I was engaged, and got pregnant. Shortly after I got pregnant, we had some difficulties, with him lying to me, and I didn't feel I could trust him. I told him we needed time apart. He said he didn't want time apart, that he loved me, and wanted to be with me, and only me. He says that he's heartbroken, and wants to work things out, but he won't contact me. When I contact him, he gets angry, and shuts down. Now he won't return my phone calls, im's, text messages, nothing. I'm just starting my 5th month of pregnancy, and he doesn't seem to care about me or the baby. (Having kids was HIS idea, but he never really showed any kind of emotion about it when I got pregnant.) What should I do? Should I write him off? I do love him, very much...
2007-09-27 06:31:39 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm not concerned about getting married later in life. I'm already a divorced mother. (my daughter is 10) I have a very good job, and supporting this baby will not be a problem.
2007-09-27 07:10:14 · update #1
Forget him; he is sending you messages loud and clear that it is over between you. Do what is best for you, him, and the child. Give the baby up for adoption.
The baby will be far better off in a stable and loving two parent family and as a single mom you will be greatly handicapped in getting married. Being a single mom is like wearing a neon sign saying, "I'm an easy lay" and, while there are a lot of desperate men that will marry you anyway, you will have to lower your standards because most young guys will see you as having too much baggage.
2007-09-27 06:55:56 · answer #1 · answered by John 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
What he is saying and what he is doing are not the same thing. Someone who loves you and wants to be with you, will return your calls and texts. Maybe he was telling you what he thought you wanted to hear, and now that the reality of a baby on the way is staring him in the face, he can't accept it.
You aren't doing yourself or your baby any favors if you get back with him and he isn't really 100 percent ready for you and the commitment to to baby.
What you need to focus on is having a healthy pregnancy, and contacting an attorney to get him on board to support your baby when he/she arrives. You can't do this alone, and if he isn't going to be there, he needs to help you out financially.
Congratulations on the baby and I hope that everything works out for you.
2007-09-27 13:39:15 · answer #2 · answered by Angiej1213 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you are having a child together, I would not write him off just yet. Give him a little time and space, then ask him out. Go somewhere where you can talk about your future and the future of your baby.
You owe it to your child to try and make it work. However, do not stay in a relationship that is not good for you.
2007-09-27 13:35:55 · answer #3 · answered by nurse ratchet 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that it is time to let him go. Think about the baby that you will soon bring into this world. There are so many single parents who do well with out the other person. Also take him to court and get child support. If he was man enough to make a baby then he is man enough to support that baby whether he is with you or not. Be strong and let him go, I know its easy for me to say but once you get past letting him go it will be a breeze
2007-09-27 13:40:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This does not sound good sweetie. You deserve to be loved, adored, to be able to trust your partner and to be respected. If he really had any of these qualities invested in you and your baby he would let NOTHING stand in the way of being there to love and support you. Him saying he wants to be with you then not returning your calls is a mixed message saying he's really not sure what he wants. Cut your losses and find someone who will put you and your baby first in their life. They are out there...just be patient.
2007-09-27 13:39:58 · answer #5 · answered by sweetassgal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that when you said that you needed a break in hit him hard. Men find change hard they like to keep it simple and to there liking.
Maybe he wanted a baby but it has only just hit him that he will be responsible for another persons life and that a child is a life comitment.
Maybe he just needs time i know 5 months is a long time for it to sink it but you might need to reasure him that you two are strong as a couple and that when you have your baby you will be a loving family.
But if his not ready for a family and the responsiblity remember that your the on carring the baby and need to think of the stress and your little one.
i hope this help as me and my partner went threw it when we had our baby but we are still togther and our baby is 8 months now.
2007-09-27 13:40:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Evidently he isn't all that excited about being a father...He isn't serious about wanting to be with you and about the fact of being all heartbroken..If he truly was he would answer his damn phone and return your calls. Write him off...you and the baby would be better off without his sorry butt.
2007-09-27 13:36:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Write him off, get ready to declare him the father and ask the courts for child support, and expect nothing from this "player" but evasiveness, deceit, and immaturity.
You have been taken. Get smart now.
2007-09-27 13:36:21 · answer #8 · answered by hls 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Early signs of a doomed relationship, sorry but been there...if I were you I would take care of the beautiful baby and get the child support from him and move on with my life and find a man that deserves you!! :)
2007-09-27 13:34:59 · answer #9 · answered by firecracker 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
You asked for time apart....he gave that to you...and now u have a problem with it....his live has probably moved on....
becareful what you ask for ... you just may get it
sounds to me like to got exactly what you wanted...why are u crying in the spilt milk now???
2007-09-27 13:46:15 · answer #10 · answered by sunbun 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋