i have two kids with this guy. When we first started "talking" he would be at my house ALL the time, he practically lived there, however he did have a girlfriend and a son with her. someone else told me about her but he still came over and messed with me ALL the time anyway. They ended up back togetether but everytime they'd fight she'd kick him out and he'd come stay with me and I ended up pregnant for the 2nd time by him. they have now been together awhile and are getting married-he will try to get my kids or ask if he can see them but I wont let him-he doesnt deserve to see them, He pays child support and thats all i want, he aint seeing my kids, he had a chance.What can I do to get him back for going back to her and leaving me like that? I have tried all the slicing her tires and so on. I dont know what I can do to really make him pay? What would really hurt him?
2007-09-27 01:19:38 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why are you attacking her? He was cheating on her with YOU!
You knew he had a gf and yet you still messed around with him and apparently you didn't use protection.
You are as much to blame for this mess as he is.
He pays child support? Then he has every right to see HIS kids. You can't keep him from them.
If he can prove you sliced her tires or anything like that, then you could LOSE your kids to him because of your violent temper.
2007-09-27 01:33:15 · answer #1 · answered by Spring 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Think about the kids. Everything that you do to the dad reflects on the kids. They are you wanted or not a part of him. If he is bad, they are bad too.
I think (depends on states) that if he pays support, he have visitation rights. By not allowing to see the kids who are you hurting, him or the kids?
I will say go and get a review of the child support, this will put economical pressure on him. Just don't talk bad about him in front of the kids, and if he does talk bad about you, let him know is not accepted. Taking the kids far away, will prevent him from seeing the kids, but the kids will suffer to.
2007-09-27 09:09:03 · answer #2 · answered by jmclaudio76 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me get this straight.... You have sex with a man in a relationship, you let him keep using you for a place to stay and a lay when his relationship is on the rocks, you have a couple kids with him because you don't have the sense to prevent pregnancy. Am I on track so far?
Then he decides to marry his primary partner, pays you support, wants to be a father to his kids and somehow he's the bad guy?
There is no one in this story that did nothing wrong except the kids! She puts up with this guy cheating and then thinks marrying him is a good idea. He plays around on his woman and makes babies. You let a "taken" man live with you, sleep with you and knock you up and then you commit illegal acts to "get back at him" for doing what you LET and ENCOURAGED him do to you.
Perhaps you should grow up a bit before trying to raise your kids. What a fine example you are!
He's not abusive, just a liar and a cheat. He has the legal right to see his kids and I hope he enforces that right.
2007-09-27 08:30:21 · answer #3 · answered by Melanie J 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why are you trying to slice her tires? Why would you want to make him pay and pay for what? You knew what was going on and he was already with someone and had a child with her. You were stupid to get involved with him in the first place and now you have 2 kids? Believe it or no those are his kids and they deserve to have a father regardless of how mad you are at their dad. You knew he was with another woman when you got pregnant.
2007-09-27 08:28:28 · answer #4 · answered by hoppykit 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
don't waste your time. focus on you and your children and move on! I am sorry you are in this situation, but truly you knew this could happen when you started screwing around with him... he HAD a girlfriend! It was obvious that he was scum then. And, 2 kids from that? Why weren't you using protection at all? He is scum but you invited that into your life. I always say, your relationships are a direct reflection of who YOU are. Honestly, what I would do, shut him out of your life, take care of yourself and your children. Don't get into another relationship without serisouly upping your standards. There are great guys out there! You need to love yourself before others can. Good luck.
2007-09-27 11:25:38 · answer #5 · answered by Rossy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That depends on who you want to be, and how courageous you are. If you have courage, you can look at the situation and recognize who created it. You both created the situation, and you both created two children. Now, you need to decide who you're going to be, because this story is one you're going to tell your children someday--and it's also going to tell them who their mother is.
You decided to get into a relationship with a man who didn't respect the women in his life. He wasn't faithful to his girlfriend, and he wasn't faithful to you. He put his relationship with his other son at risk by being involved with you, and he compromised his relationship with your children by pursuing a relationship elsewhere. You knew he was doing this, and while his decisions aren't your fault, your decision to participate in them is. That decision gave your children a profoundly flawed father and an obviously hostile relationship between their parents. If you can take responsibility for your part in this, forgive yourself and take action to make the best situation possible, you'll be able to forgive him eventually. That's critical, because...
They should see their father. The fact that their parents made poor decisions shouldn't mean they have to live their lives with no interaction with their father. I was married to a person who was adopted, and I'm currently married to a man whose father died when he was very young. The fact is that it's a decision which they'll never "let go".
It's the hard choice, but it's the right choice to set aside your feelings as a girlfriend and make these decisions as a mother. If you worry about how he'll interact with the kids, then keep visits short and insist on being present.
Don't harass his fiance. In case you haven't noticed, this man treats women poorly. You're only further abusing the woman he's decided to treat poorly for the rest of her life. She didn't do anything wrong except take back a man who doesn't respect her. Ironically, you want him back, too. The person you should condemn is this man, but you need to interact with him because you've chosen to make him the other parent of your children.
2007-09-27 08:32:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry, but you need to let this go. It's not fun to get hurt, but you are only going to hurt your kids if you can't find a way to get over this and move on. Your kids need a dad ..... even if he's not such a great boyfriend....he's still their dad. Slicing tires, etc., will land YOU in trouble and your kids could be living with him full time. You don't want to lose your kids. Let this go. Seek counseling if you just can't, but get things together for your kids. Forget him, he's not worth your time. You deserve so much better.
2007-09-27 08:27:24 · answer #7 · answered by ursobustedmr 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I think "you" need to pay alittle for this first. YOU let him come back all those times they fought. So my question is, are you just really pissed at yourself right now for being walked on and you are trying to make him "feel" your pain. My suggestion is to get some help from family/friends and move on. And also, depending on what state you live in, unless he is a danger to the kids, he can still see them.
2007-09-27 08:26:25 · answer #8 · answered by morhedeldarkpact 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This man cheated on her with you and you want to slice her tires? You willing slept with a man that was taken and had his baby and that is her fault? He used you. You need to worry about raising your children PROPERLY. That does not mean destroying someone else's property for being with a man that was hers anyway. Someone else told you about her? He didn't? And you continued to see him and get pregnant by him? Wake up girl. He was messing with you because you allowed it. He had his cake and was eating it too. Do you really think that denying your children their father is what is best for them? They are your first priority now. They come before you and your hatred. I am sorry to say it but you got yourself into this predicament with your eyes wide open. Think of what your children will think of you when they are old enough to understand this situation.
2007-09-27 08:52:26 · answer #9 · answered by kim h 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Use your head,,, it isn't only his fault it is yours as well. YOU knew he had a gf but you let him back, not once but pregnant twice? Those poor children. You need to move on and quit being so childish. You will end up in the slammer for that kind of childish behavior. That kind of vindictive behavior on your part will only keep men away from you, they will say and know you are phys co. Grow up and take care of your kids....
2007-09-27 08:37:21 · answer #10 · answered by sweetemtation_123 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋