she was 14 and didn't want to abort the baby. her mother brought her to the clinic and the counsler, her mother, and aunt manipulated her in to it. now she's been crying for days and shows signs of depression. and worst of all. she has to pretend like nothing ever happened, so she cant speak about it. when she does it has to be in secret, she says she regrets it and feels extremely guilty and sad. It's just so wrong and sad. is this even legal?
2007-09-27 02:56:27 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
We would have to know what state the 14-year-old was in, because the states do not have uniform laws across the board, not even when it comes to minors and abortions.
I am just appalled. Even if one was militantly pro-choice, where was the choice? There wasn't one. Was she too young to be the mother of a new baby? Probably, but abortion was not the only option. If the girl had given the baby up for adoption (and the demand is so high for newborn adoptees) she would have probably been depressed about giving up the baby, but there at least would have been a silver lining that the baby had a better provider, and it would have taken less time to rebound from the blow than dealing with the permanence and finality of abortion. The mom wanting everything to be hush-hush tells us a lot. The mom was looking out for her best interests, not her daughter's. Probably the reason why adoption was not sought as a remedy is because the mom of the 14-year-old would not have been able to keep things hush-hush with a pregnant daughter around. Rather than lose face with those who found out about the pregnancy, the mom had to force an abortion on her 14-year-old. How utterly selfish of the mom--and then to not get the 14-year-old to counseling, again is pure selfishness by the mom. I disagree with those who say that the mom was just making a wise decision on behalf of her underaged daughter. This was a selfish decision made without sufficient regard for the impact on the daughter.
2007-09-27 11:53:28 · answer #1 · answered by williamsonworks 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The baby won't have birth defects -- that's why cousins are allowed to marry in some places. That said, ask her to go with you to a counselor who can mediate between you. A doctor will not perform an abortion on her unless s/he has your daughter's consent, not just yours. A doctor can also explain to you that birth defects don't happen between cousins. You should treat your daughter as an adult. Ask her what her plan is for supporting the baby or if she will give it up for adoption. Ask her how she will pay for diapers, how she will continue school, whether your nephew will help her financially for the next 18 years, and so forth. Take her to a store and show her what diapers cost. Ask her her plans.
2016-05-19 22:54:43 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is NOT legal. It doesn't matter that the girl is 14. The mother cannot force a child to have an abortion. Once the girl is pregnant only SHE has the right to decide that. I don't care what anyone thinks, it's not legal. Not only is it not legal, it's very immoral. I don't think anyone can be legally forced into having an abortion. The mother was very wrong in this case.
2007-09-27 04:24:05 · answer #3 · answered by musicpanther67 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I don't know if it's legal but it was definitely wrong of her mother to force her to have an abortion. She is so young and it sounds like this has scarred her for life. She's going to have to live with the guilt and sorrow. She really needs to get some serious counseling. If I had to guess, I would say that what her mother has done to her has caused your friend to resent her and to be honest, I wouldn't blame her. Her mother should have let her carry the baby to full term and then put it up for adoption. She wouldn't even consider letting that baby have a chance to live. He/she could have grown up to make a difference in this world. Tell your friend that we are all praying for her and hope that one day she will be able to get through this ordeal and finally have peace with it. Just do your best to be there for her when she needs a shoulder to cry on.
2007-09-27 03:45:52 · answer #4 · answered by angelamc31 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Your girlfriend needs to go to a Pastor and a counselor. Find a local Crisis Pregnacy Center. All these people will help her heal. There is forgiveness in Jesus. I am not surprised by her depression she was forced to allow her baby to be murdered.
Her mother is an awful parent and needs to have her child taken away from her for inflicting such emotional trauma on her daughter and for forcing the murder of her grandchild.
2007-09-27 04:16:11 · answer #5 · answered by ElioraImmanuel 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The people in the clinic should make sure that abortion is really what she wants. It's a very sad "solution" to the child's mistake.
2007-09-27 03:07:55 · answer #6 · answered by Karin H 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't agree with abortion, in ANY circumstance. Do I think that the mother was manipulative? No. She did what she felt was the right thing to do. Who in their right mind would let their 14yr old daughter put themselves in this situation to begin with? The mother must have felt this was the only way to deal with this and there is nothing noone could have done to change this. Its sad. I wonder though, what is the mother to do to prevent this from happening again, the daughter having sex? Of course mom can't follow her daughter everywhere, and it is illegal to tie your kid up and lock them in the bedroom. I feel sorry for the daughter. Because she made a bad decision to have sex so early, become pregnant, and had to go through this. Hopefully she learned her lesson from this, not to have sex, or to use protection.
As for her mother telling her daughter to keep this hush-hush, I understand this. She shouldn't go around talking about this to friends or anyone for that matter, this is very personal and why should she want anyone to know this anyways? Of course she is going to be depressed, any woman would. Just be there for your friend and let her know that you won't tell anyone this.
2007-09-27 03:48:49 · answer #7 · answered by eZonis34 4 · 0⤊ 5⤋
Not sure about the abortion part, but it is Mom's responsibiblity to take care of her child's needs, and that includes COUNSELING after this forced abortion! I consider this to be a form of child abuse/neglect, and I'm sure the legal system would, too.
2007-09-27 03:47:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
NO!!! Once your pregnant its your choice what you do. That was WRONG of them to do that. This girl will always have to live with she has a child that is no longer here. It breaks my heart. She needs to speak up and talk to someone.
Talk to the school counselor or a close teacher, someone at church, and tell them SHE NEEDS HELP!!! She also should look at legal actions on the clinic who took her rights out of her hands and took her baby! If she was upset and they had to talk her in to it. THERE WRONG AND ACTIONS NEED TO BE TAKEN!
Forced in to an abortion is worse then rap. She needs helps and needs to be heard. It was wrong what they did!!
GET HER HELP!!! this could scar her for life!! and fast!!!
2007-09-27 03:06:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 2⤋
i don't think it is...even tho she is under 18 i don't think they could make her do that i would have freaked out at the clinic and asked to be put in a foster home
if you know this girl maybe you should have her over and let her talk to you or take her to talk to a pastor or someone like that
she can't hold that in it will really kill her...that parent isn't right at all...im in tears thinking a parent would do that to their child its so sad
2007-09-27 04:56:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋