Is this normal?

Question

Is it normal for a man to feel irritated and frustrated because he can only have intercourse with his wife once a week and he would like it twice a week? Also, the man is craving more affection(kissing, touching, caressing, passion) and is left feeling unsatisfied after one day a week of intercourse. The man has communicated this to his wife and she STILL makes no effort to compromise.... Please no silly inmature answers.

I must mention that we have been on good terms and made arrangements to be intimate and she will change her mind within an hour. I do NOT just want sex! I want the affection from her. I don't think twice a week is too much at all if you are married and truly love that person for who they are!

I also must mention that I am willing to do ANYTHING to please her, but she will not allow me to do certain things(passionate kissing,etc.)

As a man, I do more than my share of work around the house. Sometimes I think I do too much.

she only wants to be intimate once per week but went out and bought a sex toy...she will only ALLOW me to one thing with her and that's missionary but she will get a piece of plastic to take care of that need????

Answer 1

Well anything is possible! I would love your ways in my own husband! I am not being satisfied right now and I let him know and he said he was not motivated so maybe that's what's wrong with your wife. Try to help her find way to become more motivated you do not need the help you ARE motivated but sounds like she does. The more I think about it, it's not normal unless it began that way if it has become that way then NO it is not normal.

Answer 2

It is totally normal for a man to feel frustrated by the lack of affection as well as the limits on sex. I don't think that twice a week is an unreasonable request.

I know that the problem has been communicated to the wife, but, is there some problem that prohibits her from having a more normal sexual relationship with her husband? Is there some emotional issue, or something in her past that makes her not want to be intimate?

Maybe the wife should try some counselling. This doesn't sound like a normal, healthy relationship since the husband is not getting what he needs and, if it continues, will more than likely seek to find affection and sexual gratification elsewhere.

Hope that this helps.

Answer 3

Yes it is normal to feel frustrated when your needs are not being meet...marriage is about give and take. A women's drive are different than a man's. You said you have expressed your concern...how did you express it - this is a very delicate topic in marriage. What kind of stresses is she dealing with? Kids, Home chores? Work? And women are verbal creatures - you need to make sure her needs are being meet too...do you talk to her? listen to her? Compliment her? Sometimes to get what you need, you have to put someone else's needs first - if you are both putting each other first then it works. Try being more affectionate to her with out expecting sex...surprise her when you get home from work by walking up to her and passionately kissing her, rub her feet or run her a bubble bath and offer to cook dinner and / or watch the kids while she bathes. Try doing something nice and considerate everyday for a couple of weeks. If nothing changes talk to her again, but this time make it about her and and not about the lack of sex!!! You don't want to make her feel like the only reason you have done these nice things is to get into her pants...that will hurt her. You did them because you want to meet her needs and she does alot for you that you might let go un-noticed. Women like to here things like that - as long as you really mean it!!! So mean it and she'll look at you in a whole new light which should in return help her to want to meet your needs...see how this works??? Good Luck!

Answer 4

I'm in your same situation.

My wife makes a good opint, which is that if she were to engage me more often it would be insincere because she doesn't feel the same need or drive - she doesn;t receive or express affection through physical touch.

I do not know the solution to this problem, but I do know it is normal. Not because men just want sex all the time and are unreasonable about it either - all people have different libidos and communicate affection differently.

If it is affection you receive from the closeness and intimacy and in pleasing her, ask if she'd be willing to let you give her a weekly massage (I recommend KY tingling body oil, by the way), dancing, snuggling and talking, etc. In my experience more if this kind of time does lead to more frequent sex as well and helps me feel a little more affection from her. Which she really does feel and wants to show, as I'm sure your woman does!

Answer 5

Yes, this problem is very common!

If you're asking if two times a week is "normal", researchers say there is no "normal." (But I think, myself, that wanting sex twice a week is usual for men.)

The problem is not the number of times per week, but that there is a *difference* in what two people want. One person wants sex every day; the other person wants sex once a month. Lots of couples have this problem, and it's not easy.

It's sad that your wife won't change from one time a week to two times a week to make you happy. But I wonder if you can try to accept this somehow, since the alternative is being always unhappy and possibly getting a divorce.

Counseling may help. Even if your wife won't change, counseling can help you deal with your frustration.

There is more information on the internet. I listed two links below to get you started.

Answer 6

It's normal to feel irritated if we are not getting what we want. You mention that this man wants more kisses, more passion, more caressing and touching, but does this man do all of those things for his wife? Maybe the reason she's not satisfying him is because she herself is not being satisfied. Maybe if she was getting everything she wanted from sex she'd want it more than once a week. Sounds to me like you guys need to talk to each other more and try new things if you really love each other and want to fully satisfy each other.

Answer 7

I couldn't agree more with this posting. I'm in the same exact same boat. This is a question I could've posted. It is absoluetly normal to feel this way. It's unfortunate some women just aren't into any sexual activity. Especially before you get married, you and your wife agree on having a great and healthy sex life and you get married and find out the complete opposite? Been there and still there and you can sure as hell bet it's frustrating

Answer 8

It is totally normal for you to feel this way. Talk to your wife, not just telling her you want more sex and affection, but ask her why she is so reluctant to be intimate with you. There has to be some reason. Is she depressed? Afraid of getting pregnant, ask her if she feels you truly love her, the number of reasons she may be like this are far too many to list here, but I am sure you get the picture.

Answer 9

I believe it's normal. Where you want more affection, she doesn't want as much. I guess hang in there, maybe it'll lighten up. Relationships are like roller coasters, with their ups and downs. If she's always been like this... well, she probably won't change. It's just a personality difference. But if this is more recent, she could just have a lot on her mind (family, work, etc). Stress affects everything in your life, the good and the bad. =-Þ Keep brining it up, but not all the time. It's an issue that won't go away.

Answer 10

I guess it's normal - if you fail to discuss these things before you get married.

Relationships, whether they're between husband and wife, employer and employee, store and customer, or anything else, are all about communication. Specifically, communication of expectations. Tell the other person what you expect of him or her, and just as important, what he or she can expect of you.

The man in the question above clearly didn't discuss his expectations with his wife, and now is in a marriage that's far less physical than he would like. It seems like he's tried talking about it lately, and she's not interested. They can separate now or face a lifetime of disappointment.