I have a 12 yr old cousin whom i adore. He has alot of problems at home with two parents that never get along and do not live together. His mom lives with his Grandma who is severely depressed since she lost her husband last year. Whenever Christmas or his birthday roll around, i always send him a gift for each, even thought they are only a month apart. Previously i would ask him what he wanted and just send it. It's usually a new PSP game or a game for his Xbox. They usually run me about $50 so i send him something smaller for the other occasion. I know he loves me but he never even lets me know when he receives it and he certainly has never said thank you. I live in Florida and he lives in Michigan. I know he was upset when i moved out of state since he would call me out of the blue to go out to eat or he would just stop by on his bicycle just to say hi. Any suggestions on how i can avoid hurting his feelings since he really is just a kid & let him know he's being impolite?
2007-09-27 00:04:35 · 6 answers · asked by PicaSSo of Parta PlnN 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
At the age of 12, he should know that a thank you note is appropriate or at the very least a phone call. As soon as I was old enough to write, my mother made me write thank you notes.
If he doesn't know this yet, he's either really ungrateful or nobody has ever taught him.
Next time, don't send him a package. When he calls wondering about it, just say "Well I didn't know that you were really into that anymore. You didn't seem to care much about the last few I sent."
2007-09-27 00:10:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, it sounds like this boy is living in a pretty sad situation right now. Children are a product of their environment. If a parent or other loving adult isn't teaching him to be appreciative by calling you and thanking you or sending a thank you card, he's not even going to know that he should do it. It sounds like you might be the one who knows proper manners and maybe you should nicely tell him that when he receives gifts, a thank you is ALWAYS to follow. 12 years old is very young and no kid this age is going to think about etiquette unless it's taught to him. Blame the parents, not him.
2007-09-27 01:32:41 · answer #2 · answered by See Dee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone abandons him and you want him to rise above that and send you a thank you card? Who is it that is going to teach him basic manners? Its not something instinctively learned during the walking and talking stage.
I suggest you do a couple of things if you really care about this kid. First acknowledge what he must be going through. Everyone who loves him, leaves him. His grandpa dies, his father leaves and you move. And he's 12. My guess is that he's a mess.
Then call him shortly after the gift was sent, and ask him if he got it, if its what he wanted and if he liked it. If he doesn't say thank you right then, tell him to say thank you. Then send him a box of thank you cards, with your address and a stamp on them.
I'm not excusing his behavior, but I think you aren't looking at the whole picture. Kids have to be taught this stuff, and if mom and dad are too busy with their own lives, then the small stuff gets ignored. You need to step up to the plate.
2007-09-27 00:18:12 · answer #3 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If he has never been taught to say thank you and that a note is appropriate then he probably really doesn't know, or at least doesn't think about it. The way children act is greatly shaped by what parents do.
2007-09-27 01:01:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately many of the kids I have met are like this. The ones I am trying to raise are like this no matter how much I tell them it is wrong. Hey, even adults are like this! Sometimes it takes a while to sink in, You can only hope that some day he gets it!
2007-09-27 00:16:49 · answer #5 · answered by chefddr 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no one has taught him how to send or say a thank you.
2007-09-27 00:31:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋