and yet takes only a small infraction on his/her part for that trust to crumble???
2007-09-27 10:58:45 · 5 answers · asked by MARIKIT 3 in Travel ➔ Asia Pacific ➔ Philippines
Sweetie, it doesn't really take forever...it just doesn't happen overnight. Trust, just like respect, is earned and so it's a gradual build-up...meaning to say you need to know a person quite well before you trust him/her. Hence, we are taught since childhood not to trust strangers (short of being paranoid, this is really for our own good esp. for minors who have yet to develop their cognitive skills).
Once you trust someone and if for whatever reason, he does you wrong (even just one time), trust is diminished. This is our natural defense mechanism at work. What happened was you are deeply hurt by his action and to keep the hurt to take a toll on yourself, your tendency is to "fool" yourself into believing that this person (who hurt you) is no longer trustworthy. In reality, however, trust is still there - only in an inactive state (silent mode) - and will again be restored once the aggrieved party is fully convinced that the action of the "guilty" party is unintentional.
Yes, it does take a while to trust someone but it does take an equally long time for that trust to totally crumble. When in doubt, search your heart.
2007-09-27 15:24:20 · answer #1 · answered by tin2 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I think we tend to Idealize TRUST too much. People usually don't lie just for the "heck of it" (& the ones that DO- tend to get exposed- pretty quickly). But due to our OWN Insecurities- we tend to put a LOT of stock in a person's Trustworthiness. As a result, it takes a LONG time for most of us to REALLY trust someone. SO; when someone we're grown to love & trust unexpectedly lies to us- for whatever reason, we take it PERSONALLY, & think they can't be "trusted" anymore. Is this "fair"- to either person??! -Probably not. To begin with, NOBODY'S perfect; and to EXPECT someone to be completely trustworthy- 100% of the time, borders on the insane. Because NONE of us are 100% ANYTHING! And THEN there's the matter of WHY that person "lied to us" in the first place... People who do things "out of context"- tend to do them for a pretty GOOD reason. And while YOU might not agree with that Reason, the other person might have felt it was justified- under whatever the circumstances were. So the bottom line IS, don't throw away a perfectly GOOD relationship because the other person makes an error in judgement- now and then. Really good Loves & Friendships- DON'T grow on trees. Try to see WHY the other person lied...- and don't hold it against them for the rest of their lives. -Let it go. ...Afterall, you NEVER KNOW if one day you might find yourself in a tight spot- wearing THEIR uncomfortable shoes!
2007-09-27 11:35:10 · answer #2 · answered by Joseph, II 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Earning someones trust varies from person to person.
This is most likely due to passed experiences by the
person. "Fool me once" mentality.
I have some friends who tend to trust me very easily
I guess cuz I am very open & have a reputation for being
an open book as well as a vicious truth-smacker.
I always ask people, would you rather people talk sh*t
behind your back, or be friends with me & I'll tell it to your
face.
To answer your sub-caption, the most difficult thing to
rebuild is trust. Its all a mental thing.
2007-09-27 11:12:04 · answer #3 · answered by babybeefcake 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe to some, it is hard to trust someone but in my experience I trust people easily. I always thought it is because I trust myself fully. I always have the confidence to myself that none will betray me although that doesn't happen all the time. But still, I never regret trusting and being betrayed...you know why? Because I trusted myself more than anything else...I hope you get it.
2007-09-27 15:44:32 · answer #4 · answered by guRl 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
For me, I easily trust people. If you break my trust, it would be very hard for the person to recover.
2007-09-27 12:21:01 · answer #5 · answered by ? 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋