Is it necessary to marry a woman who has children ?

Question

I keep hearing "If you're over thirty, and you want to get married, you have to marry somebody with children !" . Is this true ? Would EVERYBODY make a good stepparent ? Can ANYBODY inspire children to be respectful and obedient ? Whenever I've been in charge of children, they've usually decided I'm somebody they don't have to obey . Children won't obey somebody's rules if they don't want to, and they don't want to . I'd have to have my rules obeyed and respected, and children aren't obedient and respectful . If Mom has a second husband, Dad has a second wife, and everybody's making rules for the kids, isn't that "too many cooks in the kitchen" ?

Answer 1

Oh you don't HAVE to do anything you don't want to...

...yes, there are quite the number of 30-somethings who're looking for their second-marriages. But not all of 'em. And who says that you HAVE to marry someone of the some age? (I know lots of 30-somethings & 40-somethings who're dating very young partners in their 20's)

And you've brought up quite a few important issues for you when it comes to dealing with the children in this new relationship. (Those are things you'll have to discuss with your potential new partner)

If you just want that "instant-family" ... sure, g'head and marry someone with children.

But there's no "rule" that makes you date / marry anyone you don't choose to.

Answer 2

Interesting question!

I just started a new relationship with a man with an ex wife and a four year old. Even though I am not his parent, my boyfriend makes him respect me. We are in the South, so it is an obligation to say yes sir and ma'am. If he doesn't listen to what I say, then he gets in trouble. Of course, he has rules for daddy's and rules for mommy's house....and rules with me....However, they are all pretty similar! It is my hope that you all have an open relationship and you can talk about what rules might be the most important. A child needs to understand that he must respect adults. That means ANY adults. Not just mom and dad.....

Answer 3

Well relationships have a lot with supply and demand or should I like to say economics. What you are saying is more true than not because the demand for older women with children is less than a younger women with no children, so the younger ones have a bigger pool of guys to choose from, and 9 times out of 10 they will go out with someone who is close within age and since the probability of a women having children increases within age, than the probability of you going out with an older women with children increases due to the loss of demand for older men.

Answer 4

that sounds like too many cooks to me. eeesh. i think the stepparent thing usually causes so much havoc and drama in the adults' and children's lives that it makes for a very difficult time. there are plenty of women without children who don't have children.

Answer 5

Why marry her at all? Her children already have a name, and a father.
Help out as one is able seems worthwhile, unless she is dead set to have more children. Are you? The two broods will always be on a collision course.

Answer 6

I have a step daughter and what we have found to work is having "house rules" we posted them on the fridge and we just remind her that while she is at our house she must follow those rules. They also apply to our children.

Answer 7

who the heck are you talking to?
the 1st question is just too silly to respond to.

and no, not everyone makes a good parent, let alone a step parent.

stop listening to other people and go with whatever seems righ to you and what fits your life and lifestyle.

Answer 8

no thats the strangest advice i have heard. there are many single non parent over 30 good catches. if you dont want the extra attachements find other options. if you think you can handle it thats fine too.

Answer 9

you are right about your opinion but you are not have to marry who has children