How can I make my wife understand that its my job to mow the lawn & change oil. And hers is to cook & clean?

Question

When I get home from work, I'm tired. All she has to do is stand at a cash register all day. The heavyest thing she has to lift is a 5 pound bag a sugar. I work hard for my money. She should have dinner ready when I get home an not aspect me to wash dishes or take the dog out. I dont get what she matters. How do I conveince her to do the girl things around the house? we have 2 kids 3 and 4.

I DO work around the house! I mow the lawwn AND RAKE ELAVES. I get the oil changed in the car. I do other things too that I cant remember right now, but I DO LOTS!

I take trash out to!

Id really like to here from some guys who could tell me how they did it with their wife, and not so from women who are just happy to push wwork off on there man!

Answer 1

Have you ever done her job???? Do you have any idea how draining it can be working in retail. People are rude, cruel and they make it personal.

She works just as hard for her money too. And this really isn't job issues is my guess. There's more to it then that.

My guess is you simply think you're wife is less then. That you are some how superior to her. If you have young kids at home and she works and then has to deal with the "girly" details of taking care of YOUR kids too. That in itself is hard work.

I also sense you are threatened by her ability to multi-task and work, take care of your primitive, caveman, jerky a*s and the kids.

You're jealous!!!! Otherwise who did what wouldn't be an issue and your manhood, what's left of it, wouldn't be so damn threatened. Do you somehow think she is making you look bad????

Get over yourself and leave her alone.

xxx

Answer 2

You're so funny. You really think a guy is going to answer that? All [some] guys are going to do is back you up, but I don't think you'll be taking them to bed tonight...eh?

Not only that, why would you ask a question you didn't want to know the answer to????

Standing all day on your feet, dealing with the public and lifting the occasional 5# bags of sugar, would wear on someone. Taking care of a 3 and 4 year old, would wear on you, too.

Your job might be to mow the lawn, rake the leaves and change the oil, but the oil only needs changed once every three months... grass needs mowed [maybe] once a week...leaves need raked during the fall, and then, maybe twice a week?????

Meals need prepared 3 times a day... dishes need washed after every meal... Laundry needs ran [with a family of 5] probably 3 loads a day. Children need bathed daily... read to, played with, etc. Floor needs swept probably after every meal... Then, you got her weekly "womanly chores"... dusting, vacuuming, changing bedding, cleaning bathrooms...JUST TO NAME A FEW. Then, add the measely job at [obviously] a grocery store...

YOU do the math.

We're in the year 2007. I'm not quite sure what year you're stuck in...1950?... Maybe?

Answer 3

Sorrry, but you're going to have to hear from another woman. "All she has to do is stand at a cash register all day." Really? So no one ever asks her to walk anywhere, or carry anything, or talk to anyone? She doesn't even have to handle cash, deal with customers, or be able to pack up? Wow. I want a job like that-- all I have to do is stand there and look pretty and maybe pick up a bag of sugar?? Wow... didn't know there were any jobs out there like that.

Are you getting the idea that I don't buy this? OH, and so it's HER job to cook and YOUR job to mow? I'd better tell my husband that he really should have been mowing when I was doing it... and that he should have been out working, even though he was disabled, when I was pregnant and doing everything in AND out of the house.

How did the guys do it with their wives? Wow, well maybe they irritated them into submission.

Sorry, kiddo, but you sound like a totally sexist, insensitive human being. "All she has to do" is look after other people all day, followed by coming home and having a fulltime job if you had your way about it-- I suppose she'd be the one responsible for ALL the childcare, the cooking, the cleaning, oh and not forgetting to be the who*e in the bedroom when you'd expect it, supposed to be responsible for the laundry. And oh, the wonderful husband picked up the mail? Bless him! OH-- and he opened the back door to let the dog out? Heavens, I'd better get him a beer and help him put his feet up!

Get into the 21st century, kiddo-- life's changed. If you don't smarten up, and she does (and it sounds like she's pretty clue-y already), you aren't going to have her ten years from now. You might have been brought up in a really sexist household, but that isn't the way of the world nowadays.

Build a bridge, mate, and get over it... and then, wash it!

Answer 4

Ok here are some ideas for you two. it might help. since you both work and both bring in an income. then trade off on the cooking and cleaning like one day you cook and she does the dishes and the next day she cooks and you do the dishes. you can do this with laundry too. and other things around the house it will help cut down on the fighting. you can also trade on the mowing too.

Just a tip my husband complaned about that too. he thought it was my job to clean and cook and do the dishes. we both had jobs and it came to a point that I said fine and I quit my job and stayed at home to become a homemaker. Now that the kids are older I've tought each of the boy's all boy's how to cook some meals so we will trade every day and I went out and got a dishwasher on wheels so that no one will fight over dishes and everyone does there own laundry. we all help weach other and we are all happy but for five years we all fought and almost got devoriced. so compermise a little and you could find happness. good luck

Answer 5

Marriage is a partnership.

There is no need to label who does the MOST work on their
respective jobs .... OR who "lifts" the most weight per day!

Think about it ... Your wife carried two children in her body
for nine months EACH and give birth to them!!!! Can YOU
top THAT!

You and your wife should sit down and divide up the household chores. YOU BOTH WORK outside the HOME...
(and) like I said earlier ... It doesn't REALLY matter WHO works the hardiest ... OR lifts the MOST. The issue is YOU
both work OUTSIDE the home. AND you BOTH are responsible for the household chores.

IF you NEED the money that your wife's income contributes to
your household. Then you NEED to start respecting and
acknowledging HER contribution and stop trying to belittle
the "level of difficulty" of HER DAY.

Instead of EXPECTING HER to HAVE DINNER ready....
Why don't YOU bring dinner home??? Or better YET ... WHY
don't you and your wife either cook TOGETHER or take
turns cooking.

If you want YOUR wife to do the "GIRL" things around the
house .... THEN YOU SHOULD DO ALL THE GUY THINGS
WHICH MEANS ..... YOU SHOULD EARN ALL THE MONEY! Let your wife stay home .... THEN and ONLY then
should YOU EXPECT a HOT MEAL waiting when you get
home!

And you have got two toddlers ..... so because of that ... still don't expect a "picture perfect" house when you get home!

Don't expect your wife to do EVERYTHING girlie .... UNLESS
YOU are doing ALL the manly THINGS BY YOURSELF!!!

YOUR WIFE'S INCOME CONTRIBUTES TO THE RUNNING
OF YOUR HOUSEHOLD .... AND SO SHOULD YOU!!!!

Why don't your respect her contributions??? Maintaining a
family is NOT ALL about YOUR comfort level!!!!

Sounds like you have a GOOD wife ... BE GRATEFUL!

Answer 6

Listen up you egotistical sexist pig. It is men like you with your stupid inbred backwater s*** for brains thinking that give men a bad name. Look you wife works all day just the same as you. You need to learn a little respect! Or better yet a truck load of respect. I can't believe you have the nerve to ask a question like this. Are you a Jack***?!?!? I'm sorry I didn't mean to say that for all you jack***es out there I apologize for comparing you to this man. You are much better than him. Dude this is not the 1940's! People only "belong " in the kitchen if they want to be there. Got it! The fact that she hasn't kicked your dumb *** to the curb is a miracle. I was raise to respect women. My mother is the strongest person I know. And if any pr*ck ever had the nerve to tell her where her place is, he would have said hello to the fat end of a frying pan. So, here is an Idea. Why don't I tell you were your place is. Next time you decide to change the oil in your car. Do us all a favor and pull it into the garage, close the door start the engine, and sit in it for like an hour or so.

Welcome to the new millennium, asshole! Thankfully men with your thinking are a dying breed.

Answer 7

I would suggest that you both should talk through it and come up with a game plan. It should be an even distribution vs this is for a woman and that is for a guy. Here is an example.

I'm a guy. My wife is skinny and only weighs 98 lbs. She is tiny built. So it makes sense that I take heavy stuff and help her out. Like, I do laundry because its in the basement and its easier for me to carry the bulk load of our clothes.

Likewise, I clean the showers because its bigger than sinks and toilets. She cleans the sinks and toilets. I clean the mirrors because they are too high for her to reach to the top.
I take the trash out, while she does the dishes. I mow the lawn and vaccum the carpets, while she waters the grass and cooks.

So, what I'm trying to say is... instead of making things gender based, make it more of "what can you handle and what can I handle". Be more realistic, honest and truthful to each other about it. I think you both will get a good laugh and move on with daily tasks. :) I hope this helps you.

Answer 8

You didn't actually say what your job was. But it is extremely tiring to be on your feet all day working as a cashier. I think that once you both get home you should share the responsibility equally. How often does the grass need to be cut. Or the oil changed? Less frequently than the dishes need to be done, and dinner being made. Tell your wife that you love her and will help her in any way you can. Tomorrow you can start by taking her and the kids out for dinner.

Answer 9

The answer is that you can't MAKE anyone do anything. I usually cook and clean for my husband, but if I am tired he likes to take a turn too. He is a lot faster at cleaning than I am, but I put stuff where it belongs better. I have stood at a register all day before and it takes a lot more energy than you think. Dealing with people everyday is difficult even for the nicest people and your feet and back hurt like hell. My husband changes the oil and mows the lawn too. I cheer him on and help where I can, because he thinks those are mens jobs too, but I am capable as well.

Answer 10

Okay I may be a woman and my husband may be military so we works his *** off real hard day in and day out but when he is home and I am trying to take care of the baby and do dishes and clean and do everything else around the house and it gets hard he helps every once in a while. Your job is from the time you go to work till you come home. For your wife she works then comes home and does everything else. I am not saying you are wrong for her wanting to do all the girly things but it also depends on how each person is raised. Buy if she needs your help, ask her if you can just sit down for like 20 mins to relax and then if you could do it. Compromise with each other or believe me your marriage will not last. I hope it works out for you.

Answer 11

I'm a stay-at-home-mom, and I have a business that I run out of my home. We also have children. Your wife works outside of the home 5 days a week and you have 2 kids? IF you have never been a cashier it's tiring work standing there for hours at a time. I was a hairstylist for over 10 years before I started this business, and I worked 10 hours a day 6 days a week (with my children in daycare), and IF you don't think that's NOT back breaking work, THINK again.Your wife should NOT be expected to do everything that you deem as "wifely". My hubby is in the NAVY. He works 12 hours a day (working on aircraft), sometimes for weeks at a time, He helps me with the kids, doing dishes, laundry, and does NOT complain about it, because I work just as hard as he does. I cook, clean, do laundry, run errands, take care of our children, plan menus, and do the grocery shopping ALL BY MYSELf. So IF you want her to do what you deem is "wifely" then don't make her work outside the home. It's that simple.