I am 22 years old and i have been married for about a year now, we dated 3 years before we got married. My husband and i would like to start trying for a baby. My biggest concern is how to tell my mother and father this. I love them both very much and would like to include them. They are not against us starting a family, just not right now. I am going for a BBA right now and my husband has had a steady, well paying job for 2 years now. How do i go about telling my parents so that they dont make this an unpleasant expierence for everyone?
2007-09-26 17:43:09 · 21 answers · asked by Ash 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Trying to Conceive
I would just tell them, but don't put it as a question or like you are looking for their opinion-say it as a statement. Use a lot of "we are" "we have" "we decided" and make it seem like it's already a done deal. For instance:
We are going to have a baby. We started trying last month. We are looking forward to adding to our family and wanted to let you know that you will be granparents!
If they try to say anything negative I would just politely let them know that you and your husband have already made the decision and while you appreciate their input the decision has already been made.
I know what you're going through. When we told my parents back in February that we were trying for our second they weren't exactly amused, but I pretty much just told them to get happy or get over it....they got happy, and can't wait to find out if our newest baby is going to be a boy or a girl!
2007-09-26 17:57:38 · answer #1 · answered by lovelymrsm 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them after you get pregnant and then they really cant say much... other wise the good way of handling this is that tell them it what you guys want, and think u guys can make it.. tell them you wanna be a family and make a family of your own.. and you have a right to do so your married... Personally i'd tell them to shuvel it cause right now they have there life and you got yours.. I can see were ther comming from they just want you to have a career before bringing a child in this word but if you feel you can do it the so be it. they may say well were not gonna help!! what ever then you guys pull the strings and work around jobs and make sure your husband knows what hes doing before you let him alone with a baby just because mothers are so very picky!!!!lol but just tell them what do you have to loose they'll eventually fall in love with your blessing.... and help you out either way.... they put the threat into you and your suppose to be scared, its hard but its not that hard theres so many others doing it...
2007-09-26 17:55:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
After the fact. As long as you are supporting yourselves and do not need help from your parents, it shouldn't be any of their business. But realize that a baby takes up alot of time and it is really hard to study when a baby eats and poops every two hours around the clock. You will be sleep deprived and brain dead. At one point my little girl was didn't seem to sleep at all, my husband worked nights and came in around 2 am. He woke her up one night and I called him by the dog's name. Sleep is a luxury when they are small. Wouldn't trade my 3 for the world, but infancy is really hard. Not to mention the morning sickness and everything else that goes on with pregnancy. How long before you have your BBA?
Good luck!
2007-09-26 17:51:48 · answer #3 · answered by Nicole 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Invite them over for dinner and tell them that you've got some wonderful news to share with them. Then tell them that you and your husband have decided to start trying for a family. They can have their feelings about it, but the bottom line is - it's not their decision. You are a married adult woman and they need to accept your decisions about your life. It's not like you're deciding to quit your jobs/school and go live in the jungle somewhere. When the blessed event of pregnancy takes place and the more blessed event of the birth of their grandchild takes place - I'm sure their tunes will change. Good luck to you and your husband. I wish you all the best. God bless :o)
2007-09-26 17:51:20 · answer #4 · answered by ♪♪BandMom♪♪ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You may be 22 but I completely understand wanting to tell your parents. My husband and I (I'm 26) are trying to figure out how to tell our parents. I think his will be easier than mine. My mom keeps making these comments that she wants grandkids but not right now. When we found out my cousin was pg in June my mom started in again about not wanting gkids yet. I finally had to tell her that my husband and were ready and we were talking about trying soon and that her saying that she wasn't ready wasn't supportive and was hurting my feelings. We just started ttc last month and I am nervous about the time when we tell her she's a grandmother to be:). I think you can't keep putting off trying. I don't know if you'll ever be 100% ready for children so if you are ready now, it's yours and your husband's decision. Best of luck to you and don't let your parents get to you!!
2007-09-27 05:48:06 · answer #5 · answered by rudreamin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We never told anyone we was trying for a baby. Just in case it took years and we didn't really want the extra pressure of people always asking, 'Are you pregnant yet?' No body knew a thing until i was 3 months.
Now people ask me when i am going to try again. LOL!! I am currently 7 weeks pregnant, but only Andrew & I know, oh and my friends on Yahoo!
2007-09-26 17:51:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just come out and tell them. You are old enough, surely mature enough, you're married, and you have a stable home life becasue of that. It's not like you are 16 and you're throwing everything away in your life. It's your decision, either way, and even if they aren't supportive at first, they will get used ot the idea and I am sure they will become very excited to be grandparents!
2007-09-26 17:46:58 · answer #7 · answered by Amanda K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, i wanted to get pregnant at 22 aswell and had wanted to be a mum since i was 18 but the thought of telling my parents and grandparents that i wanted a child was unbearable, i was so scared in telling my mum and my nan that i was trying because my nan said she would never speak to me again and my mum just kept saying i was too young, well there so called advice scared me and i stopped trying. I am now 27 and because i listened to them i am now going through fertility treatments, i just wish i had the guts to say back then that i was going to get pregnant whether they liked it or not, because i may not be going through all the heartache now. My advice is to tell them asap because if you wait and leave it you may be in for a long wait to get your baby.Goodluck!!
2007-09-26 22:12:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have your own family now, and you and your husband are capable of making your own decisions. If you want to have a baby and have the love, time, attention, and financial responsibility to provide for it, then heck girl, more power to you.
To tell your mom (I'd recommend going to mom before dad) honestly. Say "Hey mom, I just wanted you to know that ____ and I are going to try to have a baby now. We feel we are responsible and well prepared enough to raise a child at this time."
If she doesn't agree, oh well. You and your hubby are adults and don't need her permission to live your life.
Good luck :)
2007-09-26 17:50:05 · answer #9 · answered by kiki 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, first off, congratulations. Secondly, I would definitely tell your mom that it is important to you that she be a part of this season in your life and you really need her support. Let her know that you feel like you and your husband are ready to start having children and maybe even ask her questions about her pregnancy with you. That might make her feel like you really want her to be involved.
2007-09-26 17:50:54 · answer #10 · answered by hot_mom2680 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋