My Mother in Law is amazing and I love her so much. The problem is, I wanted to have a baby shower before the baby was born (back in August) and she is now wanting to have one for me after the baby is born so people can see the baby. I am very, very worried about this because I don't want anyone touching the baby due to they might have had a cold or the flu recently (since it is cold season), most of my family are smokers, and I just flat out don't want this little guy to get sick from anyone bc I'd feel horrible. Am I over-paranoid for thinking this way? I feel as though I'm being selfish. I'd love a baby shower, but I don't know. I was thinking that I could pick up hand sanitizer and have everyone that comes over use it? Is that silly of me to think like that?
8 days overdue w/baby number 1
2007-09-27 03:54:39 · 23 answers · asked by Miley 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
You aren't being silly or paranoid, you are being a new mom. Add to the cold & flu season, it is also RSV season... and breast feeding is not a gaurantee that the child will not get RSV, the cold or the flu, or a host of other things (my nephew got RSV while being breast fed..imagine that).
The hand sanitizer is great idea. I wouldn't allow smoking around my child, either. So, you just tell her, with all the health risk there are some considerations that need to be made, because you have some concerns. Pull a fact data sheet from the cdc about RSV and Flu season, if that will help.
Good luck!
2007-09-27 04:03:06 · answer #1 · answered by justme 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no it is not silly. I am assuming this is your first child, so it is normal to worry about what could happen. But you baby could catch a cold anywhere, even in the grocery store with you. It is a bit exteme not to want your family around your child just for fear of an illness. They will want to meet your child sooner or later, and you cannot shelter your child from every cold as some germ exposure will help your baby form immunities and strength to fight germs. Though you cannot protect your child from every germ or every person who has germs, you can take precautions. Asking those who smoke to go outside is perfectly acceptable, as i do this with my own family and none have taken offense. However hand sanitizers will only help keep germs off the hands of people touching the baby. If they already a cold, hand sanitizers will not stop airborn germs. Baby showers are a way for family and friends to celebrate and to help you prepare for your arrival. Try to relax and remember your family means well. Try talking to your mother in law and explain to her your worries. You don't have to feel bad about being overprotective, most mothers are. But do try to have fun, you would be amazed at the beautiful gifts you will recieve.
2007-09-27 04:16:51 · answer #2 · answered by piercing_beauty96 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not silly, but be prepared for some ribbing. My sister in law had her shower after the baby because she didn't find out what it was while pregnant, and she had the exact same concerns. When she asked people to use hand sanitizer, many got offended or rolled thier eyes. If you are close with your mother in law, just tell her you're worried about germs, as you should be, and you'd rather have the shower when the baby is sleeping or your husband can take over. If she is amazing, as you say, she'll understand your completely valid new mom concers. Good luck.
And I'm sorry, but breast fed babies DO get sick too.
2007-09-27 03:59:02 · answer #3 · answered by Leah 3 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Have you spoken to your doctor about his/her opinion?
I would think that if you're breastfeeding, your baby should be pretty safe from getting a cold or the flu, but it's not 100%. I personally don't like the idea of hand sanitizer for everyone because that could get into your baby's mouth. I would think that everyone would refrain from smoking indoors and outdoors when around your baby. If there is a smell of smoke, I'd be a little concerned too!
I don't know what I'd do. I see your concern about the smoking! I'd seriously speak with my doctor about it!
2007-09-27 04:17:19 · answer #4 · answered by Sylves 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not over reacting... if she wants to have a baby shower post baby, thats great, but you need to wait until your little one is at least 1 month old. You should definitely not have that many people around the little one... the baby will be over stimulated, scared, and yes, could get sick.
That baby needs special time with mommy, daddy, and just a select few other people for the first month or so.
Don't feel pressured by your MIL, she is trying to be helpful, but you're the mom. Start telling your self that now, because MIL problems are always going to be there, and she needs to learn right away that you're in charge of your baby. :)
2007-09-27 04:05:11 · answer #5 · answered by amber 18 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that silly at all! \
Personally, I wouldn't have the shower after the baby is born because of what you said....germs! I would tell your mother in law that you're now the mom and you don't want it. If you have the shower, you could just take pics of the baby with you and just explain you don't want her around the smoke and germmies!
2007-09-27 04:13:17 · answer #6 · answered by bean 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why not wait until baby is 1 or 2 months old then have the shower. Yes, he will still be small and a newborn, but not a BRAND NEW newborn.
You are not being over-paranoid over this. It is a legitimate worry. Your MIL should have taken your feelings into consideration and had your shower earlier.
2007-09-27 04:07:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
SO not silly. You should limit outside contact with the baby for alittle while after birth. I have 3 kids and for the first 2-3 weeks we stayed holed up at home. You can't save them from every germ but you should avoid too early an exposure. Anyway if you're not comfortable with it she should understand that and respect your wishes. In the old days no one saw the baby for months, but then that was the age of small pox and polio....lol. Do what you feel is best for your baby and stick to your guns. You are the Mom now so you have to.
2007-09-27 04:01:18 · answer #8 · answered by jmj1096 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's not silly of you to think that way. I was like that too. Then on the babyshower when someone asked me if they could hold the baby, i just said I prefered if they did not. Most of the people didn't even ask to hold the baby. They just wanted to look. And I had a hand sanitizer on the table in the livingroom for every one to see AND use. People understand that you don't want your baby to get sick.
good luck!
2007-09-27 04:02:14 · answer #9 · answered by leengbm 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you are silly at all! I would hope anyone who knew they were sick would not attend but having the guest wash their hands with sanitizer is very wise.I would not keep the baby in the room where the shower is held,bring him in for a "viewing" and off to a safe( germ free) place.
2007-09-27 04:01:24 · answer #10 · answered by Hope 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋