Ok, you're bored, you have an affair and things seem great to the point where you want to divorce? How long do you think the greatness in the new relationship will last? Do men think that far ahead or do you think their tri-pods get in the way of normal brain functioning? Just wondering---I'm not having an affair and no, I'm not the victim?
2007-09-27 03:28:21 · 13 answers · asked by Sondra 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Bull in a china shop....your statements make a lot of sense!
2007-09-27 17:18:39 · update #1
Good question. Life, as complicated as it is, gives us the illusion that we are going forward when sometimes we are going backwards.
I had an affair that almost ended my marriage 5 years ago. I was ready to give it all up and start anew with another person. I guess the natural course will eventually take you to realize that there is no complete happiness with only one person. Life is always like that and you have to learn to deal with it. By the way, I did come back and I have never separated again and we are very happy. As happy as any normal human being can be.
2007-09-27 03:35:47 · answer #1 · answered by Dr NO 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, I have a lot of experience with this. I think that people have affairs because they are trying to get their unmet needs met. this means there is already a big problem in the marriage - it is not meeting their needs. of course they are going to move towards the person that does start to meet their needs.
personally i am with a man i had an affair with and things are great - years and years later. because we meet each other's needs. I think you are taking an overly simplistic view of the situation.
of course the wife is probably meeting a lot of needs, too. if the new relationship fails to meet those needs it won't last either.
i am not in favor of affairs. i think it's a bad way to deal with problems in a marriage. however the only way a marriage will work is when everyone's needs are being met. you must make sure the marriage is meeting everyone's needs so they don't go looking outside.
my humble opinion.
2007-09-27 03:34:36 · answer #2 · answered by BonesofaTeacher 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, most men have affairs just for variety. No matter what they say most don't want to lose their wife, they just want to "be with" another woman.
Anyone who believes that an affair will be just as exciting when it becomes a real relationship is deluding themselves. Everything's great in begining of almost any relationship that lasts a while.
2007-09-27 03:49:01 · answer #3 · answered by Bull in a china shop 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Most guys are hideously short-sighted and overly optimistic. The old saying "the grass is always greener on the other side" doesn't tell the whole story - guys(girls too) don't realize the effort required to KEEP the grass green. It's one thing to be the "other" person - all the perks, none of the headaches. But when you want the whole package, everything changes and it's a whole new ballgame.
2007-09-27 03:42:15 · answer #4 · answered by A.J. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have it all wrong, most men who have affairs are not trying to get out of their current relationship. They just want some sex on the side, or someone to talk to, because they can't talk to their wife. It's not about finding a new relationship, most are married with kids, and don't want anything but sex for her.
2007-09-27 04:26:08 · answer #5 · answered by harold 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would have to say look at the past relationships they have had and if the greatness didn't last then it more then likely wont now. I think affairs are more based on lust then love.....
2007-09-27 03:32:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The greatness lasts until you are found out, or if you are sneaking around, it prolongs the greatness to last for a couple of years.Men think with their little heads. The grass may be greener, but it still needs mowed.
2007-09-27 03:34:39 · answer #7 · answered by Harley Lady 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Their tripods...ha ha ha....I almost engraved my hubby's ipod with the saying, "To my tripod, here's your ipod" but I couldn't bring myself to do it.
Anway....I'm sure most men who have an affair (who haven't thought through all the repercussions and affects it will have on other people) surely don't think that far down the line about the new relationship....
2007-09-27 03:31:56 · answer #8 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Basically its like a car, some prefer the classics but those require lots of maintanance, me I prefer to trade in the old car every few years for a newer model. Nothing like that new car smell. When the car starts giving me problems I may take it to the shop for repairs but if it starts costing me too much money I just drive it back to the dealership to get a new one.
2007-09-27 03:33:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Men don't think that far ahead when having an affair.
2007-09-27 03:32:04 · answer #10 · answered by Greenman 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋