How can I make him be okay with it or what can I say to reassure him that it doesnt matter to me. I've tried everything I can think of. Please help me. I love him so much and do not want to loose him because of his pride.
2007-09-27 09:42:52 · 8 answers · asked by tmw555 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You know, my husband has had the same job in 2 locations for years. I have made more than him, then less, then more, then MUCH more, then nothing. Tell him that.
Tell him, fine, I will not tell anyone what I make. (You never should mention such things to anyone, no matter who makes what) Tell him it's all both of yours when you get married. But if he can't deal with that, he needs to let you know now.
2007-09-27 09:47:02 · answer #1 · answered by WriterMom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would love to help by taking the excess money you make and putting you both on equal footing. I would gladly do this to save your relationship.
Bad news for him, he needs to let go of his pride. Good news for him, he has a woman who loves him.
Possible problems: he can't let it go and it creates too much stress in your life. If that happens then consider that he is not right for you because he has just placed his selfish needs ahead of you.
There are other things he can do. He can share in the household responsibilities. I try to do the laundry, clean the house, raise the children, and then cook her a delicious meal for when she comes home. Not really, but you can have him share duties and explain that it all goes for your common good. Get him to understand that a truly healthy relationship is one where each person works for the benefit of the other.
If not, the relationship will become too one sided and you will eventually start asking "why am I putting up with this?"
Relationships require contributions from one another to make them work. It doesn't neccessarily mean than one paycheck has to match the other. Find the right formula for you.
2007-09-27 17:19:13 · answer #2 · answered by morstar150 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When my husband and I got together I made more money than him for many years at one time I helped him pay his child support, truck payment, and a few other things. I tried not to make it a big issue, I saw potential in him and I did everything in my power to help him excel in what he wants to do with his life. We have been married 13 years now and it is finally coming back around him and I compete to see who can get the better raise each year and for right now he is in the lead and he does not forget the times I was there for him, he has made Christmas and my Birthday big events. If you can stick it through it will all come around, but I do know what you are going through just keep encouraging him and stay by his side as long as he wants to better himself.
2007-09-27 16:52:55 · answer #3 · answered by bigtrucks4x4s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you guys truly love each other, it shouldn't matter at all...to either one of you. I make more than my boyfriend and it's not an issue. He accepts that and we even joke about it. We're in two very different careers so it's expected. If he's not okay with it, then that's his problem. What are you going to do...go out there and find a job that pays you less??
2007-09-27 16:59:10 · answer #4 · answered by ne_gal81 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he has an ego issue about this, there really is not much that you can do. This is HIS issue, not yours. I've always earned more than my husband, and it has never been an issue between us. Ask HIM what he wants you to do to "fix" it. Maybe if you suggest something totally silly, like giving all the extra money to charity so it won't "come between you" he will realize that this is something that needs to be taken care of by just letting it go.
2007-09-27 16:48:13 · answer #5 · answered by Yahzmin ♥♥ 4ever 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't "make" him feel anything, and that's "lose" (not loose). If it's an issue to him no matter what you say, then it's his issue (and it's silly but some males still think they are supposed to earn more than their partner).
He has to decide it's not an issue...if it bothers him that much, then it kinda shows how little the relationship means to him (if money your salary is more of an issue, than your importance to him).
2007-09-27 16:47:12 · answer #6 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Age? No idea.
So if you make more than him and he doesn't like it, then don't let him see it.
Think about your future. Your future being singular. Take the difference in income and start a savings account or investment plan. Even if he starts making more than you never change the amount you invest unless you add more.
If you stay together for ever he will be happy later in life because you thought ahead and your golden years will be easier.
If you do not stay with him, then you will be taking care of yourself for future years.
Most relationships and marriages end due to financial situations.
Take care of number one first.
2007-09-27 16:56:44 · answer #7 · answered by wcs_n_ms 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why should the amount of money you each make mtter if you love each other!! (that should be the question you should ask)!!
2007-09-27 16:53:51 · answer #8 · answered by mnm16685 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋