Do you think its ok to live with your boyfriend?
I know that sounds like an immature question, but this is our second time around for both of us, and I have 2 children from my first marriage.
The kids get along well with him etc ....there are no problems ....but I just wonder if Im setting the 'right' example by living with him.....and not being married or at least engaged?
2007-09-26 21:50:21 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
forgot to mention ..we have been together for 2 years
2007-09-26 21:50:53 · update #1
TEENIE..............FYI.....I was married to an abusive man for over 10 years. I have now found a man who adores me and my children. I would hardly call that jumping from man to man.
I am considering my children that is why I asked for some opinions...............not judgements from people who clearly dont understand.
2007-09-26 22:22:42 · update #2
Two years is enough time to say that you really know the person, and if it still seems like a good idea, then please do so.
By the way, I think that you would be providing a much better example now than you would have been by staying in an abusive marriage.
The right example is to be happy, and to have the sort of relationship that you would want your children to have...it does not involve checking a marriage license everyday, or having a big wedding album in the closet. Live your life, and enjoy it, your kids will follow that example much more easily than they will a long list of rules devised by people who aren't in their lives.
2007-09-26 22:57:01 · answer #1 · answered by Joe 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I really dont think that having a "live-in" is ever a good example for kids ( ever hear the expression " why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free" )? It shows them that a commitment isnt required for a sexaul relationship. Also, they have been through drama with the abusive past relationship. I dont think that exposing them to a possible second is fair to them. Not to say that the new guy will ever be abusive. But ALL relationships have bumps and arguments ( that they will have to listen to).I say give it a couple of more years, engaged maybe, but living apart. good-luck.
2007-09-27 10:26:36 · answer #2 · answered by undone 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Living together is just as big a commitment as marriage especially if there is children involved. Have you asked your children what they think about this idea. Maybe the four of you should sit down and discuss it. It sounds to me as if everything would be OK. If you are a good kind caring loving mum who puts the kids first that to me is the "right" example.
You go girlfriend have a great life and love each other heaps.
2007-09-27 07:30:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
What is wrong with not marrying? My parents lived together for 31 years before getting hitched (second time round for both as well) My brother did not get married until after 10 years and two children. I live with my BF unmarried No problems
2007-09-27 05:04:52 · answer #4 · answered by MissE 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I don't think it's a straight yes or no. It has both good and bad points. Good is to test out whether you two are really compatable and whether there is something you don't know about him. Bad is it'd bring you even more bonded to him. The first step to ensure things goes smoother, I think is to consider the character of him. It's hard to decide whether to marry someone, isn't it?
I think if you need to move together without marriage, it is important to explain to your children both good side and bad side of such action so that they understand why you are doing it and they in the future, being rational thinker would make reasonable choices with consideration of consequences.
2007-09-27 05:08:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
After two year, you should both know if you feel enough for each other to spend your lives together. Why not just get married? If your children are living with you, I would consider this situation very carefully.
2007-09-27 04:53:58 · answer #6 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why do so many women give themselves away so freely.Sure you will hear of a few that don't get married and it work out but look at how many did not work out and had kids together. Now these same women with the kids are living with another man and will have a kid with him as well. If the women of today can't see what is wrong with moving from man to man then we as women are in a lot of trouble. American women are looked down on for this it's what the rest of the world sees. As an American woman myself i care what the rest of the world thinks of me it's a shame that other women don't. It's called respecting yourself and any woman who gives me a thumbs down does not respect herself enough.
2007-09-27 05:19:11 · answer #7 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋
I'm sorry but there is nothing wrong with living with someone before marriage, society has changed and by the time your kids grow up and are old enough to have relationships they will think nothing of moving in with their partner. It is not a sin, it is not illegal, so therefore, not wrong.
2007-09-27 06:49:31 · answer #8 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IMO, you never REALLY know someone until you live w/ them, no matter what your age. Don't get married before you do. A divorce would be much harder on the kids than what you think would be a bad example- living with him.
2007-09-27 05:02:37 · answer #9 · answered by 8 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think to this point you are not a teenager to be fulling around with guys, you have kids already and if you're not sure don't do it until you and him are ready to get married. To thins point i think is the best thing you can do...
2007-09-27 04:58:36 · answer #10 · answered by Maggie 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋