feeling bad?

Question

I feel terrible.
lifes been hard this year .
my dad died about ten weeks ago.
he had lukemia.we became a family again for a while.
it was good. i love the time we had together.
Now i am living in his house. and i have no job yet after careing.
also my girlfriend who lives 200 miles away wants to move in.I dont know if i can do that. with out her life would have been realy hard. i care a about her,but we didi live together once and things didnt work out to well. thats why she lives away. i understand that she wants to settle down .she loves me and she keeps telling me the clocks ticking. but for some feeling i dont truely feel happy to be in thie relationship. i want to be .i want her to be happy .i want to be happy.but i feel trapped.in some ways it hurts.like its not where i want to be.that i feel i cant give her all she deserves.but in anaother way i dont want to be alone. i feel a fool to hurt her. shes beautiful brilliant and funny and extremly kind .
total pain and termoil

Answer 1

When we lose someone we love,... your dad for example, we get a wake up call in life. It's lonely, sure, been there have the tee myself, but maybe you need to listen to yourself, get to KNOW whom you are and experience being alone. Talk to family and friends, surround yourself with things you enjoy, books, music, and network... bringing someone 200 miles that you are not crazy about is a band aid for what you are experiencing.. and that's the death of someone dear and near to you... time helps, and yes, even in time you'll smile at the memories of your dad, but you are hurting now.. don't complicate it more..allow yourself time to mourn..

Answer 2

Victoria, I am sorry to hear that there is a bit of disrespect in your house---but a 33 year old will never move out if mom is dottering and spoiling him---why should he go?? trouble is he will never learn how to peacefully co-exist with a woman on a mature level...what a shame. You are also witnessing a bit of crude disrespectful behavior that comes from being family and living together all these years. To an outsider this all sounds terrible--to you and your brother it is just day to day living. So say no if you have to--he won't explode or turn blue. Relax, be cool, be nice, and good luck-----SMILE

Answer 3

Well the thing is you are not sure about things at this point in time and specially about yourself,you need to take a break and let her know how u feel about this whole relationship and also about your concerns relating to her.
Try and get back to work,get a normal routine and think about it and see how u feel and then get back to her cos theres no point being with someone u dont want to be with just for the sake of that person,do what makes u happy and satisfied!!good luck!!

Answer 4

well some of what you are filling can also be from your fathers
death, I think that you are depressed and you should get some help, try taking some depression pills or something see your doctor let him or her know what you are filling. And as for your girl friend, i know it must be hard but do you really want to go back to something that you already once got out of, if you were one living as a couple and thing didn't work out why dose one want to go back to the same thing. just really think about what you are going to do about this and of course one dint want to lose someone they care about because its hard to be without the person, its called old habits.

Answer 5

im sorry you're so down, and i dont have much advice to offer about most of the stuff, but as far as the relationship goes.. lemme see if i can help. first off, do you love her? thats really the only reason to be with someone. you cant stay together because of you're past, or because of a fear hurting her. or even a fear of being alone. that isnt fair to either of you. if your not ready to move in, then she should understand, but if you dont love her, you need to tell her.

Answer 6

getting past this death will take a few mos and you know you aren't in love with this chick so there is no time to figure this in. you need to let her go on her way you can find someone else and then try things after you have sorted your stuff out. thee is time for everything and not to be rushed and pushed to something you do not want. yes being alone is scary but let me tell you how scary when there is no love in that realtions ship but one sided and not your side take care.

Answer 7

my friend,i also am alone as you.my whole family has died and im not sure which way to go,go we must as life will go on.go to the river and watch the water,keep watching and you will find your answer,its there believe me as im an old man and i know these things,if you dont find it there try the church as some times the answer may just be there,good luck,buz.

Answer 8

Don't let her move in and set the hook. If you care for her, tell her that you really don't love her. Also tell her that you want to take time to mourn. If it didn't work out remember why?

Answer 9

love makes a family

Answer 10

let her move in but before you do let her make extra sure its what you want to do i mean you can say i really don't think this working out and i think we should live next door or go solo. Sorry.