i have a friend that has been married for 28 years her husband has always cheated on her ....she has busted him twice and forgave him twice all the other times she hasnt found out....she is a beautifull woman in her 50s and she goes to school and she also works she has various degrees she doesnt need him ..i can understand if she didnt have a trade and couldnt do it on her own but this is not the case she is also a strong black female i see more and more that black women put up with a lot more than any other women why is this and how may i hel her????
2007-09-27 00:58:52 · 9 answers · asked by Rican Babe 4 u 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i do not judge her it just makes me mad as hell ...ive even seen him flirt with mutual friends but i already know how my friend is and so i stay shut ive even heard him say its cheaper to keep her after being married for so long ...its just awfull
2007-09-27 01:17:51 · update #1
A strong black woman wouldnt put up with it..matter fact NO strong woman would. A strong woman would have gotten rid of him long ago. Your friend is smart and perhaps strong but not when it comes to him. She has a weakness for him or too afraid to go at it alone. Hopefully she will smell the coffee before he infects her with an STD. All the degrees in the world can't give you self esteem or self respect
2007-09-27 01:05:18 · answer #1 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Did you ever consider that perhaps one of the things that makes this woman so remarkable is her character? Yeah her husband is unfaithful, yeah she has grounds for divorce, yet she chooses to remain in her marriage. Judging by the answers being given to this question, this completely baffles some of you. Someone even had the gall to suggest educating this woman, who happens to hold several degrees. Maybe she chooses to stay with her husband for the sake of their children, maybe she has a deep faith in God, and she believes she is doing the right thing. Without knowing this woman I can only speculate her motives. But I am fairly certain that her reasons for staying with her husband have to do with far more than just thinking of herself... and the sad thing is it's inconceivable to a lot of people.
2007-09-27 08:32:56 · answer #2 · answered by mt75689 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly...how do you know her husband always cheated on her but she doesn't??
I do know that some people are so "old fashioned" that they put up with abuse, infidelity, control freaks, and what have you because of how they were brought up...you don't divorce.. you stick with it type sentiments.
Just be there as a friend mostly, be there for her to talk to and comfort her. I know that if I were her and my husband was cheating I would want to know about ALL of them...of course my husband wouldn't have the chance to do it a second time, but thats just me.
2007-09-27 08:20:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It has to be her decision to leave, and if you try to force the issue, she may no longer be your friend. All you can do is be her friend and be there if she needs you.
It's not just black women who tolerate this. It's all races of women, and some men. Pardon the pun, but it's not just black and white. People shouldn't treat others with such disrespect, but a person has to respect themselves before they demand respect from those around them.
2007-09-27 08:04:22 · answer #4 · answered by Allison P 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Until she realizes her worth, you can't do anything. She probably has developed low-self esteem of herself. It could be that she truly loves her husband regardless to what he does. As a friend, don't talk negative to her because that will only make her self esteem lower. Be there for her and maybe, just maybe one day she will realize that she deserves better than what she has(husband).
2007-09-27 08:11:15 · answer #5 · answered by Kasey 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The thing is she has been w/ him so long she doesn't know anything else, or scared to leave cuz its been so long... I can bet that she DOES know of everytime he cheated just doesn't wanna admitt to it... she loves him, who knows why but she does.
You can try talkin w/ her and telling her she can do so much better but that doesn't mean she'll take the advice but it never hurts to throw ur 2 cents in.
2007-09-27 08:17:25 · answer #6 · answered by NONAME 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her communicate with her educate her, get her to see that she is being abused and used and should file for divorce and stop taking crap and she can be independent and have a happy life. Its never too late.
2007-09-27 08:02:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
perhaps she knows everything about it,but like what you said shes been married for 28 years,so maybe she just keep quite and ignore her husband.does you tried to talk to her?
2007-09-27 08:35:53 · answer #8 · answered by icepink 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she realizes that even if he's damaged he still comes home to her. You can't always understand what other people do, so don't sit in judgment and mind your own business.
2007-09-27 08:13:56 · answer #9 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋