How can i make my boyfriend's dad stop controlling his relationship with me and get my guy to stand up to him?

Question

I have been dating a guy for almost two years. we're both in college - he commutes and i live in a dorm a half hour away. everything was great until his dad said that i am "manipulative" and im using him. then he insisted my boyfriend only come see me every two or three weeks. my guy feels like he cant disobey his father, but hes 19 (a legal adult!) and he should be able to make his own relationship decisions. it might have been okay had his dad a good reason, but he just doesnt want him to see me. i want to either figure out a way to get his dad to back off OR make my boyfriend stand up to his dad without having to choose between me and his father. im really upset about this, ive never been away from my boyfriend for more than a week at a time, and when we are both done with school we might be at the point where we want to get married. i cant have his dad constantly telling him what to do, especially when he is already old enough to be responsible for himself. what should i do?

Answer 1

First off I would want to know why his dad thought you was manipulative and using him? I think i would be wanting to have a sit down with his dad and have a nice friendly discussion.

Your poor boyfriend is caught in the middle and he wants to make both you and his dad happy.

Apparently he still lives with his Dad? So he needs to go by his dads rules. I admit his dad shouldn't be telling him who he can see and who he cant.

Dont try to get between him and his dad, instead try to work things out with his dad. Go visit him and let him see what kind of person you are and let him know that you care about his son.

Good Luck, faith

Answer 2

The fact that he lives under his dad's roof, and his dad supports him financially, he is not old enough to be responsible for others including yourself.
So his dad has every right to advise him, whst he thinks best for him. Most probably his dad wants him to focus on his education and not going into relationship at this point in time. In the same manner you should also be focusing on studies right now.
Once you are done with your education, and you come out to the world and can earn your KEEP. Only then you can say that you are independent and can be responsible for others as well.
For now, it is best that you hear his dad advise and try not put him in a difficult position, if you are really thinking on his behalf..

take care