My husband never wants sex with me, and tries to blame it on his medication, but I notice whenever I am asleep or not home he overloads on the porn. He tries to swear that he doesn't jerk off, but I know he does. What the hell is wrong with him, I know alot of other men that would love to be with me. I am not trying to sound cockey, but I am not unattractive and the rare times we do have sex I always ignitiate it, and he cannot ejaculate. Are there any other men that have this problem as to where they would rather jerk off then f***k their wife.
2007-09-26 18:19:02 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
BTW I never said I was a 10 or anything but I am not ugly and I get noticed alot, you can see my pic
2007-09-26 18:35:16 · update #1
He is addicted to porn and unfortunately prefers it to real life sex with a human. It's so much easier! So much less work! If he is unwilling to listen to you or consider stopping, I suggest you go to counseling without him to find out more about how you can have the kind of life and relationship you would like.
2007-09-26 18:24:58 · answer #1 · answered by surlygurl 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
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2016-07-20 04:56:56 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the EXACT same problem with my ex boyfriend of 7 years. I mean exact.... his computer was full of internet porn, and before the internet was big, he had 200 copies of videos he'd made from renting pornos. I know how you feel because I used to feel like he didn't desire me, yet others did and it was tempting, because I wanted to feel desireable. I took it as a huge personal rejection. He was also the only guy I was ever with who could not ejaculate. I honestly think some men have conditioned themself to only be able to get off on porn. I don't know why your husband is lying about whacking off. Of course he's doing that - otherwise why would he be looking up porn in the first place but to get excited??? My ex bf openly did, but he would get embarrassed if I walked in on him sitting on the computer doing it. I loved him so much, I'd take him to strip bars because that got him excited too. That way when we got home at least I could have some...
I think your husband needs some sort of sexual therapy. I know my ex bf did, but we didn't have the financial resources to do anything like that. His lack of wanting me sexually was one of the reasons I left. Now I am happily married to a husband that wants it way more than even I can do it.
Is your husband on anti-depressants?? Because if he is, those do make men have a harder time (no pun intended) staying hard and ejaculating. If his meds are really an issue, he should have his doctor switch him to one that won't have sexual dysfunction as a side effect.
You also may want to try doing things to spice it up like maybe mood lighting (candles), sexy lingerie, etc. Good luck I know how difficult it is!!! Email me if you want to talk...
2007-09-26 18:31:17 · answer #3 · answered by Wintergirl 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
it's simple. He's a porn addict. He prefers to masterbate than make love to you.
Ask him if he would like to do some of the things they do in the porn video, get freaky with him, buy a vcr/dvd recorder set it up in the bedroom, and see what he'll do. If he still chooses not to make love to you. go to a marriage counseler,
me I'm a bit freaky, I love sex and Ido not have a problem getting off, but I really don't watch porn much. I'de rather make home porn, watch it and see what pleases my partner. expressions are worth 10,000 words. I learn what works and don't work. and no I don't have a collection of home porn. it something I recently started, and my partner really got into it, I'm not that kind of freak, only a freak in the bedroom.
2007-09-26 19:55:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like the situation where he is into something that the two of you aren't doing together. Maybe he's got a little interest in something. Ask if the two of you might try watching some porn together instead of him going solo. He might just be a little unsure of how to ask you for what he's dying to try. Be a little bold and bring home some porn that is interesting to you and drop the megahint that he needs to come to bed more often....... ;)
2007-09-26 18:43:42 · answer #5 · answered by RoseRed 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had this problem with my boyfriend. Like you, I attract a lot of men that would love to be with me. I told him this and gave him an ultimatum...me or porn. He chose me! Now he could care less if he has the porn and doesnt even try to download it. We have an agreement that he doesnt watch it and I am always available to him when he wants sex or a job done.
Put your husband in his place or go find a man who won't disrespect you. He should appreciate what he has!!
2007-09-26 18:35:30 · answer #6 · answered by Summer 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Medication, my not be the problem, but a harsh word, that you said without thinking or meant to say, a harsh word will last more than that medication that hes taking. That has taken him to the dark room of (world of porn). Think back, of times that you and your husband were enjoying yourselfs, and all of a sudden he stopped and unable to finished. So try to recall your convection on that day that it all started to take place. Think of words that were said, size, or time of the act of love, or old lovers, and such. Good luck.. Or you might want of make a home (dvd) of yourself and pop it in your dvd, and tell your husband, ( will if i can't beat them, might as well join them).
2007-09-26 23:54:48 · answer #7 · answered by meatball288001 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Porn is an addiction. It presents all the titillation without the demand for performance.
There are support groups, but the first step is for him to recognize that he has a problem. You can take advantage of the knowledge these support groups offer, though.
He probably will not recognize that it is a problem until you have it out with him, and failing that, move out.
Another thing you might want to do is talk to his doctors and tell them what is going on. They can shift the meds to remove the chemical load on his little brain.
2007-09-26 18:26:34 · answer #8 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It all depends on what the wife looks like when it comes to making a decision whether one 'jerks off' or does the real deed with her!
I know what preference I'd decide in many instances!!!
Plus I rarely believe anyone when they claim (from behind a computer screen) to be another 10 - as per Bo Derek!
2007-09-26 18:31:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Sounds like he has an addiction. Get him to go see a therapist, and both of you go to marriage counseling.
Remember, if he is addicted, he can't help himself right now and needs help...both from you and from a professional to get through it.
One of the reasons porn is addicting is the adrenaline and endorphine rush without much effort on his part. Get him inovled in some sort of physical activity while getting help...running or cycling...which also release endorphines and adrenaline, but in a more healthy way.
2007-09-26 18:26:54 · answer #10 · answered by Greenman 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋