What are some funny things I can say to those annoying sellers that keep calling my house?

Question

You know, those people that keep calling to ask about what kind of services you have, to ask you to buy their products, and stuff. What kind of funny stuff can I say to them? Not inappropriate or stuff that will get me in trouble, but like stuff that will get them to stop calling. Like one time, this guy called us 4-5 times, and I told him if he calls me again asking for my TV service, I'll call the police. Stuff like that, but funnier.

Answer 1

Ask them if they know how to get the blood stains out of the carpet before the police get there.

Answer 2

Tell them you just declared bankruptcy last week and ask if they'll finance your purchase of whatever it is they want you to buy. (unless it's your bank calling, that may be a bad idea then)

For survey people, ask them if white supremacists can be included in this survey, then ask them what color they are, what religion they are, ask if they are homosexual, I've never gotten past those 3 questions to keep having fun with that one and get hung up on

I also used to just hand the phone off to one of my kids when they were toddlers, that one was fun, then the kid got to speak jibberish to someone, it was win win

Make like you're law enforcement at the home they just called investigating a crime scene. ask for all sorts of details about the caller

Answer 3

I usually keep them on the line for a long time without commiting to buy something and I keep saying, "I can't decide or I am on the fence here." They want to make a sale quickly and either want you to hang up on them or buy something from them in less than 3 minutes. So, if you keep them on the phone for over 5 minutes and keep repeating that you are interested but can't decide, they'll get real flustered. That in itself is funny and a victory.

Answer 4

MCI called my mother's while we were waiting for the funeral home to pick up my father's body. They wanted her to switch from Verizon. I told them it wasn't a good time. She said it would only take a minute. I told her my father had just died and we were waiting for the hearse. She said she'd "...call back tomorrow." And the ignorant woman did!
I use that when folks call me now. I ask them if they are asking for the SENIOR MR. XXXX. If they say yes, I tell them that he has passed away a bit ago and we are waiting for the funeral home to pick up his body. CLICK! hahaha

Answer 5

Ask them to speak louder what louder I can't hear you. I've gotten them to yell their sales pitch. Hold on a minute someones at the door - see how long they will actually wait.Ask them for their home # as you are busy at the moment.

Answer 6

I like the Jerry Seinfeld approach.

Start by saying that you are very interested. Then say that, if you could have the caller's home phone number, you can call at their dinner hour to talk about it some more.

(Then tell them to remove your number from their call list immediately.)

Answer 7

Tell them a sob story, like you can't afford it because you're spending all your money on hospital bills because you have a terminal disease. I bet they'll leave you alone.

Answer 8

Hey I am having a rough time loan me ten bucks.
use your best pnony accent and speak jibberish

Answer 9

keep turning the conversation around; try to sell them something. make up something silly (like a lava-powered blender).

keep doing it over and over.

Answer 10

Just keep repeating: I see dead people. I see dead people. They'll hang up first. Worked for me.