People who have been through a divorce:?

Question

At what point did you realize that your marriage was really over and that you wanted out?

Answer 1

well, I've been through two divorces...The first one was when I was really young(21) we'd only been married for 5 months when I caught her in a hotel room-in the town we lived in- with two construction workers. That pretty much told me there and then that I'd probably want out of that relationship. The second divorce was two years ago, and my ex wife and I'd been together for six years. She'd grown increasingly unhappy, Mainly due to the fact that I wasn't home much because of my profession. I work construction, and I'm gone during the week a lot, but that's only 8 months out of the year. She'd known that from the start, and was fine with it in the beginning. At the time she had a full time job, and so the time away wasn't too terribly bad. Two years before we divorced, she quit her job for 'health' reasons. She then basically stayed at home, all the time, and she eventually was diagnosed with clinical depression. I tried as hard as I could to not be gone as much, but even when I was home, it was like walking on eggshells around her. You'd never know what'd set her off, so our lines of communication broke down. Then, she'd started thinking I was cheating on her when I did work late, and she'd even go as far as driving to the jobsite I was at, even if I'd just hung up the phone telling her what I was doing. She became a recluse, didn't want to go out anywhere, and didn't even want to socialize with family and friends. Eventually, it all came to a head, and she told me she was going to leave. I told her fine, let's separate for a while, maybe the time apart would do us some good. She, on the other hand, while I was working, moved. Totally. Took pretty much everything. I came home to 1 chair, 1 tv, a love seat, and a bed(no sheets). I had a few dishes, no knives, very little silverware, little food, and a whole lot of bills stacked up on the lone chair. Again, that right there was enough for me to say it was over, especially since the day she picked to do all this was my 30th birthday. I didn't ask for a divorce until two weeks later when I found out she was dating someone else...

I don't know what kind of answer you're looking for, but for me, the reasons for getting a divorce have been obvious. I hope that this may have helped you. I know I've learned a lot from my past.

Answer 2

So many times before I actually did go The last time was when he told, or rather demanded of me not to take up a very good joboffer I'd received but to be a homemaker, oh yes and I could pay my way by eating up my share of the house he was not going to provide for me. After all working full time and doing all the household chores is too much hard work
That is when I saw the real emotional vampire, lazy blackmailer and manipulative b*stard. A week later we were history

Answer 3

Actually, the first time he wanted the divorce and I didn't know until I was in the hospital and I was informed I couldn't see my baby boy because he had gotten full custody and filed for a divorce (with never notifying me so I could defend myself!), he was a real JERK! The second time, when I woke up and realized that abusers never stop being abusers and I was going to die if I stayed with his sorry A**

Answer 4

The night that I cooked a wonderful dinner, set a romantic table, dressed in a sexy nightie, turned down the bed and he came home with a friend. He took a look around and invited him to stay. Which he did. And stayed. And stayed.

I turned up the lights, gave my part of the dinner to the friend, changed clothes and left.

After 20years and this happening repeatedly, I finally got the message.

Answer 5

i could have dealt with the arguments, and that things didn't always go right because that's life, but when he cheated and left to be with her, i finally gave up hoping and filed for divorce. anything can be worked out in a marriage, except betrayal.

Answer 6

The drinking and being abusive to me became such a routine for him, that I got to the point where I felt he loved his alcohol more than he loved me!!

I even recorded it because he said he did not remember treating me that way. Then he tried to act like it wasn't his voice!! I just told him , "Well whoever is doing this to me lives in this house, so I am leaving!" and walked out for good!!

Answer 7

I don't think there was a defining moment for me. It was more like a slow decline, realizing how far apart we had grown, how self-centered he was, how little he cared about me, etc.
I think it took me a lot longer to wake up to it and accept it than it should have. But I am SO glad I finally did.

Answer 8

After four years of counselling - obviously really tried. Too many sorrys and feeling like I was living with a friend or flatmate rather than a partner.

Answer 9

When I stopped crying....That was when I knew I was no longer in love with him. I knew at that moment I did not want to be with him no longer and I wanted out. When you still cry over someone than your not going to leave but when you finally had enough. The tears seem to stop.

Answer 10

It is when you donot respect and love each other.
When a emotional divorce happens, before the legal one.
Its when you start cheating.
and when you feellivingwith the partner is life threatening.