My wife refuses to talk to me, what should I do?

Question

My wife and I have been going through a very difficult time over the last several months. She is a stay at home mom to our 17 month old twin girls, and I have a home office. As you can imagine, it's not easy calling clients when there are two babies crying in the background! So it creates tension between us. And the other night we got into a big fight. We used every name in the book, she threw some things at me off the counter, and I kicked her in the asss soccer style. That was Tuesday night and she's still not speaking to me. I sleep on the couch and we bascially ignore each other. I want to try and repair what is obviously broken, but I'm sick of always being the one trying to fix things. I feel like we're failing our kids and each other, and it sucks. So should I insist on trying to talk to her and reason with her? Or wait until she's willing to come to me? Willing to wait, but not looking forward to another 3-4 days of not speaking and dragging this out.....

Answer 1

I think you need an "out of home office". I think you may also want to stop kicking your wife in the a** "soccerstyle" or you may end up behind bars "doggystyle".

Answer 2

Marriage is such a difficult thing to keep going today. With two twin girls, it;s even harder. I don't know how long you two have been together, but you both need time for togetherness, without the twins; so you two can talk things out. Since you used physical violence, which is a big no-no, you should tell her from your heart that you are truly sorry. Proverbs chapter 15 verse 22 says "There is a frustrating of plans where there is no confidential talk." Get a babysitter, go somewhere quiet, and do some realy, from the heart, talking. A marriage will fail without communication. That includes how you want to raise your girls, what you want from your marriage, and how much you truly love each other. A good place to find answers that really work is in the Bible. To get some free help, talk to one of Jehovah's Witnesses, they'll be glad to help, without being nosy.

Answer 3

Suck it up and be the first to apologize. Kicking her in the butt whether as a "joke" or not wasn't nice. I realize that throwing things at you wasn't too mature either, but someone has to make the first move. Never let the sun go down on your anger, it only makes it harder to work things out. the two of you need to set some ground rules. about your working at home and about how you settle your differences. Doing business while there are screaming babies is not professional, however, if there is nowhere for her to go with the children, and you aren't going to get an office outside of the house, then you need to compromise. like maybe you could help her calm the babies down before you call your client. I raised twins, and it's very demanding having 2 little ones wanting you at the same time. Sounds like you need to be a little more involved with the kids. the only way your going to have a perfect situation is to wait to make your calls while the babies are sleeping. If you're so wrapped up in your business, you could be neglecting the fact that your wife could use a little help with the girls.

Maybe the two of you could use some counselling to resolve the situation. Also, sounds like your wife could use some time to herself once in awhile. Ever think about offering to stay home with the kids so she can go get her hair done or get a manicure?

Answer 4

I consider Jessy and others, you have got misplaced her already. It's very rough while a pair are married and reside aside. My husband labored away and it virtually ended our marraige too. You have got to begin taking possession of the connection or you'll become with not anything. At the second she's the only within the using seat. Send her an allowance each and every month, ample to pay the hire/loan costs meals and many others... and maintain the relaxation for your self. Stop calling her so usually, check out calling as soon as every week, she's going to quickly marvel why you are no longer calling as so much and her angle toward you can also difference. Give it a time frame (say 6 months) and if mothing alterations then you can also have got to face the truth that the harm is finished and it is time to transfer on. Good good fortune.

Answer 5

You and your wife seem to respond to conflict by displaying violent behaviour, this in no way is the way to resolve conflict and it is the first thing you both need to fix. Abusive words and physical abuse for any reason is wrong and should be stopped. Behaviour such as this has a way of killing any love or friendship that ever existed between two people. After a while no matter how many "I'am sorry" are said, it is too late and hard to repair the damage the hurtful words and physical abuse has already created. The main point here should not be who approaches whom first, but to seek the help you both obviously need so that this type of behaviour is not repeated. Talk to your wife, tell her you both have a problem and then suggest therapy or anger management and see what she says. If she continues to not talk to you, then just say to her, "since you are refuseing to speak with me I have no way of knowing where you stand with the idea I have presented to you so I will take this as your way of not agreeing to go. I do intend to seek help with or without you as I so regret the horrible words and abuse that I have inflicted upon you and I need to also find ways to deal with feelings of being hurt by your behaviour towards me also. If you change your mind please let me know"....Then do just that, look for a professional to help out and even if you need to go alone do so. This at least will get the ball rolling. Best of luck to you!

Answer 6

If you wait for a woman to come and talk to you first you will be waiting a long time. If you love her than you are the one wrong:) Thats what my husband says. Its harder when you have kids especially when you are with each other 24-7. She needs a break from everything and you need a break too. Send the kids to grannys house and you guys get out of the house. Just ask her" are you coming or not?" Tell her you guys should run away from home for a night and get a hotel room out of town with a jacuzzi and have fun. Good luck

Answer 7

One: For you to kick her @$$ (in a soccer style) and using every name in the book ...right there your relationship has hit rock bottom. The only thing at this point is counseling and both of you must go into it 100% no less. Swallow your pride en' get ya' asss in bed, be nice, apologise from there bring up counseling topic you know your wife good you will know if she is 100% willing to save this hanging on a string relationship. If you fail to do the above I will kick your @$$ wrestling style.

Answer 8

So, "you" get mad because "your" babies cry during working hours?

Guess what, you are being a jerk! What do you expect babies to do? On top of that your wife is struggling to take care of these two bundles of energy and she sees you sitting there talking on the phone all day. She probably resents it.

If you love your wife and family then do something about it and stop kicking her. You need to take some scheduled breaks during your workday to help out and be involved with your kids lives. After all you have this luxury of being able to work from home.

Another suggestion may be to move your office out until the kids are older.

Answer 9

givin, im not married, and i have my issues with my girlfriend but, what i would suggest out of what ive been learning lately...go to her and simply appologize for the stuff you know you did wrong, no matter what reason you did it for. or maybe write a little note appologizing, then tell her you love her on the same note. Hide the note somewhere you know she will find it, then let her come to you. That way you are not giving up but you are also not conceding everything. Its not really an issue with pride its just a matter of the only thing you can ever really fix is you. a relationship takes both people fixing not just one, but you want to give her the chance. she may just need to see that you have taken time to consider her point of view even if you dont agree with it.

Answer 10

You wrote that " she threw some things at me off the counter". Did she hit you with anything? Has she been violent in the past and assaulted you or your kids? If neither of you have ever had a physical confrontation with each other use what happened as a sign that one or both of you may need help. Arguing is considered healthy by a lot of Doctors and counsellors, hitting each other is illegal, at least in CA. Did she apologize for throwing things at you? Did you apologize to her or has it been the silent treatment since your Pele impression?

Answer 11

Wait, you get stressed out because of babies crying and then kicked your wife?

1. find an office outside of the house, even if you have to go buy a cuppa joe at Starbucks.

2. take those girls for a night and give your wife a break.

3. you're lucky she's still with you because I wouldn't be.