My husband and I are getting a divorce and I am seeing this guy that my daughter once liked till she knew we started going out. Now when we comes around she gets all hyper and acts out. She gets angry at me and says I don't pay her no attention, which I do. What am I suppose to do?????? Please help
2007-09-27 16:42:41 · 14 answers · asked by rosepedal_25 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No all of you idiots, this guy is my age, my daughter got along with him before we started seeing one another.
2007-09-27 17:03:32 · update #1
well divorce is hard on kids.. more then people know.. but you do need to talk to her about the divorce and how it all works and what to expect. talk to her about you dating again and find out how she feels about it.. if she tells you how she feels about it you both can work this out...you could also date this person when shes gone on her weekends. its might be just to early for her yet to see you with someone else.. and not with the hubby she knew you once loved. it will get better but talking to her about it at her level is the best thing i would think. i know i would of wanted my mother to talk to me about it.. find a happy medium.. good luck
2007-09-27 16:50:37 · answer #1 · answered by Kat 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a common reaction, take special time for your daughter, however I think it would be very unwise to drop a person because your daughter is acting out....work it out with her, maybe have her school counselor talk with her and many of the schools have special classes where children of divorce can get together. It is hard on the children when divorce occurs, they need extra help sometimes. Maybe don't bring him around her so much for a while....
2007-09-27 23:50:16 · answer #2 · answered by Rein 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to explain to your daughter that she doesn't need to be threatened by your new boyfriend. He is not going to take her place or her father's place. If she is uncomfortable, tell her that you will not see him when she is there, but that you would like for her to get to know him and hope that in the future she will want to have a relationship with him, because you want to have a relationship with him. Her feelings are important, and you need to let her know that she will always come first, but you can not let her run your life. She will act this way with every guy you date, whether it is this one or Joe down the street. Part of it is the stress of divorce, part of it is age and part of it is insecurity. Hang in there.
2007-09-27 23:53:49 · answer #3 · answered by Lee B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Focus on your child right now, she needs you. This is a tough age and your divorce and new man just heaped it on, focus on being a mother and leave the rest for a bit later. Any man you are dating that a 13 liked seems like there is a blurring of the boundaries somewhere.
2007-09-27 23:55:05 · answer #4 · answered by donny_mollysmom 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You need to back up a bit.
She has just had a major thing happen in her life and you need to concenrate on her and her feelings.
If your new man is the one he will understand.
Sit your daughter down and talk to her, ask her why her attitude has changed towards him.
Assure her that he will never be her dad.
You are going to have issues with her regardless of who it is, maybe its just to much to soon.
Good Luck
2007-09-27 23:49:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your daughter liked a guy that much older than herself or are you interested in someone close to her own age? Whichever...your daughter's feelings should be more important.
2007-09-27 23:48:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Stop seeing him.
Your daughter is much more important than a guy. Even if this guy is suppossed to be "the one" she is the only one that matters right now. He is not her dad, so there is no obligation there. This is a no brainer!
2007-09-27 23:46:28 · answer #7 · answered by luvin the life 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
keep seeing him
who controls your life you or your daughter?
she have to adjust
it not for you to tailor you new men you may meet to her
she is selfish and fears losing your attention to him
it is important that YOU remain happy and emotionally well balanced
this in turn will benefit her with a happy and secure mom with a lower level of stress, she of course will not realize this
2007-09-27 23:48:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
You are supposed to always put the feelings, needs, and concerns of you child first.
Stop seeing him. You have already damaged your daughter and we are not going to need another stripper in 5 years.
2007-09-27 23:48:41 · answer #9 · answered by box of rain 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋
well it looks like you don't care what your dauter thinks well I'll tell you you left her farther for this other man she don't understand he your lover but she knows when you make his breakfast the next moring now dump the b/f and do what's right for once remember your daughter not your selfish self
2007-09-28 00:25:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋