has anyone been sorely tempted to stray from your marriage?

Question

I know this is very common statistically but when it happens to you its not a joke. I dont believe midlife crisis is any excuse for a guy but when the right person comes along who pushes your buttons you have a hard time fighting off the urge to see what its like to have an intimate relationship with another person even for a short period. The modern trend is to follow your bliss wherever but I feel tortutred by the torment of knowing its not right as it would really hurt my wife. I have had no other intimate relationships before marraige so there is a longing to sow my wild oats..
How do you fight off the urge and stay faithful to your relationship or do you give in and hope its new love not lust.

Answer 1

Well, if you really truly love your wife, you will just resist temptation and try to have more sexual experiences WITH your wife. If you feel like you need a change, leave your wife first. Don't cheat. You will regret it forever!

Answer 2

Look at it this way, if you cheat on your wife, how can the new woman trust you. Yes she is the one you cheated with, but if you could do it to your wife, what makes this woman any different. While the urge is there, there is also something called will power. And if you have resisted, then you have some. You can look at it this way, you can break up your home, hurt the woman who probably worships the ground you walk on, hurt your family, pay out the nose and all for a booty call. The sewing of your wild oats was for a time when you weren't married. PERSONALLY I think you should break all ties with this woman, no calls, e-mails, im... nada... that way you have no temptation to stray. Besides, if you end up divorcing because of an affair, how do you know this woman even wants you more than just a toy? Although your questions mainly sounds like you just want some booty... and thats not right....

And yes, I have been tempted to stray, but the grass isn't always greener on the other side.... you still have to water it, mow it and you still have allergies to it! Besides, is an STD better than your wife? Be careful out there... you really don't know where someone else has been... other than your spouse...

Answer 3

Life is full of temptations, isn't it? I'm mean, I sometimes just can't wait to dive into a bag of Snikers candy bars and eat the whole lot of them. But, I have resist that temptation otherwise the outcome won't be so good. Even if you had the opportunity to sow your wild oats, temptations will always be there. Marriage is a life-long committment. It is a decision to exist with and be a one person for the remainder of your life. If you had children, you would choose to love them for life, regardless of how you felt on any given day, right? Marriage is the same way. Love is not a feeling, it's a choice to commit. The way you fight off the urge is the same way you fight of any physical, bodily urge. Say, NO! It's not right and it's against my committment.

Answer 4

Remember this.... There is only one thing worse than the hot temptation to go out and be with some other woman that you've been tempted by. You know what that is????????

NOT BEING ABLE TO UNDO WHAT YOU JUST DID!!!!!!!!

BEEN THERE!!!

That is the most sick, awful feeling in the universe. If you have even half a molecule of a conscience or are the type of person who feels regret at all, you had better not do this or you will pay a personel internal price that will be like nothing you've ever known. Your wife doesn't even have to find out about it and you will still feel sick inside.

Fight it off and don't do it cause you can't undo it.

Answer 5

What you need to do is, look at old pictures of the two of you together, the places and the fun you had. Remember how you meet, sometimes going back in your memory of things in the past help with the present as well as the future. Giving into the desire to be with someone else isn't the answer. Take her to the first place you meet (if possible). Buy her a sexy nightie, take her out to a drive in movie (do they have any now days?) Everyone feels this way at one point, especially in a long relationship. And if that doesn't work than talk to a counselor. Cheating is NOT the answer. Talk to your wife... hope i helped.

Answer 6

I stopped fighting the urge 4 years ago i finally gave in to lust because i was not happy with my sex life. Love is not what I'm after i have that with hubby but you can't live on love and money alone, you have to figure which would hurt your wife the most, divorce or a affair in my situation my husband doesn't want a divorce so I can't be held responsible for my actions and have forewarned him of this.

Answer 7

Enough of the third rate, pointless advice above from the pecker-less christians..

I know your pain. You see god botheres deny our animalistic history. We are apes, and when you take away all the rubbish like jobs, cars, football etc, you are left with the undeniable fact that we are here for one purpose, and that is to breed. It is at our very core to pass on our genes, and while we can content ourselves with one partner for a while, it is just not natural.

The way it works is that women are out to get the best breeding stock. They want their children to be strong and healthy, and so they look for the best breeding stock and then they want them to protect them and their off-spring.

We males similarly want to find good breeding stock, and then for a while we want to make sure our off-spring survive their early years. However if there are no children or the children start growing up, there is no need for the male to stay with that female unless he wants to have more off-spring with her, but he is more inclined to want to increase the chances of his genes carrying on, and so is not naturally inclined to put all his eggs in one basket. So the male wants to move on to another mate.

So bottom line you are fighting biology. You are at war with millions of years of evolution. It's only been the last couple of thousand years that has seen the human race try to impose these restrictive relationships on ourselves. It didn't matter when we were roaming hunter gatherers, but as soon as we started cultivating the land and started to live in groups, we had to form these "rules" so we didn't kill each other in our attempts to pass on our genes.

So now you have to ask yourself if you want to give into biology and sow your oats, or if you want to try and keep society functioning and be a good little citizen and keep the peace in your tribe?

Answer 8

I have been with my other half for 3 years, married for almost a month but I can honestly say there is no one out there than can or will do it for me like he does, because we focus on each other and put the effort in to make our relationship good. Don't get me wrong we have our ups and downs along the way, but there is nothing more precious to me than our relationship

Answer 9

Think most of us have been faced with the temptation, but we never allow it to get to the point that we are involving ourselves with this other person to the point we feel
'they are the right person' for us. How would you know this unless you are around that person and getting to know them and such? When you even start to feel this way toward another, THAT is the time to stay far, far away from them and turn to your spouse; not encourage that other relationship. Personally, just the thought of how much pain and anguish I would cause the person I love the most in life would keep me from pursuing anything. Get away from this woman now and have absolutely no contact with her; she is poison to your family. Anyone can have sex; that is easy, but it is the true man who can stand up and declare that he values his wife more than a cheap thrill and momentary pleasure.

Answer 10

I think it's because you never been with anyone else you just want to know what it would be like, but don't cheat on her, as think how you would feel if the shoe was on the other foot, trying asking your wife to dress up for you or roll play that sometimes works!! But if you really want to be with the other woman then you should leave your wife as its not fair on her.

Answer 11

Love and commitments are decisions and choices...they are not controlled by the whims of infatuation and lust. It is never wrong to love and there will always be those to whom you are attracted outside of your spouse. The key is what you do, or more importantly, don't do, about them. Enjoy the bliss, but stay faithful to your commitments. It is the only way to live a life with any integrity.