I am married and am not in love with him and havent been. Dont ask why I got married cause i dont know. It is my second marriage we have only been married for 6 mths. Well i really like this other guy and we have been talking for about 2 mths and things are serious but anyway i would like to know if im in the wrong by staying with my husband till i get out of school so we can get some things payed off while im in school. My husband is gone every other week and there is just nothing at all there.
2007-09-27 07:27:16 · 16 answers · asked by Amanda O 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You should be by yourself for a long time and figure out how to respect people, including yourself. Why would you marry someone you never lovved in the first place. Get a divorce and let this poor man get on with his life--- without you!!! There is no point in making him miserable just for your benefit.
2007-09-27 07:45:13 · answer #1 · answered by Brandie 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Amanda, I can really sense your loss of feelings for your husband. First, you have to decided where your real feelings are, and what it is about the needs you have that your husband or rather - your marriage is not giving to you. I would tend to bet that there is a lack of attention from your husband, which is why you have let your feelings drift away from the marriage. That is understandable, however, it is also not the right thing to do. From my own personal experience, what your doing is self-destructing your own feelings about the relationship you have with your husband, and by sharing your feeings and emotions with this other man, your not doing yourself any justice.
If you continue in this path, sooner or later your husband is going to find out about this other man. You will find it easier and a lot less stressfull if your are open and honest with your husband right now. Tell him how your feeling about the marriage and either move on or choice to make it work.
I don't pass judgment on others as right or wrong - each situation is unique, and only you can decide if what your doing is right or wrong. However, consider this - if you have to ask the question, then you probably already know the answer.
I've been in a similar situation that your in, and I choose to make my marriage work out. It is not easy and certainly takes commitment, but in the end, our marriage has proven to be more healthy with honesty and communication. We are a much happier couple these days.
We need to walk through a storm to find the rainbow and at times life can be hard and unfair, but it is in the choices that we have that can change all of that in the blink of an eye.
Good Luck!
2007-09-27 07:42:50 · answer #2 · answered by Just Life, Trying To Live It. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, you are wrong. you knew you were wrong before you asked. A marriage is a marriage, and you are an adultress. If you never loved him, you never should have married him. I bet you still tell him that you love him dont you? It's wrong to use people. You need to tell him how you feel, before this guy wastes too much time on you. He's obviously very responsible, and is a good provider. Most men are stingy with their money, so just the fact that he's paying for your schooling shows he cares for you, and you're wrong for playing on that. The other guy is a peice of crap too. what kind of man is willing to take another mans wife? he has no respect. And I'll bet he'll be gone once he gets bored of you. not to mention the fact that he sees what you're doing to your husband, and will probably asume that you are a liar, a cheater, and a greedy little brat, so, he'll never trust you and the chances of him staying with you much less marrying you are zero to uh...zero. Good luck paying your own rent! leave before you get knocked up!!!
2007-09-27 07:39:27 · answer #3 · answered by AgirlnamedAng 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you feel guilty about it, it's wrong. when you're in a marriage, no matter what, you should never let yourself stray. you don't get to do that after you say i do. getting married is a decision. if you aren't happy, you separate or get divorced and then "talk" to other people. No matter how badly you want to, you don't get the option to look elsewhere for a better partner. It's not about you and you being happy, it's about making the marriage work. There is no I in marriage, only we. If you can't accept all of this, you shouldn't enter into another marriage. Just get divorced, date this new guy (don't marry him), and enjoy being single and dating different people.
2007-09-27 07:33:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You don't know why you got married? Didn't you learn the first time? Staying with him would be using him. Does he know that things are not working out? You need to get yourself together and quit getting married. You did not even give this marriage a chance. Be honest and leave him now.
2007-09-27 07:37:36 · answer #5 · answered by kim h 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
How can you even ask that question? Of course is wrong! You shouldn't even try getting into another relationship because it seems like you don't even know what a relationship is about. Married 6mo for a 2nd time and you are already wanting to be with a 3rd person? What kind of morals do you have? Do you have any? How would you feel if someone used you like that?
2007-09-27 07:34:21 · answer #6 · answered by why ask 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You are disrespecting him. Let him know what is going. See how he feels about being used while you are running off with some other guy... probably husband number three? Let me tell you this, if your next marriage comes from an affair, it will be tainted and the guy will never trust you. give yourself years to find out who you are before putting another man through this
2007-09-27 07:44:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Taking financial advantage of your husband is bad, but setting yourself on the path to a third failed marriage before your second one's officially ended is worse. If you "don't know" why you got married, then you need to figure it out, along with why you'd give up after only four months, before you get "serious" with anyone else.
2007-09-27 07:37:12 · answer #8 · answered by MM 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to a therapist and find out why you keep going from relationship to relationship because until you do you're never going to stay with one guy. Look at you, you've already been divorced once, only been married to hubby #2 for 6 months and already are contemplating a way to move on to man #3.
Find out why you're attracted to men who don't work for you long term. Find out what it is that is going on with you.
Get some help.
2007-09-27 07:39:53 · answer #9 · answered by Saphira 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
nicely I do think of that 18 is incredibly youthful to be getting married. I advise think of with regard to the way you have been 5 years in the past at 13 and think of approximately how lots as replaced. Now are you able to think of the place you would be at on your lifestyles once you're 23? probable a international different. Getting married so youthful can impact you in different procedures besides. as an occasion in case you have plans to bypass to school being married will definitely cut back to rubble your opportunities for monetary help. seeing which you would be indexed as a twin earnings, and as maximum underwater welders do make an outstanding volume of funds (now not something too specific) you will probable now not be waiting to acquire any choose-based scholarships, materials and whatnot. in spite of the indisputable fact that in case you do now not plan to bypass to school getting married so youthful may additionally produce different down facets. I examine a piece of writing in Cosmo that stated the possibilities of having divorced very much cut back the longer you have been alongside with your companion and the older you're once you get married. do now not you prefer to supply your self each and every attainable benefit whilst getting married, such as waiting till you have been collectively longer and are older? in basic terms for the sake of argument nonetheless, there could be some reward to you the two getting married. As you stated he's thinking taking over an extremely risky pastime getting married could help safeguard your self interior the form of something tragic happening. If he have been to unfastened his lifestyles on the pastime as his lady chum you would be entitled to now not something, whether you have been such as him for fifty years with out the criminal status of being married you may get now not something. while as his spouse you could probable get some lifestyles insurance or different repayment have been something undesirable to take place. yet another benefit marriage would desire to deliver is medical wellness insurance. If he's entitled to reward at his pastime in case you marry him you will acquire the comparable or a minimal of comparable wellness, dental, optical, and so forth. this is evidently assuming which you have now not any insurance on the instant and that his pastime provides those reward.
2017-01-02 18:29:04 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋