Why do people with relatively normal backgrounds tell people who have past trauma to forget the past, then...?

Question

they proceed to talk about their pasts at will, never taking into consideration that it inadvertently makes you compare yours in your mind?

I didn't mean that I wished to talk about my past. I was merely pointing out the hypocrisy of the people in question- this was not necessarily asked with the intentions you all seem to be assuming that I had.

Answer 1

I agree with you. Once in awhile what is happening to me cause me to growl at others.

Answer 2

It is on the case to case basis,normally people who encounter/experiencing trauma are mentally,emotionally, and physically disturb. They are trying to seclude themselves from the crowd,and sometimes they become hostile, so it depends upon the gravity of their trauma.
Remember, the past experience whether good or bad that part of any ones background of our life.Through those experiences it can possibly help and resolve the problem. Tracing the real cause of problem/happening for a better future, and look more positively.
And mind you my friend there is no such normal background in life.

Answer 3

Some people feel very differently about life's traumas. Everyone has traumas of course, but their responses to it can be soo different. I worked in an online child loss grief forum and saw that first hand.

Generally, when people come across someone who has had a real trauma, they tend to want to change the subject because they are uncomfortable talking about the trauma and they don't really feel they know what to say.

People generally mean well. But communicating about serious things is often difficult for them.

Answer 4

Dahlink, what is normal? Nothing is normal. If you have endured emotional and/or physical trauma in your past, there are a lot of folks who will listen to you. They are called psychologists, psychiatrists, counselors, sociopaths and drunks. Comparison is about as useless a dynamic as criticism. If you want to have a pity party, invite all the folks you know who exhibit excessive overt rescue tendencies to attend. (Oh my, now that would be an interesting event to record, DVD). Then y'all can sit around and and pat each others hands, hug each other, wipe the tears from each others cheeks, and eat all that hi-fat snack food. Trauma, dang we all have trauma, get over it. Use it as a tool to become a better person.

Answer 5

Sometime they try to take you mind off your past by talking about theirs. They really don't understand what we go through as they talk on about it. The only thing I have done to make myself feel better is not to hold the trauma to close to my heart and deal with it by focusing in on how well I have done at present. It is the now that is the most important thing because your future will be based on what you do now, the past we can change from the learning we did from it.

Answer 6

1. They just can't relate to it because it hasn't happened to them.
2. They can't bear to hear it as they don't know what to say or what to do about it to help.
3. Most people are totally selfish & don't understand the need for acknowledgement and listening is part of the healing process.
4. If they were part of the trauma they don't want to take any responsibility the hurt they caused.

Answer 7

I understood you but I think this isn't so much a question as a problem you have. You can't expect people to understand what has happened to you and some people are just too shallow to care. I would stop looking for answers to what is wrong with everyone else and start caring for yourself try to take time away from people and find what it is your really crave.

Answer 8

thats impossable to forget the past... its like telling people to stop thinking about the future... if ur past isn't that great and very depressing then just remember that everything happens for a reason. i know this is proubly the last thing you want to hear but people need to accept the past. its okay to thing about the past every once and a while but don't tred on it. dont let the past rule your life. think about the future and don't stop thinking about it! but people who do what your taling about are just plain inconsiderate. or forgetfull... so if they start talking to you about their past then say please don't talk about th past... and hope they understand. oh and think happy thoughts!

Answer 9

People deny your experience because then they can pretend that whatever trauma happened to you can never happen to them. Makes them feel safe. Have courage my friend, do an Internet search for emotional freedom technique (EFT) it can help overcome trauma :-)

Answer 10

Because its the past, History....

as the saying goes...

One foot in yesterday, One foot in Tomorrow...

and your pissing all over today!

When people piss all over today with yesterday, the only defense is to validate yesterday and try to move on to today...but some people just dont get it... the spend all of todays and tomorrows.... dwelling on yesterdays....