Polygamy good or bad?

Question

Looking for others who are polygamist or are interested to discuss pros and cons about this lifestyle.

I have been married to my husband for two years now, been together four. Never did either of us think he would ever fall inlove with another woman. Yet three months ago, it happend. I was at first very upset and hurt, and I guess I still am. The fact he didnt tell me before he had decided to do something was the worst part of it all. I have since accepted what has been happening. and cant really bring myself to leave him. I see he does love this woman, but also loves me at the same time.
We have been discussing the possibility of the three of us moving in together, and bringing our families under one roof, alot because we see no point in having to spend the money to go the 60 miles back and forth to see eachother.
I would like to find others who are also interested or in this type of relationship to give me some feedback on how life is, and if its worth it. Thank you.

Answer 1

Your husband chose to pursue a relationship with this other woman. It doesn't happen by "chance" that's just an excuse.

Any relationship between consenting adults should be fine but if you're not comfortable with the situation then you need to stand up for yourself or move on.

I'm curious what your husband would think if you became involved with another man.

Best of luck to you!

Answer 2

I find it amazing that you are willing to put up with this - not every woman is capable of being this understanding.

You might want to check on a google search for "poly families"

I did some research on it when I was writing, and I've found that there are some pluses and minuses about a poly relationship.
1) In the US only the first marriage is recognized legally.
2) Because of #1, the husband typically must keep his second marriage a secret. How do you explain about the kids to someone else? (especially if the father has kids by more than one wife.
3) While the advantages include sharing housework, and one wife can be a stay at home mom while the other works, it has to be agreed upon by everyone involved.
4) Drawbacks include jealousy between wives (who gets to sleep with the husband)
5) How does the husband share himself so neither feels slighted.
6) How will you feel about the additional expenses involved with 2 families under one roof. For example, his pension plan?

While you are willing to accept this, how will you feel later on.

Please think and really pray about this before committing to this relationship. You are saying that you are willing to put up with a lot in order to keep your husband. What happens if he chooses her at some point over you?

Answer 3

BAD. I don't see women having multiple husbands, just the filthy perverted men! Why is that?

Men abuse and hustle women into an institutionalized way of thinking so they can rape the little girls and teens and have their way with women.

Most men are no good anyway, and are always scheming to get to that vagina pie! Polygamy brings with it greed, rape, humiliation, and all of other negative results.

It's sick to me and women are equal and should not allow pigface males to brainwash them into thinking this sort of filthy, immoral, adulterous behavior is ok. Even if you read in the Bible, God never commissioned or condoned polygamy; the Bible only showed what happened when those that did it suffered in the end.

Men are always the ones to start some new filthy conduct so they can get to the meat of the vagina and "irrationally rule over women" and back them into dark closets and corners.

This is why I stay single. I don't appreciate men very much at all. I am awaiting Armageddon because I have hope of a new way of life after all this outrageousness and those committing it are destroyed.

Men are filthbags always plotting new ways to get multiple labia pie.

Answer 4

There are good reasons for it for sure but is your reason a good one? What happens if he decides to find another partner and then all of a sudden there are three wives? I would be very careful about this situation and get some clear assurances and proper advise, maybe from a few women that are in that sort of relationship. I am sure you can find them on the web to chat with if you look. Also realize that it is illegal in the United States.

Answer 5

First of all, your husband does love either one of you. He is only thinking of himself. You cannot share a man. This will not work. There will be only evil in your house and no one can find peace in that kind of environment. He married you. And til death do you part. If he's not willing to honor that, then he will face his judgment to suffer for it. You keep your soul clean. Don't have any part in his lust or vile nature. If he won't have you and you alone, he is no man but a wretched beast.

I feel for you and am sad that you would even consider putting yourself in such a horrible, hurtful and disgusting situation.

Answer 6

In the first place I believe that polygamy is against the law in most states. Secondly, I believe in true love but sooner or later there is going to be friction more than likely when off springs come along. I think you are doing this because of your lack of self esteem and confidence in yourself so you tend to come up up with the most stupid excuse. Good luck.

Answer 7

A very good yardstick to measure this by would be to find out if you and he would be willing to accept your bringing in another man into the relationship, as he has brought another woman.

If not, then something's wrong.

I have not lived exactly polygamy, but I have lived in a commune (yeah Im old lol). There were pros and cons to it.

The pros were that it was MUCH easier to afford things, MUCH easier to raise the kids, there was always someone there to watch them, close trusted friends who were basically family, and we all worked really hard to do our parts to contribute so that everything was always covered.

The cons were the drama. Oh yeah, the drama. We did pretty well considering others I saw in the same situation, but there were moments that's for sure. And break-ups, which kind of left the ones left out on a limb financially and short on kid care a bit. But it all worked out in the end, usually.

It is pretty much required that you will all have to have most of the same goals in mind. For instance, our goals were good education for the kids, a decent roof over our heads, bills always paid up, good food on the table, everyone does his or her share, takes turns at the things that no one likes to do like laundry, etc. Everyone helps with the homework, etc.

We were usually 3 core couples, but you know there was a lot of experimentation going on back in those days, so the lines got pretty blurred at times. One thing I can say is that it was a lot of fun most of the time.

It's very, very, VERY important that if you decide to live a life like that, you will HAVE to get rid of any jealousy. And everyone will have to learn never, ever, ever to do or act or say anything that would CAUSE anyone to feel jealousy. In other words, nothing is yours anymore. Nothing is anyone's, it all belongs to EVERYONE.

It will never work if any of you keep any kind of territorial ego thing in your way of thinking. Gotta get rid of that.

In the end, we ended up going our different ways, most of us didn't end up remaining with as the couples that we had started out as, but it wasn't some horrid messy thing to go our own ways. We grew up, moved on, and have remained very good friends for around 3 decades - we are all still family even though we live all across the country now.

And our kids all turned out great, if I do say so myself. No drug problems, no crime, nothing like that, just good responsible people they turned out to be, some of them are in their 30s now! lol

Anyway, so I don't know if this helps you, my situation was larger than 3 people, but the dynamics are kind of the same with the having to deal with egos and jealousy, and whose job it is to do what, and cooperation, and even sex.

You'll also need to really see how you would feel deep inside with this other woman in the picture. If you know you wouldn't be able to handle it, then don't even go there.

And remember, if your husband wouldn't be willing to allow you to bring in another man like he has another woman, it's not right. Period.

Answer 8

I have many misgivings about it. I married a Muslim man, and they are allowed 4 wives. I told him in the beginning that I would never share him with anyone else, but now I am kind of thinking about it because I can't have any more children, and he loves children. It is a very hard and selfless decision.

Answer 9

I don't think it's wrong as long as the woman is free to take on other partners as well. Google "polyamory". That means basically, loving more than one. There's a few people these days who are pracitising that.

It is unfair to you the way it happened though. Especially since he didn't tell you before he decided to do something.

Answer 10

I think polygamy is bad.Sure you could have gotten away with it a few centuries back but now its just ridiculous.But nonetheless,I won't marry more than one man and have to take care of them!!!