I have been married for 3yrs to my wonderful wife. I love her with all my heart, but we have been having trouble with our sex life. I have always been willing to give her head all the time, but she doesn't do it for me. She says that she doesn't want to because she doesn't like it and even though I love head...I complain that since I do it why can't she? I don't want to be controling and force her to do something that she doesn't want to do, but I want oral sex to spice up our marriage. I love her and respect her and don't want her doing things that she feels is degrading. I just want both of us to be happy with our sex lives. I have heard a rumor from one of her friends that she went to a strip club and after a night of partying gave the male stripper some head. I don't believe everything I hear, but still I can forgive the cheating...I just can't forgive the fact that she is giving someone else head instead of me. P.S. I cheated on her once, confesed and went to marriage counseling.
2007-09-27 18:30:49 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We are doing well in all other aspects of our relationship. I have regained the trust by working with the counselor and therapist. She says she forgave me so I can forgive her for the stripper thing if she really did it. I know that there is more to love than just sex, but I still want to deal with this issue.
2007-09-27 18:33:48 · update #1
I give her head when I eat her out!! Texasm.....duuuhh
2007-09-27 18:36:23 · update #2
Her best friend told me who is also my second cousin. They went to the club in ATL my cousin would have no reason to lie and I am not trying to justify anything...two wrongs don't make a right.
2007-09-27 18:40:42 · update #3
PLEASE READ WHOLE STORY^^^^^^
Dont just read part of it and start typing.
2007-09-27 18:49:14 · update #4
Stop going down on her for awhile, but you need to understand that this different for a guy doing it and for a woman doing it. Guys like it, some women like it, but most are uneasy. Respect her boundaries. Don't complain when she does it, don't shove on her head. She will do what she can do. Please don't beg her to or try to make her swallow anything she doesn't want to. It may not be that she doesn't want to, it may be that she can't without puking. That's nothing personal, its just a fact. She may not want to tell you that because it she doesn't want to make you feel bad or embarrass herself. She may do it just for your pleasure but many women hate it because it doesn't make them feel the same closeness. Men are more turned on in general by making their partners turned on. Women need to feel an emotional connection. (This is just in general and not in all cases)
PS...If your are cheating on each other, oral can't be the only thing making that happen. Look inside yourself and ask her to do the same. Commitment is more that one sexual favor.
2007-09-27 18:42:44 · answer #1 · answered by del d 2 · 7⤊ 5⤋
hmm... I think maybe 'texasm' needs to learn alittle more about what "giving head" implies... what do you think?
Of course you don't feel that sex is the most important thing in your marriage, but it's good that you want to do something about it because statistics say that the 3 top reasons that marriages/relationships don't work out is; money, sex and religion.
But I agree with the first comment. You do it for her, it's only fair that she does it for you. I'm sure she enjoys it, but she should be doing it for you too. Right now she doesn't have too because you're eating her out and she doesn't have to give anything in return. So stop doing it and I bet she'll start doing it for you. That's how I am, I won't give head unless they go down on me too. I think it's only fair. Trust me, if she likes it as much as I'm sure she does, than she will do whatever it takes to have you start doing it agian if you make her go without it long enough!
2007-09-27 18:42:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 0⤋
You have been married to her fot three years, did you just assume she would change? I have in the past.
If getting head is important to you, god knows it is to me, you should have been sure of this aspect of your love life BEFORE you got married, the answer is not cheating, it is either therapy or divorce now. Speak with your wife and try to find out why she hates it, it could be something that can be resolved,through therapy, or even a hygiene issue
(you may need to ensure you wash thoroughly before entering bed, or get some flavouring). There are many variables, but first you need to understand why, to see if you can resolve it. Secondly I am concerned by the fact you have already cheated and possibly her also. This issue is serious and cheating is NOT a solution, it can only lead to heartbreak and divorce. You need to explore this issue without playing the blame card and see what can be done to save your relationship.
2007-09-27 18:53:47 · answer #3 · answered by Rational Thought 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Well tell her, that u r her husband, tell her to be honest with u , why dont she want to give u head, maybe she dont like ur organ?? did u ask that.
maybe she is nervous, talk to her, tell her 2 trust u , u will lay and wont move , ask her 2 try it and whenever she feel to stop she can, LET her on top , let her in control , dance for her like that stripper, make her horny and seduce her,tell her u wont *** in her mouth if she is scared of that. beg her to do even for once if she want to never try it , well just accept it and find new ways to fill ur sexual life ( Toys , roleplays, outside sex, teasing , controlling and dominating , all u and her like )
HEY:
Knowing that u and her cheat on each other is really not that good to do, but if u know that she cheat on u and u do that too, i guess u both need another partners.
2007-09-27 18:41:30 · answer #4 · answered by michael 4 · 3⤊ 2⤋
I am his wife and I am on a business trip...I can't believe you are blowing up our sex life all over the Internet. First of all why should I have to when I don't like it. Yes I love it when you go down on me, but folks shouldn't be telling you to stop doing something you love. It is a scientific fact that a vagina cleans itself and it much cleaner than a man's penis. Second of all it was just a strip club and wasn't meant to hurt you....I love you and we will talk about this when I get home. We have to stick together as a couple we both messed up, but we have remained faithful since then which both things happened a 1yr ago. I love you and will call you soon!!!
2007-09-27 19:00:35 · answer #5 · answered by Muslimah S 3 · 4⤊ 8⤋
It's time to take her shopping, sweetie. Stop rolling your eyes at me and listen up. I'm old enough to be your lover, er, I mean mother, and I mean business here. You are taking her to somewhere like Adam & Eve's or The Lion's Den. She is going to be totally embarrassed and you are gonna act like that's where you used to go BEFORE you ever met her. These places have wonderfully flavored edible lubricants, body flavors, etc. If you watch her out of the corner of her eye, you will see her curiousity at some other playthings. Indulge her this one time. I don't care if you have to skip the rent this month. Something tells me that the two of you may enjoy a lesbian movie together. I know you will, and she may learn something without you thinking that she didn't already know it. Tell her she's beautiful like you used to, BTW.
2007-09-27 18:44:29 · answer #6 · answered by Chiksita 4 · 5⤊ 2⤋
Have you brought this up with you consular or are you bringing it up on here hoping we'd agree with you?
Not everyone is the same, your lucky she's still having sex with you. What are you going to do when you both get older and she say's "were all done" The hormones have changed and, so has she, then what? are you going to kick her out or, are you going to leave? think about it.
In the meantime, get over it, your still getting sex with her, enjoy it.
2007-09-28 00:05:13 · answer #7 · answered by cowboydoc 7 · 1⤊ 4⤋
the wisest course of action is to bring it up in therapy. seriously.
that way...
1) its out in the open between you
2) there is a moderator present in case things got out of hand
3) perhaps this therapist can help you directly or recommend a sex therapist.
good luck to you both.
2007-09-27 18:43:36 · answer #8 · answered by deleted 5 · 5⤊ 1⤋
personally, oral sex is not about if you like doing it or not, its more about caring and wanting to please your partner, that is where the satisfaction comes from. and you shouldn;t be going down on her just in the hopes that she will reciprocrate. if someone had a problem going down on me, i would think twice about going down on them, cause i believe it goes beyond the physical, there might be some feelings that need to be resolved.
2007-09-27 18:50:54 · answer #9 · answered by ssexibeast25 1 · 4⤊ 1⤋
maybe she doesn't want to give you the satisfaction, just ask her properly is it becoz of what she did, couldbe sth psychological....if u do help her get over her fear...you'd never now what'll happen next
2007-09-27 18:36:51 · answer #10 · answered by Juls.fj 1 · 7⤊ 0⤋