Why do I start talking like the people I'm with??

Question

I was a speech major in college and abhor filler words such as "like", "whatever", "you know," etc. I eat lunch with a group of girls at work who are a little younger than me and talk like valley girls: "Like, oh my god, I TOTALLY cried at the end of The Hills last night and whatever!" Inevitably I end up talking like them, which drives me crazy! Why does this happen and how can I avoid it?

These are interesting responses so far and it reminded me that my husband (who grew up in the country but now is a white collar city dweller) starts saying "reckon" and "yee-up" when we go to see his family! I guess it is a "need to fit in" instinct. :)

Answer 1

Sometimes when you hang around a group of people constantly, their personalities, way of speaking, mannerisms etc become yours.

It's not necessarily that you want to be like them, but sort of an adaptation to the environment. It's completely normal.

I think to avoid it, just be conscious of what you are saying and how you are saying it.

Answer 2

It's tough to do. I think there's a subconscious compulsion to emulate the people you're with. EXAMPLE: My wife had two African-American roommates who were very intelligent and spoke perfect English -- most of the time. When they were hanging around with their fellow African-American classmates, however, their speech was DRASTICALLY different. Heck, I have noticed that I have a tendency to use four-letter words more when hanging around with my old friends from school, and I work in a law office where swearing is a major taboo. Granted, I don't swear as much as they do, but I normally don't use those words at all. See how easy it is to slip?

Answer 3

You mean I'm not the only one who does this? I feel better, I inheritted it from my dad who would start talking with an Irish accent if he talked with our Irish neighbors long enough. I think it's a sign a compliment of immitation, the highest form of flattery. When I had Russian friends I'd start takling with a Russian accent and say stuff in Russian. i would get freaked out and worry that they thought I was making fun of them. I just love the language and how it sounds. I'm like a damn parrot around people! No wonder I don't have any friends ;0)

Answer 4

Hahaha that's a good question. I have a friend that lived in Scotland for a 5 years (starting when he was 25) and now that he's back he has a mild Scottish accent. At first we thought he was just kidding but he somehow acquired it just from living there.

So I guess I'm not answering your question but I'm just verifying that it is true. Perhaps it comes from the need/want to fit in?

Answer 5

I think it is just a form of fitting it, it is natures way of camouflage. My brother who grew up in California and settled in the South now speaks with a southern accent. It is easy to fall into the ways of others as a way of fitting in so to speak no pun intended. I fall into the same thing to when I interact with younger people. I also fit in with more intelligent people because I am highly educated and can hold a conversation with intelligent people too.

Answer 6

My sister does it, I do a little. My son [ and his brother and two boy cousins, to a lesser extent ] does it really well.
One Christmas, between them they got three Monty Python tapes, and 'The Yellow Submarine' so they all were Cockneys for about five days.
When he went to Mexice, he talked to the dogs and cats in a Spanish - American accent [!] so 'they would understand him better'.
Even our cats [ when they make voices for them ] have different voices with accents = Alpha is Elmo; and Beta is a cross between the Count and all the Draculas.

Answer 7

I wonder, if you were with a group of southerners, would you then have their accent? Or with a group of Aussies? I prefer not to look at it as though, your just trying to be like them, I think it means that you have a creative open mind and fit in easily. Why avoid it? If it is happening naturally, its just you!!

Answer 8

You're influenced by the people around you, including speech. I'm the same way. I talk in at least ten different ways depending on who I'm talking with. I even one time had a redneck accent. I think we do it subconsciously to blend in.

Answer 9

Like Carson Daily on the old TRL would all of a sudden be "down like james brown" when he spoke to black celebrities and around Limp Bizkit he was "totally rock on dude"

Answer 10

I do the same thing sometimes. I just have to watch myself. I once started speaking with a Spanish accent, then I thought, wait a minute, you dont even speak Spanish cut it out. I didnt dump my Spanish friends, I just paid attention to how I was accustomed to speaking