Why do people do foolish things like destroy their family's them blame the ones who hold them responsible?

Question

I had an affair at the time 11 year old found me at it and told his father!
His father through me out onto the streets literally and divorced me, took almost everything we owned.
I married the O/man who at the time I thought I was in love with, I know it was a fantasy!

My now 13 year old son when his father made him visit me drove our car through our home, and because it was considered ownership vandalism, would not pay the policy over 800K, we went bankrupt last week. My 2nd husband and I am getting divorced!

I don't have a job now I hit my son and was arrested and plead guilty, so I can't be bonded, and broke now.

I want to know why so many people tell you who never had a child or felt it grow in your belly or the day you gave birth to it,Why everyone says cut your losses, walk away!

I'm 51, he's my only child how can I without hurting or going crazy?
He was a good boy until I screwed up so why should he suffer for my mistakes, why do I blame him and not myself?

Answer 1

Its just natural for people to blame others, especially those closest to us, for our shortcomings instead of blaming ourselves. To ourselves we are perfect and can do no wrong. You have cleared the first hurdle and taken responsibilty for your actions but time has come to put all this behind you and move on beyond it. You cant undo whats already been done and any guilt trip wont help either, so learn from it and move on. You may need professionalhelp of some kind to achieve this but do whatever it takes to get a new dream and set new goals and just do it. Your son will come around on his own if thats what he wants, but it will take him some time to get over what happened and rebuild his own trust in you again but you must not wait for this to happen. Move on and quit moping over this as all the worrying and guilt trips wont change a thing. Its just part of lifes experiences and makes us what we are. Good luck

Answer 2

RE: I even have cheated on my husband and destroyed my family participants. is there ANY thank you to make issues actual? I went out with acquaintances after artwork and while all of them left, I suddenly met this guy i knew in college. I don't understand how i ought to be so silly, yet 30 min later i'm in a lodge room with him and we're having unprotected s*x..(sorry for the information) when I didn't come homestead my husband...

Answer 3

I feel for you. I'm sorry you had to pay so heavily for one mistake. God bless you.

Answer 4

cuz its always easier to blame someone else. its hard to admit that you have a problem!