My spouse pays more attention to what I am doing then what the kids are doing. I ask him to guide the kids and help out and he says, "why they have brains?" But he watches my every move, asks me why am I doing this or why am I doing that...yet he can't bother to get the the kids doing their homework or going to bed when they are tired. He's more concerned with controlling me (his wife, an adult) then helping with the kids. He denies controlling me when I confront him, by either lieing or saying he worded something wrong. The other thing is the kids can sense this and use it for their advantage (but thank god they are good kids). The other night after I told my son 3 times to go to bed they were carrying on in the kitchen and I said why don't u spport me in parenting? Hoping he would also say, your ma said "go to bed". Instead his response was well if he can't get up for school then it's his problem. Are men really that fffffing stupid Or WHAT?
2007-09-26 18:09:27 · 12 answers · asked by Cyndia 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I've appreciated all the comments thus far. I was particularly floored by the one comment about him not taking an interest in parenting and acting like a smart a$$. My biggest beef with him has always been his smart A$$ ways! Unfortunely he's got friend who thing he's the funniest jerk in the world. I don't find his comments funny at all...mostly they are rude. And, he's got this thing where he changes the words to songs abd sings to the radio...but most of the time the lyrics he choses are stuff that is very negative and directed at women and I think to me. I asked him this the other day and he said I can sing what I want and said I was paranoid! Also one time I did ask him to leave and he said he would never and if I did not want to make it work then I had to leave. The songs he sings are directed at me but he says they are not....vulgar and demeaning stuff.
2007-09-26 18:43:52 · update #1
Cyndia ~ There is no such thing as "when" has controlling behavior gone too far. There is NEVER room for controlling behavior in a relationship. They are supposed to be 50/50 ... PERIOD!! That includes give and take, raising children, and keeping up the home. Please don't take this as me being rude ... but I honestly have to say that if you need to ask this question here from total strangers there is definitely something wrong.
Any man who blatantly refuses to take a healthy part in raising his children has a problem. The response he gave about going to bed made me feel sick. It wasn't like a caring father at all ... it was more like a smart a** comment from a snotty older brother or sister. From what I read it seems he has no loving tie to his children at all. And being that he puts all his energy into obsessing over your every move ~ I'd say he needs some serious help.
You need to give him an ultimatum. Either he changes his bizarre behavior and puts more energy and time into his children .... or you need to leave before you waste anymore of your precious life with a man who doesn't care enough about you OR his children to get himself straightened out.
Best of luck ...
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2007-09-26 18:34:41 · answer #1 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Believe me I see precisely what you notice with brand new morality and the best way the younger men and women are behaving, however you need to additionally see that those "youngsters'" mother and father also are younger and so they have been introduced up as they're mentioning those youngsters now. Something approximately "an apple does no longer fall a long way from the tree". With regards to God, I have lived a longevity already and this God remains to be the identical, no longer doing whatever approximately what's ever going worst daily. God does no longer have any manage on what individuals are doing otherwise God could no longer be letting the very younger and blameless undergo even as apparently beneficial the evil doers with repute, cash, and fortune. I were waking up every morning having the sensation that the sector will finish, however unfortunately, it is only an additional day with morality ever on its slide down within the abyss.
2016-09-05 09:24:09 · answer #2 · answered by hickey 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most men AREN'T that stupid ,unfortunately for you ,yours is ! He falls into the categories that are nonaffectionately known as ..
Cold-hearted ,self-centered,egotistical,irresponsible,abusive,manipulative,
untrustworthy,hateful,nondeserving,(probably)cheating,
backstabbing,as*hole!
Hey ma'am ,I could go on forever ripping on your LOSER husband but you got the picture before you asked the ? so do your KIDS and yourelf a fav & let him go PERMANENTLY !
Not until you get a restraining order against him for your kids & yourself because he's just the type of fruitcake that would do some sick sh*t ! Seen it happen so don't be a dumbas* and think it will all get better .
You sound like a heckuva catch ,even with kids and you can find someone out there that will treat your kids & yourself so much better on their bad days that that Fu*ktard you're hitched to EVER DID!!
I hope & pray that you get two get what you deserve b/c youshould be getting SOOO much more.Him , well he'll get his ...Karma's kinda funny like that !
Best of luck!
2007-09-26 18:28:29 · answer #3 · answered by Waterbearer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is unacceptable behavior from a man who should be acting as a father to the children he helped create. If he can't refrain from his controlling behavior or crude and cruel comments, you should tell him that you will both be attending marriage counseling or you will take the children and leave. In the meantime, you should be documenting his comments and behavior and lack of participation in his children's lives. Of course, it is up to you to decide what is best for you and your children. I personally would not want to set the example for my son that it was ok to be treated like that or to treat others like that. Consider it from all angles. I hope I have helped in some way.
2007-09-26 19:06:36 · answer #4 · answered by kendi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1... After telling him to do something 3 times, it is time for a swat or some other punishment, like the removal of a favorite toy. Carrot and stick.
2... Sounds like you need marriage counseling... you need a professional referee to help you two agree on common ground.
3... If he insists on following you around, getting under foot, undermining discipline and NOT helping you, you need to push back and tell him where to get off.
I would suggest not being available to him at bedtime until you get the help... either lock him out of the bedroom or sleep elsewhere.
Yes, men are friggin' stupid. Dogs are smarter.
2007-09-26 18:20:38 · answer #5 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It seems that they are either the type that stay on the kids butts, or they just don't participate. As it has been noted many times, they always have sex on the brain, so the kids are either a nuisance or they are just part of the price you pay to get some!!
I'll bet that if you said, either you tell him to get to bed, or you will not be touching me tonight, he would probably have physically put the kids to bed!!!
2007-09-26 18:17:53 · answer #6 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband does need to take part in the child raising and discipline. Explain to him that your children would benefit greatly by him being more involved. Also, avoid putting each other down in front of your children. This sets a bad example for them. God bless!
2007-09-26 18:35:42 · answer #7 · answered by Virginia B (John 16:33) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That sounds like a monkey on your back...He either thinks you are cheating or has some kind of trust issues...Not good. Talk to him about what the problem is.
2007-09-26 18:14:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can tell that your husband's controlling behavior has already gone too far when you can not tolerate it anymore.
2007-09-26 18:22:19 · answer #9 · answered by Belen 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Controlling behavior is ALREADY too far
2007-09-26 18:28:58 · answer #10 · answered by Experto Credo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋