Responsible parenting about to be a thing of the past-or am I just over-reacting & draconian?

Question

So, children of 13 to be allowed to decide their own medical treatment regardless of the parents wishes.

So Mums & Dads prepare for your offspring to be on the pill, having abortions, and generally refusing treatment if they don't want it with the laws blessing!

Do you think it's a good thing or is this the liberal brigade going from the sublime to the ridiculous?

lisa425lisa I'm all for teens taking on responsibility (in the right quarters) it's the fact that the parents WON'T be part of the decision making process that concerns me.

DEB123, lol, at least you're honest!

Barbie, I see your point and of course you're correct about the competency but I just feel very wary about the refusal of treatment issues-are we now looking at having to section a 13yr old who's anorexic before we can help her because legally she's classed as competent?

I just don't get the logic-can't buy cigarettes, alchohol or knives, vote, get married or LEGALLY have sex (we should have mandatory rape laws in my opinion, but I digress...) but they can legally have an EMA with no-one being any the wiser???

Answer 1

You are reacting the way any responsible, caring parent would react to this news. It is MADNESS to let 13 year old CHILDREN make decisions regarding something as important as their health. It just makes the divide between parents and their children wider and removes any possibility of parents being able to help their children through an awkward age, encouraging secrecy and deceit instead of promoting unity and honesty.

Answer 2

What does it matter? Most children are going to listen to their mother or father because they look up to them. The only difference I can see is that a child can't be forced to have an abortion which is a good thing.

Edit:

"I think it's pretty scary. Some 13 years old may be a little more mature than others but 13 is 13! They know what they want (What they think they want) Are under pressure from their peer group and advertising. At that age they do know to say no if and sadly not always to right person and often for the wrong reason. as in! Show mum ad dad they're growing up and will make their own mind up."

When I was thirteen I didn't think like the majority of the population. I got along far better with people way older than me. I'm twenty two and I still don't think like the majority of the population, which I find rather funny. Peer pressure has never affected me, I'm assuming its my morals and also because I think for myself.

Answer 3

I think it's pretty scary. Some 13 years old may be a little more mature than others but 13 is 13! They know what they want (What they think they want) Are under pressure from their peer group and advertising. At that age they do know to say no if and sadly not always to right person and often for the wrong reason. as in! Show mum ad dad they're growing up and will make their own mind up.

What next? Will 13 years old be deemed responsible enough to join the army full time, vote, leave mum and dad and set up home?

The liberal brigade wins again and i sometimes wonder ... Do these people have children themselves? And what kind of an upbringing have they given them? I wonder!

Answer 4

I agree with storm but would like to add that it does not matter what the law says about this, how YOU bring YOUR children up will be key to this. If you have an open and honest relationship with your child with clear boundaries that you are the adult in the realtionship, this kind of issue will seldom arise.

It will be very useful for the children storm speaks of, those who cannot speak to their parents or need to have treatment that is against their parents religion - think of Jeovah Witness' for example, it is a child's right not to follow the religion of their parents - of course this is difficult for professionals such as Dr's and Social Workers for example to manage but legislation like this will help.

Proper parenting in still the key here, if your child is secure, loved and well looked after, they would not need to go behind your back for medical treatment.

Regarding your statement about the pill and abortions, 13 year olds can already get these services without parental consent. Family Planning staff need to assess what was known as 'Gillick Competency' before providing a service and would always explore with the child why they cannot discuss this with a parent or other responsible adult close to them and encourage them wherever possible to do so.

The new legislation will not change this,

edit

A 13 year old would be sectioned in any case if she was so desperately ill that she required medical attention and was refusing, parents cannot force a 13 year old into hospital, in that case sectioning is traumatic but very necessary I'm afraid.

edit

I don't know where spencer is living but the age of criminal responsibility in the UK is 10

Answer 5

From what I understand doctors will counsel this age group to speak to their parents.

Actually I think this is a good move and is protecting the rights of children. Lets face it, many kids CANNOT tell parents whats going on with them. Its sad but true. Ok so a 13 year old could have an abortion without parental consent, which is tragic, but think of the kids who if forced to tell parents, are marched off for an abortion without their having had any part in the decision making process.

Yes a 13 very young but i do believe this is an age where children can make decisions about their own health and bodies.

As a mum, of course i would prefer to know if my son is having underage sex. However it his right not to tell me. And just like I wouldnt read his diary, I understand that he has the right to privacy. Fortunately we have a great relationship and does tell me everything.

Plus surely speaking to a doctor regarding contraception is a mature thing to do. Of course abstinence is the ideal and should be promoted to children, but living in the real world it does happen and we need to be realistic.

Answer 6

I would not have a problem with my child choosing abortion, but would want HER to tell me so I could support her.
Some girls are not so lucky to be able to talk to their mothers, or know their mothers are against abortion. The law has to address the young woman's right to choose the option for her intended future. Not the parents.
If a young girl of 14 wants uni and a career, then I think the law is right to allow abortions, pill to girls without parental consent.
It would be nice if all mothers could offer support, once the initial shock has passed, alas some mothers cant.

Answer 7

On a personal level I think the problems will escalate letting them decide what medical treatment they can have even if it goes against the parents wishes. Already the figures are up for under age pregnancies, what will it be like if this happens Children giving birth to children!

Answer 8

will this cut down teenage pregnancies, how many screwed up adults will be out there in the future due to abortions with no family support. Abortion is a traumatic time for anyone, with a lot of women regretting it, how is a young girl going to feel when she is discharged from hospital but can not tell her family.

As parents we are responsible for our children says the law regarding crime and underage drinking, the parents get the fine, is this going to change too, making teenagers responsible for crime and drinking too, doubt it, who would pay the fines then

Answer 9

This is totally ridiculous and potentially very dangerous! 13 year olds are NOT adults, if they were then they could vote, live on their own and have a full time paid job! Our local news showed a report the other day where kids in schools are no longer allowed to wash up incase they stab themselves, slip on water spilt etc. The fact it is deemed dangerous for kids to play conkers now!!!! It seems to go from one extreme to the other! I say its time to let kids go back to being kids like they were when I was young and let adults be adults!

Answer 10

I think I would rather my child went to a doctor and asked for contraception, than had an unwanted pregnancy. However, I agree with you - I took my daughter to the doctgor recently and went into the room with her. It was quite clear the doctor regarded me as superflous, and I had to assert myself. My daughter didn't have the confidence and the knowledge to ask the questions relating to her condition and would have walked out of there, without the information she needed.
So I am uncomfortable with this. Kids are kids.
And are the doctors prepared to be sued if a child dies because they have taken medication incorrectly, or some such?