How often do you have a "girls night out" with your friends? And do you ever find yourself feeling guilty about going out while your husband is home with the kids? Is your husband supportive of this or does he get angry or upset when you plan something. For me, my husband is very supportive of my night out with the girls and we only get together maybe once a month or maybe even once every two months. But I have noticed that my friends husbands are not as supportive. They tend to complain about having to watch the kids or they think that it is silly to want to go out with friends instead of being home with them watching t.v. or something. I don't understand why some guys act like this. Does anyone else face this problem with either your husband or your friends husbands? And please be honest!
2007-09-27 05:29:27 · 17 answers · asked by hazeleyes1279 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
When my friends and I go out it is usually to the movies for a chick flick something the fellas would not want to see or bowling or something like that. We don't go to bars or clubs at all. I think we are all beyond that. And we do schedule couple dates for all of us to go out to a comedy club or dinner. And we plan play dates with the kids on saturday mornings to give our husbands time to do what they want. Thats why I don't understand why they tend to be upset over this.
2007-09-27 05:49:47 · update #1
I am totally supportive of my husband going out with his friends although he doesn't do it too often. But one of my friends husband is always going out to play basketball with friends or going to someones house and at times not even asking my friend if it is ok. Thats why I think that he shouldn't say anything when she decides to go out with us and lets him know like a month in advance. It just doesn't seem fair in my opinion.
2007-09-27 06:08:09 · update #2
Certainly, you don't need to listen to what your husband's friends think or say. You have no reason to feel guilty.
Whether or not you have a girl's night out is established in your own relationship. Your husband SUPPORTS your night out with the girls because you do not abuse the freedom and trust he gives you. And I believe that you two have an honest and genuine relationship that you should both be proud of. Your husband is not only a great husband, but a loving father, and understands that you needs some time alone with the "girls" so that you can be a productive member of the family. Without the night outs every once in a while, you might get burned out. Just always remember to repay him the favor so that no hard feelings are felt.
Those other husbands either don't trust their wives or don't like watching the kids alone, and that is the root of their problems, NOT YOU.
Don't forget that every relationship if different. Some people have hobbies or interests that both couples may not enjoy. An example: Coaching baseball. You can't expect the couples to go to every game. Some people are homebodies, given a choice to go out to the movies or stay home and watch a dvd, they'd rather stay home. Is it fair for the one who enjoys going to movies to give it up? It's healthy for that person to go out the movies. More than likely, it's going to be a lot less than before the relationship.
Relationships are about give and take, balance, communication, honesty, caring, commitment, and sacrifice. I think you're blessed with a great relationship, so don't let others plant seeds of negativity into your marriage.
P.S. Just remember to have "date night" every once in a while with you and your husband alone. It helps keeps the relationship healthy!
2007-09-27 07:02:25 · answer #1 · answered by JazzMoney 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hubby and I have been married for over 17 years and he supports any night out I may ask for with friends, girls or sisters. The problem is that I don't do it often enough. I guess I would just rather go out with the family to dinner or a movie or something. Hubby drinks, but I am not a big drinker. He would rather come home and relax with a cold beer and his big screen after work.
But I will say, he doesnt view his own kids as BABY SITTING! He has always been there to stay home with them if I asked and he never complained. But that is probably because he may go out once in a while to play cards with the guys or have a couple of beers at the local hole or his twice weekly basketball games!
We have always been a team on that topic and the same with most of our friends and family.
2007-09-27 05:37:02 · answer #2 · answered by MyKidsMom 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My husband is supportive in watching the kids when I go out. I am very active in my church and I go out on occasion with friends also. I am a motivational speaker and a mentor/counselor so I have to go away unexpectedly alot too. He hasnt always been this way though. He sometimes would be upset with me when I would leave him with the kids and act like it was my sole responsibility to take care of them. He would get upset and call me while I was out toask unneeded questions to "act" like he didnt know what he was doing. It took a long time for him to become mature enough to realize that he was not only capable, but responsible for our children too. It helped out alot when I stopped treating him like the babysitter by telling him the things that needed done, and how to do things when the kids wanted or said other things to get their way. I started just letting him handle things the way he knew how. It works great now, except usually when I get home the house needs picked up there are dishes everywhere, or the dog has tore something up from not being paid attention too. Guys have a one tracked mind and if the track is the kids then everything used to make that run will be left for you to take care of when you get home I guess.
2007-09-27 05:47:18 · answer #3 · answered by MELISSA C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm in a relationship now, but when I was married I did have problems with bio dad not wanting to watch my child when I went shopping with a friend on his day off for a couple of hours. I'm not sure where you go during girls night out, but if it's to a nightclub or bar, I can understand your friends husbands feelings. I would not want my husband doing this during guys night out. Married or coupled people should not go to these places unless together. These places are really for single people in my opinion. This is where my ex met his new woman!
Anyway, I was thinking it might be fun to hire a couple of babysitters for all of the children and alternate homes every month while all of the husbands and wives went out together for a couples night out!
2007-09-27 05:44:35 · answer #4 · answered by LoraC 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see nothing wrong with getting out with the girls one a month of every other month...It is great that you have a supportive husband...not all men would agree to stay home and "babysit" their own children....I just moved to another state and don't know anyone here.....but I know when the time comes....my husband will be supportive and watch our little girl while I go out every now and then.
2007-09-27 05:36:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
After 15+ years of marriage our girls nights have dwindled to maybe 3 or 4 times a year. However, we make up for it with a Girls weekend once a year - we go out of town. Yes the men complain, they don't like the extra work or being left alone. Too bad, makes them appreciate us more. It's a universal guy thing (with one or two enlightened souls as exceptions) but they just don't want you to leave them at home. Alone. It's ok if they go play baseball, or hoops, but not for you to go out without them. But I promise, if you stick to your guns an continue the practice they will get used to it. Don't expect active support, but their complaints may diminish.
2007-09-27 05:37:53 · answer #6 · answered by Laurie C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We're newlyweds ... and I asked him if I could go to a hockey game with a few friends ( most of them were married ) and he laughed ... asking me what will a bunch of women do a hockey game ... lol ... so I think my man might fall into that category ... he sounds like he's ready to cry if I make plans without him ... he's been cheated on in the past so I understand why he feels insecure sometimes ... but I wouldn't mind him going out with the fellas ... I think once a month would be great ... !
2007-09-27 05:37:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hmm.... a strict "girls night" (without husbands/boyfriends/ fiances tagging along)... maybe once a year. Honestly.
Do I feel guilty? Heck no!!!
Does my fiance get upset? Are you kidding me? He tells me I need to go out more, but either too tired or just too caught up in something else. Besides, I can find better things to spend my money on.
2007-09-27 06:09:59 · answer #8 · answered by JMC 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I never have any girls night out. My other friends are married too so we go out as a family. Even this is rare as we never really have the money or energy to go out! Maybe you and your husband could work out a compromise or something. Some men just hate being alone.
2007-09-27 05:40:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i get out every now and then. it's about once every 3 months though. i get 5 hours of sleep a night and my hubby doesn't get home from work until close to 11pm. by then, i have wanted to be in bed for 2 hours, but i'm still up doing housework and waiting to spend time with him. when i do go, i don't feel guilty that i am leaving him with the kids because they are his kids too. i just don't like to be away from them. i do know people who's significant other throws a fit when they want to go out, but it's perfect y fine for them to leave whenever they want to.
2007-09-27 05:51:34 · answer #10 · answered by redpeach_mi 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋