can you trust your spouse after he's been unfaithful at work?

Question

we are trying to work on rlationship, but i still hear reports that he hasn't stoppped seeing this girl. I know it's not fair of me to ask him to change jobs, but its getting pretty hard to take. He doesn,t see the problem im faced with everyday. can i trust again?

Answer 1

No!

Answer 2

I've heard you can forgive the person, however, trust is a different thing. Some people also consider trust taking care of the responsibilities at home and putting up a good front up around other people and some consider it being an all around spouse (i.e.best friend, confidante, etc.).

You have to remember that some people can live with this because their views on the issue are different. If you can't get past this whether he changes jobs or not, well then you know the alternative. Prepare yourself.

Answer 3

first let me say if you don't have trust you and he will never be happy with each other. because you will always have that doubt in the back of your mind and will always be questioning what he's doing and your mind will always be wondering if he's late or if he goes on a trip whats going on. If you intend on continuing to live together you have to learn to trust again. That's a hard thing to do, you will always have that
doubt. Find out first hand if he is continuing the relationship with the other woman. If so, LEAVE HIM!!!!

Answer 4

do you know if it was just sex between them? or were feelings involved? if theres one thing that i've learned there is a big difference in making love and having sex. what he did was wrong no two ways about it. but I'm old enough to have been married twice. 13years first time so far 14 this time i got 5 kids 7 grand kids. both wife's have been unfaithful. both had alcohol involved but no feelings. you two need to talk and listen. but you two need to do both not one or the other. it dosent work any other way. if you both can do that you two will probably end up apart and scared. but if you talk and listen you might just find out that it can be better than it ever was. good luck kiddo.

Answer 5

depends on the extent of the unfaithfulness, and if its happened before or if its a pattern of behavior with him, of course he is not going to understand your hurt, because he wasn't the one hurt. he is insensitive to your pain, makes light of a very serious thing. chances are if he does not understand what he did to u than u won't be able to trust him in the future. if u are getting information opposite of what he is telling u i would take it seriously and be prepared for it. until u feel safe u will not be able to trust him again, especially when people are telling u that he hasn't stopped seeing her, do the people who are telling u this have anything to gain? i would insist he change jobs, but in reality it won't help the situation, if he wants to cheat he will cheat no matter where he works or lives. once a mate has cheated it is almost impossible to get over the feelings u have about it, and almost impossible to trust ever again, as the damage has been done and can't be undone. he seems to not be taking any of it seriously if u are getting reports from others. as these others would really have no reason to lie to u.

Answer 6

changing jobs wont matter because if he wants to see this girl he will find a way once the trust is gone thats it id say as hard as it is leave him u deserve better thats no way to live torturing yourself wondering every moment if hes with her or if the reports you hear are true good luck

Answer 7

If you are hearing such reports, consider this: watch what he does, not so much what he says. His actions will speak volumes. Changing jobs isn't going to change the man. But it can take some of the sting out of the situation. There is a price to pay for decisions you make and changing jobs may be just this. He should end all contact with this other woman and should respect your feelings regarding this.

Answer 8

You're not going to ever trust him again. If he gets a new job, you still aren't going to trust him. The only thing that can help your relationship is God and marriage counseling. As long as you're with him, you're going to be miserable. You need to walk for a minute (leave him). Most men don't change once they get caught. They change for a month or two and then their back at it again.

Answer 9

Not enough information.The real thing is can you be trusted . Are you going to smash he ever time you get mad at him about this. You do l know that it takes three to make this type of problemm. You, him the other. You look at your self and see what you may have done to cause the problem. Talk to him lesion, I know a lot of woman that do not do there job as a wife and a man goes out and finds some one to fill the void. I hope your good in bed. Propel not that is what makes most men stray. You proble do not even talk to him. Well I hope youtwo can get on track.

Answer 10

Of course you can't. And you shouldn't. Why are you still with him anyway? From where I'm standing, you (as in you and him) are not trying to work on the relationship at all. It looks to me like he's doing whatever the heck he pleases (including banging his little piece on the side at work) and you're expected to accept that without complaint. If he was sorry about what he did and serious about saving the marriage, he would have changed jobs already. You wouldn't even have to ask him.

Answer 11

It is indeed a tough question.Answer your question: No anymore.you can forgive,but trust again is a different story.