i'm 22 and i'm not feeling the passion towards my boyfriend of 4 years....he feels it for me. i know we love eachother and i know he'll be a great husband someday...but im afraid if there is no passion at this age, it'll only be worse later. what is more important passion or comfort?
2007-09-27 07:08:08 · 27 answers · asked by sharimonk 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It will get worse; however, women excel at sneaky sex and you can find a lover for passion; and, if you are careful, your husband will never know.
2007-09-27 07:18:24 · answer #1 · answered by John 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If those are the only terms you're using, then comfort is more important in the long run. At the tender age of 22 you have no idea about what the world is about to throw your way. Right now your passion would have you bent over a chair by your lover. In the years to come you'll want that true friend and companion in the chair beside you. Have your passion now while you can, but don't ruin this man with marriage followed by infidelity. Maybe he'll make a great husband for someone else while you rest over the arm of that chair for a few years.
2007-09-27 07:49:47 · answer #2 · answered by noshaymatall 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
4 yrs can do a lot to passion, of course it isn't the same as it was in he beginning. Passion comes and goes, can you be comfortable with that? You say he will make a great husband one day, do you want to stay around to see that? There is more to a marriage than passion. Comfort is what most of us want for long term, 50 yrs from now i don't care if there is physical passion as long as my husband has been passionate about the way he loves me. you can always spark passion, it doesn't take much except for a thought of what you want and the imagination to find how to get it. If you can't then the problem is you, not him since you said he still feels passionate towards you.
2007-09-27 07:26:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey - being comfortable is a wonderful feeling with the person you love and it comes from being familiar. Passion is high when you are in the beginning of a relationship and somehow we let it slip away. We get too involved with life and forget that we have to work on relationships to keep them exciting. It happens to everyone. Think of different things you both can do to keep it exciting. Remember why you fell in love with him. Make sure that you always communicate. Plan little things to do alone - try new things sexually. Be affectionate always. If you have been with him for 4 years and you are only 22 could it be that he is really the only serious relationship you have had and you are bored? If he is a good man - hang on to him and just work at it!!!! Good luck!
2007-09-27 08:09:49 · answer #4 · answered by Babycat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, considering your so comfortable with him...you should tell him how you feel. Over time passion disappears over and over again. A relationship is hard enough as it is, but working on finding new passions together is one of the benefits of a long term relationship. I think you two will be just fine. Btw, comfort and passion are both very important. Good luck.
2007-09-27 07:13:47 · answer #5 · answered by bowlingshoes12 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Both are important. You may just be too young to be seriously passionate. Is he your first serious boyfriend? I had this experience at your age. We married, but there wasn't any passion after awhile. It was like being with my brother. He was comfortable to be around, a nice guy, but no passion and we both agreed we needed to divorce. We realized we were just inexperienced and in hindsight we also were incapable of truly appreciating each other. You should ask how he feels...Good luck..
2007-09-27 07:24:29 · answer #6 · answered by LoraC 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in the Same exact boat!! It is like the 4 year mark, it seemed to be the hardest, and around that time I was not a perfect g/f, did some things I regret, because much like your b/f he is a wonderfull person and who have never done to me what I did to him.... so I understand your questioning of the realtionship
And It won't be worse later! It gets better, it's just the turning point and every relationship goes through patches. My b/f and I have been together for almost 8 years now. and I love him more than ever, and each and everyday it grows and grows.
but like I said it was around the 4th year, where I was getting bored and I was like is this really what I want??
I would stick it out, maybe try something different together. buy some porn, start going camping, take walks.... think positively!
2007-09-27 07:15:46 · answer #7 · answered by abs 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As sad as it sounds if you've already lost it at your young (and energetic) age it will probably just get worse. I'm sure he would make a great husband but that's not reason enough to stay around. You BOTH deserve someone who is equally passionate to each other. If you really love him you need to let him go find that person and then go find it yourself. Life is short...too short to live without passion in it. I waited until 30 to get married...passed on a lot of GREAT guys (even one seriously hot rich guy that my BF's thought was perfect for me) because I waited until I found my best friend, most passionate lover and spiritual equal. It was SO worth it. We have a great marriage. You deserve the same. I know its hard but in the long run he will thank you for letting him go to find someone who wants him as much as he wants her.
2007-09-27 07:16:27 · answer #8 · answered by sweetassgal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If there is no passion now, there probably never will be. If it is that important to you, why have you stayed with him for 4 years?
Different people want different things out of a relationship. I want both passion and comfort.
2007-09-27 07:11:38 · answer #9 · answered by nurse ratchet 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
In my view passion is really important. I need to constantly be inlove with the man besides me, if I am not I end up by leaving him sooner or later. There must be passion and love at least in the first few years, otherwise someday you will feel the need to leave or just fall inlove with someone else
2007-09-27 07:11:09 · answer #10 · answered by larissa 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The most important question is how to get the passion back. I have been married for 21 years and it is always a work in progress. good luck
2007-09-27 07:10:45 · answer #11 · answered by hawks714 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋