Honestly, its the story of my life! I'm not sure if I'm imagining it but I've had loads of guys after me since I started dating years ago. Some even proposed to me but I was not in love with them. Then there have been a few that I was crazy in love with but they were less into me and therefore I didn't get them. I'm now 40+ so I'm really beginning to think its like some sort of cruel destiny! What is going on? Someone please please help me to understand what appears to be a 'curse' on my love life
2007-09-29 01:33:11 · 24 answers · asked by must see 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Give the nice guys a chance
2007-09-29 01:36:28 · answer #1 · answered by Hahaha! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your working from the wrong direction!!! "Soul-Mates" don't exist in the world, the way you are thinking they do. I was married to my Wife 10-12 years before I found that she was MY Soul-mate, the "One and Only".. "He or She" will come along when the time is right, but if you don't know what you are looking for, you'll miss them altogether.
Most people, male or Female, are too busy with "Careers" or "Whatever, or finding someone that is "Socio-econimcally" consistant with them. Try relaxing and being approachable. to begin with. I don't understand why this area is so confusing to everyone?? "I went to this site or that site. I just couldn't find anyone that I liked." This isn't a place where you can see all the available models on display for you, and then you just pick one. I think that dating sites are stupid and dangerous, plus they don't offer every make and model either. There are alot of guys that are just as busy and maybe even unwilling to be a "Model" awaiting someone to pick them.
You say you have had "Proposals", but "You weren't interested in them". You quite possibly could have passed your "Soul-mate" already, who knows.
Stop looking for a "Soul-mate" and begin looking for the ONE that trills and speaks to your Heart. In time you will KNOW whether He is your "Soul-mate" or not. Kind of like saying, "Don't put the Horse before the wagon".
2007-09-29 09:10:22 · answer #2 · answered by dontwobears@sbcglobal.net 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some people go throughout life and never meet a soul mate.
I have to say it happened to my mother. I know it's unfortunate but it's true. I know it's not ideal and I know how you feel, believe me I still haven't found it either. But I keep the faith.
You are 40+ but you are still young, honestly you are. My sisters did not actually start having the time of their lives until they turned 40. And they've met their soul mates after that age. So there is still a chance. I hope everything goes well with you. X
2007-09-29 16:33:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are no soul mates. Your expectations have been too high. People have differences and no two are alike. Start looking for some one who has similar interests, values and plans for the future. You won't ever find the perfect person, because they don't exist on this planet. You haven't seen any halos lately have you? My suggestion is to date a long time and ask a lot of questions, observe them in social settings, find out how they treat people, what their political views are, their spiritual views, do they abuse drugs and alcohol or not, are they controlling, or do they want a partner in life? Find out as much as possible before committing to them in marriage.
Love is a choice.
2007-09-29 15:25:02 · answer #4 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel, but you just need to give a relationship time.
There is no such thing as a perfect Woman or Man. I do not know what you are looking for but give each person you meet a fair chance and enjoy life.
If you want to chat i am available. The next week maybe hard to connect because of some traveling.
2007-09-29 10:26:02 · answer #5 · answered by will_955 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think there is a "curse" on your love life. Maybe you are way to picky on making a choice. See, if you are waiting to find the person who is exactly perfect in every area that you look for in a guy, then you will be a lonely person all the days of your life. Seriously, think about this and then the next guy who shows interest in you, give it awhile and give the guy a chance to come shining through. None of us are perfect. We all have faults and some faults can be lived with and dealt with. (smile)
2007-09-29 08:56:56 · answer #6 · answered by Fergy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband came after I swore off men all together. I had been in an 11 year relationship, left him to get involved with someone who was doing drugs (I didn't know when we started dating). After those two "failures", I was ready to give up. And I did.
I've been married for 5 years this month and have two cute kids.
For me, the key was to stop thinking about a marriage/soulmate/boyfriend/fill in the blank.....and start looking for a friend. When I first met my husband I told him to not get an ideas. He asked me to kiss me after a couple years of friendship and I said no. It took 3 years for me to warm up to dating him. I NEVER would have seen him as dating material (or husband for that matter) but for a friend he was awesome. I guess being married to my best friend trumps sould mate for me.......or does that make him my soul mate???
Relax and stop looking. Enjoy life. If it's meant to be, it will. Chin up and good luck.
2007-09-29 08:49:00 · answer #7 · answered by Wendy B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I thought I'd met mine twelve years ago and today found out some things I did not want to know, life really is a *****, you have your independence though, which is good, they only strip it away, I woke up today and realised I wasted a hell of a lot of time, I wish you all the best but be careful watch you wish for because it can turn into a nightmare, big hug heading your way, God knows I could do with one x
2007-09-29 08:45:02 · answer #8 · answered by Casey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am way younger than you, but have the same problem. Sooo glad I'm not the only one! I have made a conscious decision to start giving the men I am less into a fair chance. Sometimes love only comes after a while. I also keep telling myself that I do not deserve anyone who does not return the feeling. If I am hectically into a guy who does not pay enough attention to me, I keep on repeating to myself: "we are just friends". It is a frame of mind. Good luck, hope it helps!
2007-09-29 08:41:45 · answer #9 · answered by krisi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe in soul mates or the notion that there's one person and only one person who's right for each of us.
Maybe the "curse" on your love life is that you're being too fussy or demanding. If, for instance, you are only interested in men who are extremely handsome (I'm making this up and have no idea what traits you value, of course), then you'd better be able to offer a quality that extremely handsome men find equally valuable in a woman. I would guess that would be wealth.
If what you offer is being kind, accepting others for who they are, willingness to support yourself, social graces, making the best of the looks nature gave you, yada-yada-yada, there are a great many men seeking you or someone like you. Find them.
However, if you expect a man with money, looks, willingness to support you, tolerance of your bad habits, acceptance of your wanting to change him, you're unlikely to find him.
2007-09-29 08:44:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, maybe you're giving up too fast on men you think are not your type. What do you think 'being in love is'.......How much time have you given each one of those relationships. Love doesn't jump at you right away, sometimes it slowly grows on you after 3 months, 6 months or 1 year sharing time with a person.
2007-09-29 08:43:32 · answer #11 · answered by Jane Marple 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋