I have a student who is very quiet?

Question

I'm a pre-calculus teacher and I have a 16 year old girl in one of my classes. I had her last year as a student as well. Last year she was very quiet, but this year she seems even more quiet and is very shy. She won't talk to anyone and when someone tries talking to her she replies, but very quietly and she looks really nervous to talk to anyone. Whenever I glance over at her she always looks very distressed. But she's a very hardworker and gets all of her work done and is very thourough. I just don't know why she's so scared around people. What do you guys think?

Answer 1

I think you should try to be an ally. Covertly write a note on a returned assignment asking if she'd be willing to talk to you one of these days after class or school. Then tell her you notice that she simply appears to be either scared, shy or otherwise distressed and you want to make sure everything's okay and there's nothing she particularly needs. It'd be important to say that if this is the way she always is, you're not saying there's something wrong with it, but that it was something you had to bring up with her to make sure she's alright.

Answer 2

Being a 16 year old girl myself.. i will give you my advise of if i were in her position. However, being an Australian some of my views/norms are different.

I'm not about to say what is wrong with her (ie, why she is quiet) but from my experience, it would generally be one of afew things.
*She is sad *She is very academic-orientated *She is shy *She has no friends (thus uncomfortable)

(over here, teachers talk of students is common, and a lot of teachers seem to know who's friends with who, is it the same where you are? If so, ask if she's the same in her other classes)

But i will just theorize what i have seen before, and take a possible stab from what you say. Partially because i have been that person in some classes for years.
For me, i wasn't too happy. I was fine so long as my mind was busy and distracted. So i would be very thorough in my work and work as hard as i could to distract myself as much as i could... Even though i had friends in my class, i didn't talk to them, because i wanted to do work to distract myself (talking made things worse).

In that situation, what can the teacher do? Well, every person is different. I had one teacher who tried to pull me aside and see if anything was wrong, and i hated her for it. (she was well intentioned, but it's not what i wanted).
However, later on another teacher did a similar, less forceful, thing and i respected her for it.

My advise would be, if she dawdles out of class one day, and you can quietly say something without the rest of the class noticing, gentle ask if she's ok. If she's "fine", let it be- it's not your responsibility.

Answer 3

Maybe she's learned how nasty people can be to someone who is very quiet and serious about their work. I would bet that she's probably fine, and is just nervous with the majority extroverts who will always think there's something wrong with a girl who doesn't feel a need to be jabbering all the time.
toonew2two - I have to say - I'm thankful there are people like you - very good answer! It's right - these quiet people can be most valuable if they don't feel like they're expected to change their personality in order to be accepted.

Answer 4

It could be a cultural thing. Could she of a more "traditional" culture where being quiet and avoiding prolonged eye contact are signs of respect? If she is of a different ethnicity than the other students, she could be feeling self-conscious of that. It wouldn't hurt to talk to her in a really non-threatening way and ask if you can do something to make class more comfortable for her. You might not really be able to, but the gesture will be thoughtful.

Answer 5

Some people are just shy. They are what they are and trying to change them will cause them more stress than accepting them for what they are and facilitating them.

Other people have been so badly hurt by people that they have learned to fear them and any connection with...

This girl probably is somewhere in the middle of these too extremes.

You might want to call her aside sometime and ask her how she would feel about tutoring some of the struggling students and listen for her excuses as to why she would want to do it. They might give you an insight at least into what she is thinking about people.

Answer 6

I actually was responsible for supervising student workers this summer and had 2 extremely shy- introverted students - spoke very quietly and didn't any eye contact when talking to you. In a one on one session, both students opened up and adjusted, but were very uncomfortable in a socials setting where there were groups of people. Perhaps she suffers from this same fear of social interaction, perhaps attempt speaking with her alone and see how she responds

Answer 7

Wow, I'm actually a very sociable person but very shy in class also. Maybe ask her, how she is doing. Or get the kids to present a problem in front of the class and explain how they got their answer. Maybe they can do group activities even in Pre-calc so that everyone is more sociable.
Good Luck :)

Answer 8

As a retired teacher, I can understand your concern. I would suggest you speak with her counselor. Perhaps the counselor knows something you don't know and cannot tell you, but could talk to the student about.

The most effective you can be is to praise the student when she excels, and let her know that her work is more than satisfactory.

Answer 9

This kind of withdrawal can sometimes mean that the person is being abused, emotionally, physically, or sexually. It's not the only thing, but one you should consider. Maybe a quiet chat with a guidance counselor would help.

Answer 10

I was that way when I was a teen-ager. I really don't know why I was that way, and it was hard to get out of my shell. Just be patient with her and give her compliments, but don't over-do it.
She could be having problems at home, but I didn't when I was that way.