Looking for others who are polygamist or are interested to discuss pros and cons about this lifestyle.
I have been married to my husband for two years now, been together four. Never did either of us think he would ever fall inlove with another woman. Yet three months ago, it happend. I was at first very upset and hurt, and I guess I still am. The fact he didnt tell me before he had decided to do something was the worst part of it all. I have since accepted what has been happening. and cant really bring myself to leave him. I see he does love this woman, but also loves me at the same time.
We have been discussing the possibility of the three of us moving in together, and bringing our families under one roof, alot because we see no point in having to spend the money to go the 60 miles back and forth to see eachother.
I would like to find others who are also interested or in this type of relationship to give me some feedback on how life is, and if its worth it. Thank you.
2007-09-27 17:22:29 · 12 answers · asked by Jessica P 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
In the bible many ppl had more than one wife, if it was wrong there would be a commandment about it dont you think. And I am not going into this lightly, that is why I am asking about it. I am looking into it and investigating the good and bad sides of this. Please dont judge, you havent been in this situation so dont judge. and no its not illegal. HAHAHa
2007-09-27 17:33:47 · update #1
To have the opportunity to fall in love with someone else, he was deceitful to you in not being open about where he'd been or what he was doing.
I would feel betrayed and would not like it one bit. I also agree that it's a sin and is not what God intended.
Why is it fair for the man to have more than one wife while you are stuck with the one husband sticking his you-know-what in whichever one of you he feels like on any given night?! That's not right !! I think both should be faithful or you should not be married.
I agree that some of us do not understand your lifestyle.
If you're going to talk about what happened in the Bible, maybe you should read what it says about adultery.
2007-09-27 17:35:31 · answer #1 · answered by Shannon M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This isn't the kind of question you should ask a common stranger. And for me, I've been in your husband's shoes so-to-speak... but I just left everyone instead.
Honestly, if you're not hurt by it... go on. By all means, after all, you're the one with the ring. ;)
Secondly, you need to have a very serious talk with your husband, and tell him (even if you don't mean it) that you don't mind if he doesn't love you as much as he loves her. Why ask that? Because, if he loves her more, then you know it would never work.
And, maybe ask how he'd feel if you got another guy into the house hold that you also loved...
It's best to understand and assess the situation, and not take these kinds of matters into the hands of people who wouldn't understand (due to different backgrounds, cultures, and the like). But, the real answer should be in you.
2007-09-28 00:33:16 · answer #2 · answered by Bob Saget 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Polygamy would work if the 2 wives had at least some distance apart, but some work with both wives under the same roof..it all depends on mutual understanding.
I am of Muslim background so the concept of polygamy is not something new to me.My grandpa had 2 wives and each of the wives had their own house..sure, at first it was hard for my grandma (the 1st wife), as my grandpa married her best friend.They did not speak to each other for about a year or so, but soon enough, they were going to the market together and doing stuff together, But still, they did not live under the same roof (the distance from their 2 homes are about 5-6 miles apart,not that far). My grandpa's explanation is simple..its to avoid jealousy. Sure, its easy to say 'oh, i wont be jealous at all', and maybe you wont, but what about the 2nd wife/other woman?would she feel the same?
My grandpa has passed away, and both of his wives are still alive..and living in their respective homes..could u imagine the disorder if they had to live in the same house without dear ol' grandad?
Though, im not saying that its totally impossible for you guys to live under the same roof..but think it over first..sure it would cut back on cost, but is it really worth it?
Personally, im a dude that is on a one woman diet..im not against polygamy, its just not my thing..im a selfish fella, i dont like to share.So i wouldnt want my woman to share me.
2007-09-28 00:36:34 · answer #3 · answered by Ironlung 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You see how you can change your mind if you really care enough about someone? This love you are talking about is one sided and it's you. Why can't he change his mind about you? Love another woman? No. Be emotionally and physically attached, dependent, yes. Most men would be proud, happy, and smart to have a wife that is willing to put herself aside for them. You deserve the best, the very best because you are a dream come true and not just a female but a real woman. I hope things work out for you. Good luck
2007-09-28 00:32:31 · answer #4 · answered by Modern Man 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How are you going to feel if he takes her to bed more often than he takes you? What happens if he gets bored with the both of you and decides that he needs another playmate. I just can't imagine any man loving someone, and still asking them to share with another person. How would he feel if you wanted to bring another man into the home? Fair is fair, and I think you should ask him.
2007-09-28 00:28:46 · answer #5 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you deserve better than this guy..why would you stay in that arrangement..
i see you getting the short end of that stick..no pun intended..
but the guy cheats on you and you are SOO ok with it that you are willing to stick with it?
cmon...you owe it to yourself to find someone who will love YOU for you...not ask you to live as a 3rd wheel..
and LIZ...UP THERE...THAT IS SOME BS.,..
MORMONS DO NOT DO THE POLYGAMY THING..
HOW OLD AND TIRED THAT JOKE IS..IT HAS BEEN OVER A FRICKIN CENTURY...
IT ISN'T THE MORMON CHURCH..IT IS THE FLDS..TOTALLY NOT THE SAME..
YOU LIKE POLYGAMY..GO TO HILDALE UTAH OR COLORADO CITY, AZ.
2007-09-28 00:29:00 · answer #6 · answered by juanes addicion 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
well you're definitely open minded... only you can decide if it's "good or bad" but always remember NEVER to let society tell you what type of relationship to be in. Thats all up to you girl.
2007-09-28 00:26:28 · answer #7 · answered by Mike L 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am a Christian and I think that is not right.
I am gonna be married soon and I believed fidelity will be the best gift I can share w/ my husband.
2007-09-28 00:25:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Polygamy is a sin.
People aren't supposed to be married to different people.
Did you hear the news in Utah, where they arrested that guy who had seven wives?
Yeah, it's creepy.
2007-09-28 00:26:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I don't see that as a good thing. Why would you want to put yourself in this kind of situation?
2007-09-28 00:28:50 · answer #10 · answered by Animal Luvr 4 Life 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋