Ex wife is a real pain in my ***!! I do everything for him!!!When she call's he alway's I say acting scared of her, but nomatter what he always takes her side!!She called the other day saying her little girl needed shoe's but we had just gotten her a new pair but what does he say" he say's ok we will go get her a new pair tomorrow", like a little baby!!!She call's everyday knowing he's asleep through the day,works at night, just to ask for brake's for her car an yes she get's plenty child support from him!!!Can I say or do something to make him stand up to her???Really tired of the mess!!!!
2007-09-27 20:05:21 · 11 answers · asked by ajjsdj4ever 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She actually had the affair!! I wasn't around until way later!That' why they divorced!!We have 2 children together an I feel his doing things child support pays for is putting a strain on our finances!!My own car needs brakes but they aren't fixed!!Her's are!!!
2007-09-27 20:24:42 · update #1
Yes you can say something. The key is how you say it. If you ***** to him, he won't listen... get your points together, put them all out... let him listen and respond. At least he will know where you stand and if it gets worse it won't be the first time he's heard from you.
Now remember no matter what happens this woman will be in your life forever... his daughter is his most important thing and from here on out its important to make sure you remember that when he is defending his ex, a lot of times he is defending his daughter as well.
2007-09-27 20:11:00 · answer #1 · answered by Brian W 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well I feel for you because I am married, but we have no ex's to worry about. I know that you are frustrated and you should talk to your husband about the limits of how many times she can call in a day and how late at night, but if you try to come between him and his other family I guarantee you will lose. Hey you married a man with a daughter from an old flame comes with the package. He is only trying to give his kid nice things and make sure his child can be driven around safely with good brakes. If (God Forbid) his child was involved in a car wreck because of bad breaks and he had the money to fix them, but didn't then he would feel awful. If you want to stay married and happy then you have to pick and choose your battles. It may seem like he is giving his ex a lot of attention, but he is probably only in it for the child...that's why he is married to you and not her. Hang in there!!! :)
2007-09-27 20:18:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
This happens in divorces that were never really resolved emotionally. My husband and I have been counseling couples for over 25 years and your situation is very common.
You and your husband need to meet with an objective third party and try to work through this. You will not be able to fix it by yourself.
For some reason he still feels like he is married to his ex, and as such is still responsible for her. It's my guess his guilt is part of it. Did the two of you have an affair while he was married to her?
2007-09-27 20:17:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like she hasn't let him go. You can either find her a new husband, or you can sit your husband down and have a long talk with him. Tell him you feel like there are three people in your relationship, and that you feel like you're always coming in third. Be up front and give him specific examples. Maybe she's using their little girl as a tool to control your husband. If she is, you really need to make him aware of it.
2007-09-27 20:10:38 · answer #4 · answered by lordmisrule2004 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This woman is going to hold the child over his head until he stops falling for it. You might as well be the floor, because she is going to be tap dancing on you nerves until your husband wakes up and sees what she is doing. It is all about the child, I promise. For some reason they think that if they don't do what the ex wants, the child will suffer the consequences, and some women use it to the max!!
2007-09-27 20:12:12 · answer #5 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What is she trying to hold against him to make him jump thru those hoops?
He is married to you now, and yes, I can see the safety factor for brakes-for both cars.
She is the mother of his children, please sit down with him, and talk one on one. asap. Find ot what is oging on in his head. And his heart. I'm sure he loves you, but cares very much for his children.
If need be, consider counsleing, for both of you, or at least for yourself to handle this. Take care.
2007-09-27 21:09:49 · answer #6 · answered by SAK 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
try it the other way around, think he is feeling guilty for the wife. So try to go with his decision every time for a week and tell me what happen! They call it reverse psychology!!
2007-09-27 20:10:35 · answer #7 · answered by Simon G 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Makes me wonder how much of a walkover you are. He can't stand up to her but walks over you?
2007-09-27 20:30:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take possession of the phone and answer it at your own convenience. Tell your man you don't need anyone standing up for you, you fight your own battles.
2007-09-27 20:51:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell him you are tired of playing second fiddle, if he don't put you first then he can have her all the time. so there
2007-09-27 20:08:51 · answer #10 · answered by Don D 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋