Do think im being selfish im 23 years old and married with 2 young children i went on holiday with my friend for a week with out my kids or husband because he didnt mind me going.My friend as asked me if i would like to go again next year ive asked my husband but he says im selfish and i cant go.I wouldnt mind but he doesnt work its me who works long hours every week and when im not working he goes out and i take care of the kids and the house work.We are planning on going away as a family in 2009 when my youngest is abit older.
2007-09-27 07:06:23 · 50 answers · asked by nicola r 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't think you're selfish at all.
If you are the one paying for the vacation, then you should be able to go whenever you want to. Ask your friend if she would mine if you took the kids next year and leave your ungrateful hubby at home alone.
2007-09-27 07:10:05 · answer #1 · answered by Jennield 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I don't think its a question of being selfish or not but I wonder if he is just a bit upset because you would rather holiday without him and the children. We don't have families to get away from them, do we? Or maybe its just me! Suggest a compromise e.g. you both get one long weekend away on your own with friends and then have a family holiday as well. When you say he doesn't work, does he look after the children? If so, then he is probably working harder than any person with paid employment! Anyway, its a question of getting the right balance. You both need to think about a long weekend away together without the kids too - that will be good for your marriage and great for you both!
2007-09-27 11:13:18 · answer #2 · answered by AUNTY EM 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your roles in the marriage are basically reversed. You support the family financially while he’s a house-husband (and that’s work too). There’s nothing wrong with that, but if the roles weren’t reversed and you were a *man* saying, “Because I work hard, I feel like I deserve a vacation every year without my wife and kids” the answers you get would be entirely different. People would be responding with a resounding, "Yes, that's selfish".
You’re a married woman with children. It’s not just about you anymore. There are other people to consider and if you can’t give their feelings/needs equal consideration to your own, then yes, you’re being selfish.
So here’s a fair solution--you got a week vacation with your friends this year, so next year HE gets a week vacation with his buddies.
2007-09-27 07:54:18 · answer #3 · answered by kp 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He may be feeling a little insecure about you getting involved with somebody else while your away. I've been called selfish too when I go out and do some volunteer work one afternoon a week.
I spend most of my time at home and do my fair share too.
I don't think you are being too selfish. I don't believe that you should live out of each others pockets all of the time and I think we all need a break from time to time. I am a little concerned about how your children will feel while your gone though. This should be about your children and how they feel. They take priority.
2007-09-27 07:17:44 · answer #4 · answered by Trevor D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I don't think you are selfish if you work and he stays at home and then you also do your share there. Maybe it's just because you just went and it seems like it's not a whole year away. OR maybe you should just talk to him about a family vacation before the child gets older. It's ok to keep your friends and you are still young. BUT you are also a mother and wife. I don't think it's selfish though.
2007-09-27 07:13:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know sweetheart as soon as I read your message I just knew from what you've said that your a loving, kind and caring mother and really beautiful person. I think that you should make the most of your time away, don't feel guilty about leaving your kids.
After all it's you who's got them most of the time right? and I'm sure that your husband should understand WHY you need the time alone, it's gotta be really stress full being a full time mom. At 23 years old you should be able to have that smile put on your face every once in a while.
Much love and respect
And hope that you decide to go for it
xx
2007-09-27 07:10:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes, you may be a bit selfish. You say you work. Okay. But your husband doesn't? It sounds like he stays home with the children. So that's work too, right? If this was a man asking your question, it would have a whole different set of answers I bet. I say go on vacation together, hire a babysitter, and enjoy time together.
2007-09-27 07:41:35 · answer #7 · answered by LoraC 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
would you be happy with your hubby having a Holiday abroad with out you every year? A few years ago, my hubby was invited away, so I just turned the question back on him, he then said NO he wouldn't like me to Holiday without him, so I said, there's your answer about your Holiday question then? He agreed, and some years later when a female friend asked me, I said no and why? I always feel separate holidays bad news. Why wait til children are older, holidays whilst their young are hard work, but great fun too.
2007-09-30 04:56:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no a break is needed from time to time but in stead of going for a week at a time with her every year.....why don't you just take some 3 day weekends all during the year and get some rest....that does help on a marriage to get away from the kids some times...but also you and hubby should get away alone for some time too...you don't have to have the kids with you 24/7 now when the are older they will enjoy going even after our kids got older me and wife always took time alone in the summer to go some where....good luck
2007-09-27 07:13:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No your not being selfish!
girls holiday once a year is a fab thing to do!
what is it your hubby has had a taste of looking after the kids and how hard it all is, thats why he doesnt want you going again next year!! lol :) You did say he didnt mind you going in the first place, so something has changed.
2007-09-27 07:10:35 · answer #10 · answered by Jemmax 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think its fine for you to stay gone an entire week. I think HE should get to do the same. He doesnt work? Im sure the person you have to HIRE to watch your kids during the week he is gone would love being paid to "not work". I dont think you are being selfish, but you may be taking him for granted a bit. He is likely doing the same( taking off as soon as you walk in the door). Im just saying, offer him a week to himself and maybe his accusations of selfishness will stop. good-luck.
2007-09-27 07:15:21 · answer #11 · answered by undone 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋