i'm married and tired of all the fighting ,a friend came back into my life what should i do?

Question

i'v been with my husband since i was 18 years old i'm 32 now.he is always putting me down and swearing on me,telling me i'm lazy and i'm a s**t and says worse stuff .he has no respect for anyone nor himself. when he tells me to do things i always jump ,if i dont do things he gets mad and says things.we sleep in seperate bedrooms (due to snoring) so he says but when he wants s*x he'l get it after he is plzed he'l get up walk away tell me to finish myself....i'v met a guy we both knew each other way back when we were 14.he came back into my life over the summer we talk alot but we never met yet because of the distance and he dont want me getting in trouble .he wants me to get rid of hubby for me and he wants to start getting serious with me. all hubby and i do is fight my mom ,friends and brothers g/f tell me to leave hubby.they say i'l be beter off .they dont know about this other guy yet.i also have 2 children a boy 10 and a girl 4 ,my son is like his dad puts everyone down.

i asked him to go to marriage coucelling he said no.he's always been this way.

Answer 1

you certainly don't deserve to be treated like this,and your children are seeing it & hearing it too,wich is going to affect thier lives,get out of this relationship,your hubby obviously has no respect for you or concerns about your feelings,running you down will only make you feel bad about yourself,he's running you down b'cause he's feeling like crap & wants you to feel that way too!! do you love him,do you want to try and work things out? if not,leave,if you do,you need to talk with him,although it does'nt sound much like he'd listen anyway,things could get worse & you must think of your children's welfare,it's good you have a friend,maybe you could start a new life and be happier?

Answer 2

Get counseling. Now. You are in an emotionally abusive relationship; you are emotionally starved and your self-esteem is suffering. The most heart-breaking thing of this is that your children need counseling as well, to break the cycle. The most important thing, however, is that you need to stop being in relationships for a while; get to know the woman in the mirror. You married REALLY young; you have had to be an adult extremely fast, as well as never truly being in a healthy relationship. A counselor will help you grow as a person, and help you to determine what course of action you should take. In the meantime, though your friend seems like a life raft, make sure the boat is not as bad as the ship you're jumping! Many communities have counseling that has a sliding pay scale; take advantage of it. Good luck and God bless.

Answer 3

To be honest I would always advocate that you get out first and then examine other options. In your case I am going to say that you should leave this son of a B&*#$ and just do whatever you have to - he doesnt deserve to be with anyone.
Except maybe some real ballbreaker who would destroy him.
Your sons father may have planted all the seeds for your son to grow into an identical pig, but you are empowering it to happen by STAYING THERE.
Get out while you still can, for the sake of the kids if nothing else.
The one thing I will say though is that you are thinking about jumping into another relationship to escape the one you are in - that rarely ever works.
Get away from that disgusting husband of yours.

Answer 4

Sometimes it is best to get away from situations like this because it is actually bad for the children. Some say you should "work on your marriage", but if it that broke it might not have any value. Look at your own self-esteem and decide with your mind and not your heart. Consider all the implications, including how the children will fare, then do what you have to do.

Answer 5

Tell him that he can always be that way by himself then. Why did you ever have children with a man that treated you like that. He would never be allowed in my bed. I would have told him a long time ago, "If I am that bad, then leave!" Your children are going to grow up thinking that is normal for a relationship. They will never be happy either, because they will not know respect, and true love!!

Answer 6

You need family counseling especially for your marriage. Of course your son is like his Dad, who else can he pattern after? His Dad is teaching him how to treat a woman . Your daughter is learning that this type of behavior is OK because she sees her Mother living it every day. Get help now before it is to late. Divorce will teach your kids that if you don't like something you just walk away. You took the responsibility to be parents. A parents job is to teach their children how to live life and survive. Think about what you are teaching them .

Answer 7

It is useless coming here asking a question about being a s1ut in your marriage. Maybe your husband is right, if that is what he really said.

You need to leave your husband before your start with someone else, or otherwise you are a s1ut.

Try to be honest next time. It will actually help you.

Answer 8

your children are even beginning to pick up on their dad's behavior, if he will not go to therapy and doesn't care, file for divorce first before starting any new relationship. the new man just doesn't want any trouble. before u can begin something new u have to finish what your in now.

Answer 9

just leave your husband, before your son gets completely destroyed by such a bad example.

Answer 10

Run while you can. He is an abuser. may not be physical but mental and verbal can be just as bad. just look at your son. get out for his sake as well as yours and your daughters.-god bless you.