He comes home in 4 months. I know its a long time away. I love him so much, and miss him more and more everyday. I am actually nervous to see him. I have become independant while hes been gone because i have no other choice but to be. Will we have to readjust to eachother? I know that when i see him, everything will fall into place. But is being nervous normal??
2007-09-26 18:40:45 · 13 answers · asked by Jessie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am in Iraq, but I have already deployed to Afghanistan. The adjustment isnt hard, its just that you have to get back into the groove of having your husband home again. My wife was so happy to see me and I knew that I was going to have to slowly get back into the house, if you know what I mean. You wives have to become independent, and we know that. I am going home next month and they tell us that we dont need to come home and try to take control, that you guys have been in control the whoel time. We have to get back into the groove of being home. The house is your domain, or as we say, Area of Operation, and we have to get used to it again, he he.
Dont worry, everything will be fine. When I got home the first time, it was weird, I had to remember where the dishes were, sounds weird but its true. Our minds go through a lot when we are deployed. Just give him time and everything will be fine. Just have to adjust. Good Luck. I cant wait to get home and I know that you hubby is the same way.
2007-09-26 21:19:08 · answer #1 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jess,
It is a well known fact that a return from deployment causes significant stress in a marriage even between two people who love each other.
I would strongly encourage you to set up marriage counseling before he comes home for shortly after his return (a month or so)...that will give you enough time to try to settle into a routine and observe potential points of conflict.
It may be the case that there isn't any conflict (unlikely as all marriage, no matter how solid, has some sort of tension or areas that could use improvement) but I would say that to support your soldier husband I would get him in therapy ASAP upon his return so that he can have a forum to talk about his internal processes--even if the forum is marriage counseling...
One of the biggest problems when the military person comes home is that the spouse hopes everything will go back to "normal" but the military person has a new "normal"...and sometimes has a difficult time adjusting to the idea that taking out the trash is a priority when their priority for so long has been just "stay alive".
Counseling can aide you in working out these differences in outlook, and counseling can provide a forum for hubby to discuss his Iraq experience if necessary..and finally having that additional support while you settle in will be invaluable.
Best wishes.
2007-09-26 20:07:30 · answer #2 · answered by joellemoe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It will only be weird if you all want it to be ;-) When you see him for the first time, the butterflies will fly away as he holds you in his arms. He can't wait to see you either, I'll bet. And I believe he'll be proud of your newfound independence. My evil hubby is even proud of my independent ways. So heck, there's nothing to worry about there. He may be feeling a little anxious about seeing you after a lengthy time, too. Make him feel like he's finally come home, back to his comfy couch and TV. Cuddle. Flirt. And if you are a little nervous, so what? He'll enjoy "protecting" you. He's been practicing that for some time now. Have fun!
2007-09-26 19:00:43 · answer #3 · answered by Chiksita 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, being nervous is normal! You will have to readjust to each other, you are now BOTH used to not having each other in your day to day life, there is going to probably be some conflict. If it seems like he's more angry then usual, you may have to seek counseling with him, and be aware of post traumatic stress. He may seem just as nervous as you, just take it slow, don't rush into things, but be sure to tell him how happy you are to have him home.
2007-09-26 18:45:55 · answer #4 · answered by Zyggy 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course is normal. I´ve heard that people coming from war need some therapy to readjust their lives. You have some changes he has too for sure. But more than that is going to be the best moment in your life. Enjoy it!...
2007-09-26 18:48:43 · answer #5 · answered by jackielafemme 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes been nervous is normal because youw on't know how he will react when he's at home and not there anymore. Just try to be there for him by listening to him, hugging him and telling him you love him. ALso don't tell him your independent because he left and nag on him about that because it's not his fault he left. But you and him will do all right as long as you communicate with each other. Want to chat more just IM me anytime
2007-09-26 18:51:24 · answer #6 · answered by Always ready for anything 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-05 10:38:18 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on his experiences he's had over there. Some men are okay whereas others aren't. Some come home and have major problems like psych problems from the trauma of the killings. Some have worse problems but I won't speak on that b/c I don't want to have you wondering or worried. It would be best if you didn't talk to him about the killings b/c it may make the both of you sad. I hope he will be alright and you to can be as happy as you were before he left!! Good luck!!:)(:
2007-09-26 18:45:33 · answer #8 · answered by ♥♥Mommy to 2 Divas♥♥ 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
It may not all fall into place, there will probably be some adjustment. It will be worth it to try to work through tho. It is good you have become independant, but therefore you have changed and he probably has too.
2007-09-26 18:46:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You had no other choice but to become independent! Dang! You make it sound so horrible.
You guys will be fine if you love each other. It will be like he never left.
2007-09-26 18:44:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋