Looking for others who are polygamist or are interested to discuss pros and cons about this lifestyle.
I have been married to my husband for two years now, been together four. Never did either of us think he would ever fall inlove with another woman. Yet three months ago, it happend. I was at first very upset and hurt, and I guess I still am. The fact he didnt tell me before he had decided to do something was the worst part of it all. I have since accepted what has been happening. and cant really bring myself to leave him. I see he does love this woman, but also loves me at the same time.
We have been discussing the possibility of the three of us moving in together, and bringing our families under one roof, alot because we see no point in having to spend the money to go the 60 miles back and forth to see eachother.
I would like to find others who are also interested or in this type of relationship to give me some feedback on how life is, and if its worth it. Thank you.
2007-09-27 17:22:13 · 10 answers · asked by Jessica P 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You obviously are not religious or you wouldn't even be asking this question.... and don't tell me that some religions recognize this as OK...such as the Mormons.... because that is not true.... the people of that religion abolished that over 100 years ago and only practiced this for a short time and had sound reasoning behind it... any that claim the are still Mormon ...like in big love.... were excommunicated from the church... not to mention it is illegal.......I'm sure your husband would love to have his own private Harem... What Ever Happened to LOVE??? If you truly were serious about your marriage and loved your spouse this type of behavior would never occur to you
2007-09-27 17:47:16 · answer #1 · answered by DavidV 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I do not currently live this lifestyle, but i would never dismiss it just because it is "not customary and traditional" My husband and i have a very open relationship and feel that honesty is the best policy. There are NO secrets between us! I think the only thing about your situation that bothers me is the fact that he kept it hidden from you! I am not so sure i would take that lightly. On the other hand if you feel that you can live like this and not be hurt by him having alone time with her and everything, then more power to you! Obvisouly this is only something you can answer for yourself. Judging by the way you worded your ? you seem to understand that just because he loves someone else does not mean he does not love you. There are definitely all different types of people out there and every single one has something different to offer. I do think however that before you have this woman and her family i am assuming children, you should prolly wait a little more than three months! That is a HUGE step that really needs to be thought out and discussed COMPLETELY! Whether it is from the discipline of the children to everyones financial responsiblity! EVERYTHING has to be discussed, planned and mapped out so that there is no conflict, jealousy and bitterness because someone is working while the other isn't and someone said this to "my"child! Just keep communication open and see how it goes! Good luck to you in whichever you choose!
2007-09-28 01:30:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
For your sake I am going to cast relegion aside. We are only talking about you and your husband, you never mentioned relegion.
A very serious con is to have the other woman live in the same house with you; it will take away from your privacy and your sense of importance; these things are extremely important not to mention your dignity and respect.
Keep in mind you and she both need space. Space is important.
A man no matter what he says does not have two hearts, so he can not love you the same as he loves her and he can not love her the same as he loves you.
Let us say that you go ahead with this arrangement; it is a safe bet to never question him about her. What he does with her is none of your business; you make it your business you will stop your self from that something special you have with him. Your goal is to enjoy your time with him.
That's about it. That's all I can tell you.
2007-09-28 04:14:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In the first place this is against the Federal law and, he can be held liable, this is Rape and, punishable by life in prison under the Federal guidelines. Do you still want to discuss it?
Oh! and, the Federal knows no parole system.
2007-09-28 07:13:56 · answer #4 · answered by cowboydoc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Islam allows a man to marry up to 4 wives with certain conditions that is he must be financially capable, he must be physically capable, he must be fair to all wives. He must marry these women legally, they cannot be women who has affairs with or concubines/mistresses....most muslims do not take up 4 wives bcoz they cannot fulfill the conditions...If ur a muslim and ur husband can fulfill these conditions, i would say that its ok. But if ur not a muslim but a christian/jew i dont think ur religion allows it so i would tell him that he cannot do that and that he must choose between u and her. If he has already cheated on u...i dont think u should stay with him....
2007-09-28 02:39:28 · answer #5 · answered by Sony 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're willing to share your marriage with another person then you really don't understand what marriage is all about.
What happens when maybe 6 months from now he brings another woman home who he "loves".
He's playing you.
2007-09-28 00:44:00 · answer #6 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just look to the MARRIED WOMEN who are working on the team prosecuting Warren Jeffs (let alone his victims are minors). You think they would share their husbands?
2007-09-28 00:48:38 · answer #7 · answered by kttphoenix 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry, but what will YOU get out of this? If it were me, I'd leave. How would you truly ever be 100% happy with that situation? Sorry, but that's wrong, and he married YOU, so he should be with YOU, not anyone else. Good luck!
2007-09-28 00:40:40 · answer #8 · answered by m930 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You must have known about this for longer than 3 months. You must have an open marriage for this type of behaviour to occur. If you are comfortable with it then go ahead. Your husband will be one lucky man, but on the other hand how will you feel sharing him with another woman?
2007-09-28 00:37:48 · answer #9 · answered by I tell it like it is 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋
This isn't TV (Big Love), okay?
Two words...Warren Jeffs.
2007-09-28 01:23:44 · answer #10 · answered by Wayner 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋