Sometimes our spouses just can't give us everything we need! I sometimes think it would be healthy, as long as it is done safely, to have someone on the side. I'm not saying to just go out, and sleep with the whole town! But, sometimes I just don't find my husband that sexy. Marriage is not easy. We argue over finances. Before we got married sex was hot! Now, it's a freakin chore!!! BTW, I don't think I would care if he had something on the side, as long as it was not in my face! Does anyone feel the same way as me?
2007-09-27 12:10:39 · 49 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
marriage is a vow u two took before god if the marriage is not going the way u want it to go maybe u can get help try to make it work if u try every thing there is to try i would ratter see u get a divorce than cheat being with someone else while u are still marry can only ask for trouble know matter how careful u are things in the dark always come to the light besides being with someone different can be exciting & new but we as woman always fall in love first cause we love hard some long so i don't want to see u get hurt talk to ur husband let him know that u are not that happy like u use to be maybe he can work on the things that's making u unhappy than u can say at lease i tried. *
2007-09-27 12:26:57 · answer #1 · answered by shay love 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
HI Hon..
"Having something on the side" So to speak..could turn out to be ..You on the outside looking in..Is that what you want..You're saying this now, because you're bored..And like you said sex is becoming a chore..And sometimes we think the grass is always greener somewhere or with someone else..NOT ALWAYS SO!
Why not bring some new excitement into the marriage..Rent some porn movies..wear something sexy to bed..or maybe nothing at all..Have sex in different places..Buy some adult toys, that you can use on each other..There are so many things you can do to spice up your marriage..
Hon..before looking on the outside..Let's try something new on the inside..You might be nicely surprised..
Don't give up so fast!
Good Luck!
2007-09-27 12:28:34 · answer #2 · answered by howdoilvthee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it will cause more problems than it will solve. Even if he never finds out, it will make things worse. Did you make a vow to your husband when you got married?
Marriage surely gives you a different view of your spouse. Marriage is more than just loveydovey-ness and lust. Your spouse is your financial partner, your house-cleaning partner, your child-rearing partner (if you choose to have children).
You need to learn to cherish and have an appreciation of these new roles of your husband, and learn to find those traits sexy. It will happen if you realize how much he loves you and what all he does for you.
That said, do something to renew some of the "hotness" of sex that was there before you were married. Get away for a weekend, go on a date once a week. Something like that could really help.
Just don't cheat. If you feel that is your only solution, then be honest with him and end the marriage.
2007-09-27 12:19:22 · answer #3 · answered by derek1079 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well been there done that and after 20 years it was divorce time. It's fun at first i am 41 and had a 21 year old sexy girlfriend but in the end my exwife and i have been back together for 2 years. The grass was no greener on the other side believe me.
2007-10-01 12:09:56 · answer #4 · answered by Flicking L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In most relationships, no. But I have friends who have an open relationship, where the husband & wife are each allowed to have one "side thing", where they're allowed to sleep with someone (it has to be a stranger) but it has to be only sex, no relationship is developed.
Before they got to that point, they sat down and spoke about it for a long time so that they both understood the rules. They agreed that it would not be a constant thing, probably only once or twice a year, and no outside relationship is developed.
It worked out great for them because they've been together 9 years and they say that their sex life is still great.
I guess it works if both partners come to an agreement and follow the rules of that agreement.
2007-09-27 12:17:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I don't think it would be such a great idea. What if he fell in love with the other person? That wouldn't be so great...and the grass isn't always greener on the other side. If somethings missing in your marriage, try to spice it up with something else beside bringing someone else into your life. What if you end up like this EJ chick that's on here...not to talk about someone else...but she's married, in the Army, and now pregnant with someone else's baby and doesn't know whether she should tell her husband about it.
My advice, you don't need a sancho, it won't help your marriage, it won't bring you happiness. If you aren't happy in your marriage, a new penis isn't going to help you, it will only pacify the situation.
2007-09-27 14:28:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it's really okay, why would you be asking us instead of him? Can't you just say, "I can't get everything I need from you any more, and I need to have a little something on the side."? If you can't say this to him, you already know it isn't good to have something on the side. You think it can be a healthy thing? If it makes trouble for your marriage, would that be healthy? Or do you really think you can keep it a secret and not make him suffer?
2007-09-27 12:16:42 · answer #7 · answered by robertspraguejr 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
What has cornflakes got to do with mutts? Honestly, I'm thinking our esteemed colleague is a dog food re-seller and after reading several of his posts (one which stated feeding eggs to a dog would make it prone to pancreatitis) I'm actually finding this funny. Anyway, this topic is overdone - yet here I am. So, hybrid vigor? I dunno what that means, I will have to read Peanuts post when I have time. My simple answer: take two dogs - lets say a Doberman and a Lab - both are carriers of genetic problems such as cardio, bone etc and whack them together . Do you get a better dog? Not necessarily. The recessives combine and whether they result in healthier dog or just a very ugly sick dog - I don't think it can be summarily defined. I think its fair to state simply outcrossing two different breeds won't guarantee superdogs. Having said that, pure bred dogs are filled with genetic problems. Its not a question that can be answered in absolute terms.
2016-04-06 04:24:35 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definately not a good idea and also not a good reflection on your marriage. I think its awful that you are viewing both of you having someone else as healthy, this is not healthy but a quite vivid picture of things that are going wrong. Talk to your husband and if things still dont work out as you want them, divorce and start again, dont do it whilst still together, its a lot of pain for a few hours of gain.
2007-10-01 11:38:03 · answer #9 · answered by chaz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having a Poly relationship can work, but it needs to be a consensus between both parties involved. You get different needs filled from different people.
I am so sick of all the don't do that you signed on for better or worse people. That is a crock, no one needs to put up with needs not being fulfilled. Go out and get what you need if your mate isn't able or willing to do so.
There are many reasons to stay married, but that doesn't mean you don't need to be happy as well.
Talk to him and tell him what you need and what you want. Take a chance
Oh by the way, any smart woman or man doesn't include for better or worse in their marriage vows. I don't have a problem with sickness or in health, but I know I won't stay in my marriage much longer if my hubby doesn't get his act together and treat me as I deserve.
I am worth more than that.
2007-09-27 14:17:28 · answer #10 · answered by Ruairi 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋