In todays society, why do people even bother getting married anymore?
I know what a lot of you are going to say...
Marriage is a commitment?
-How is it a commitment? Do you really need a piece of paper to justify the relationship? You can't be committed to one another without being married? It obviously doesn't help with commitment, considering the divorce rates. It won't stop either one of you from seeing other people.
You can have kids without being married, you can raise kids without being married, you can be together without being married. Why marry?
Is it a show of the love you have for one another? if you love one another then do you really need some random clergyman (who is probably paying more attention to the choirboys) to announce to your friends and family members that you love one another, because he says so?
Seriously, give me some valid reasons for marriage being a positive thing in todays society.
I'd go on but yahoo has restricted the number of characters I have
2007-09-27 01:37:22 · 15 answers · asked by georgeishere 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It can be financial, emotional, anything.
Just list me some benefits.
2007-09-27 01:43:25 · update #1
Here's one example of how it's more of a commitment.
My husband's sister broke into our house and stole stuff and trashed the place. this led to a couple of months of problems with his family -his parents didn't get why it was such a big deal, and actually told US off for not giving his sister what she wanted in the first place!
If we had not been married, I would have thrown my hands up in the air, said 'I shouldn't have to deal with this sh*t!' and left (although I'm sure he would've picked me over his family - which I would NEVER ask him to do). As it was, being married, it wasn't so simple as just leaving. So, here we are, nearly two years later, and everything is fine again.
It is a personal choice too though. I feel so much love for my man, that I wanted to promise to be with him and love him forever and ever, and i wanted everyone to know. I want everyone to know that he's mine, and I'm his. Being married is a simple and efficient way to do that (once you've finished paying for the wedding! lol). I would've been happy with a celebrant and garden wedding, but he wanted a church wedding, so we had one. We find ourselves saying every week or so 'I'm so glad i married you.' and i think i am the luckiest woman in the world, that this man picked me (or rather, that this man said yes when i asked him to marry me!). I sit and watch him sometimes, and it's so cute when he makes his 'I'm thinking' face - he sucks on his top lip, which makes him bottom lip stick out, and he frowns a little bit - and i think 'i love him, I'm so lucky.'
The problem is, people marry for the wrong reasons, or they don't try hard enough to work it out, they think marriage will be a walk in the park. It's not, it's a commitment, and you have to work at it to keep a marriage good, like a garden. if you don't tend to it, weeds grow, and it isn't pretty anymore. people don't want to work at it, so they give up. and if you were TRULY committed to your relationship in the first place, you wouldn't see other people - married or not.
2007-09-27 02:06:07 · answer #1 · answered by A derka der 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Someone just posted a question regarding wether or not he should stay with his wife. And almost everyone one said "oh don't be un happpy...just unmarry her". I completely understand why you would ask such a question in today's world. No one respects marriage anymore. It's like a dating relationship, when you feel like you want to move on.... you just get a divorce. No one tries to work on it, stick it out, till death do you part. But I will say that there are some of us out there that still hold marriage to be very sacred. It's the back bone of society. The man/woman communion, then having a child. Why do you think the world has such a high crime rate? Unmarried pregnancies. Kids need to be in a complete family. They need a father and a mother. Each parent shows and shares with a child how to live, how to respect others, how to stick it out through thick and thin.... Each has to come from a mom and a dad living in the same house. God made this union to be sacred, Christ said the only reason for divorce was if someone cheated. Has everyone forgot that? Not just because your unhappy, fell out of love. It's no wonder people have lost respect for the union of marriage. If you REALLY want to know more. Check out Focus on the family. com It's a whole group focused on keeping marriage and family whole. Hope this helped. God Bless!
2007-09-27 02:04:57 · answer #2 · answered by ol me 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
its a part of life everyone wants to experience and wow divorce rates are up doesn't mean that someone cant get married and actually make it work.. If people took their vows and commitment seriously divorce rates wouldn't be up. There are people that think you should be married to have kids so you can set a good example for your kids would you really want to teach your kids that you shouldn't get married and just have kids and then be able to go and have kids with someone else because you can just leave the first girl cause you weren't married and it was easier to leave?
It's not just a piece of paper it's showing to the world that 2 people love each other and want to spend the rest of their lives together because they love each other and make each other happy
only reason it's not so positive now a days is because people like you judging it and thinking its stupid because you think you shouldnt need to get married/have a piece of paper or be married to have kids. And people don't take it seriously because you see abunch of people get married and say there vows like til death do us part and then a little down the line the going gets tough so they get a divorce.
2007-09-27 01:46:05 · answer #3 · answered by Rayray 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
protection after separation- legally, although nowadays alot of jurisdictions give de facto couple equal protection. that is, only if they could be proved to be together for a certain period of time.
last name entitlement - although alot of the times women may not even care if they do not carry the husband's family name. should your children bear your husband's names but has a mother who doesnt?
surely you are residing in a western country. but let's not forget there are alot of other more conservative countries that do not see pre marital sex as something to be proud of. and seeing that this is the century where globalisation is the number one theme, how do we accomodate that? also, let's not forget there are still elderly people who hold strong to "family" values that we need to have respect to. if that makes sense.
let's talk about religion, shall we?
but no... i personally dont see marriage as a MUST either, i do see there are many many good reasons why marriage is good/needed. its a sweeet sweeeeet thing at the least, and a form of recognition too (not recognition aint only important to insecure paranoid that think their spouses will not commit exclusively, it is for everybody)
edit--
it sounds like you are looking for some good excuses not to get married rather than a good reason to get married.
go for your life! ;-)
2007-09-27 01:55:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is not just a piece of paper. It is a religious ceremony where you promise before God and the people you love that you will be with this person through thick and thin. It validates your relationship in the eyes of other people and of God.
There are also legal aspects of marriage. You get financial benefits, higher tax returns, medical insurance coverage. Also, the next of kin/inheritance issues.
2007-09-27 02:34:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
That "piece of paper" is what keeps me from straying. I made that commitment before my family, my friends and my God. Having children in a comitted relationship such as marriage is what makes for successful children. Having Mom and Dad in their lives makes them feel safe. Having children during marriage will never embarass them. Even if the marriage ends in divorce, the child knows that they were created out of love, not just a fling. Neither myself nor my husband will stray because of our vows. Some people get married just because they feel like they need to do so, instead of getting married because they want to. I hope that you find that special person some day. Marriage is what you make of it. You can either make it miserable or make it work. Love makes you feel good. Having that spouse, have your back always, will make for a happy life.
2007-09-27 05:13:58 · answer #6 · answered by Colette B 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I see your point, you are right you don't need a piece of paper to show you have made a commitment. The paper doesn't stop cheating and doesn't guarantee a better marriage. People have different feelings about marriage, it's all about how you feel.
2007-09-27 01:47:12 · answer #7 · answered by firefly 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
"Seriously, give me some valid reasons for marriage being a positive thing in todays society."
I like being married because it makes me happy to be married to the man I love. My feelings are valid and my happiness is a positive thing to society.
2007-09-27 01:49:23 · answer #8 · answered by Poppet 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
For the guy nothing is gain other than having his children attached to him maybe every other weekend when things don't work out. But for the women its a meal ticket if things don't work out. If people are force to witness the court system dealing with divorce prior to saying "I do" the whole marriage industry would fail. Of course the other industry would fail would be the divorce industry.
2007-09-27 03:56:46 · answer #9 · answered by chancesare45 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No one says you HAVE TO get married.
If you love your partner and your partner loves you, there's absolutely no need for you two to put your signatures on a piece of paper.
But, if you want to make your relationship formal, conventional, you can get married.
2007-09-27 02:14:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋