parents rights away.But What about the Granmother ,don;t leave her in the cold ,let her still see her Granddaughter from time to time.

Answer 9

i think of you're definitely precise on your assumptions. in case you do enable her pass in along with her dad she possibly would be headed lower back living house in short order till she exhibits the west coast too eye-catching to enable pass. it incredibly is a few thing that occurs with diverse youngsters. precise now she would be in a position to locate CA and the Left coast an extremely complicated place to be through recession. as long as she is secure along with her dad she could desire to be ok in the quick run. specific attempt to talk her out of it. Even refuse to enable her pass. In different words you are the parent and you have the final say! enable them to easily attempt to take you to courtroom if that's what they desire to do. keep loving your daughter no count what, she is in basic terms slightly at a loss for words. What toddler does not desire to get to be attentive to their organic and organic parent, despite if as thus he has been a deadbeat, he continues to be her dad.