What keeps a relationship alive and happy with 4 kids and normal daily strss?

Question

I'd especially love to hear from older women who are truly living it.

Answer 1

Spending time as a family and accepting that this is life.
Enjoy the moments when everyone is asleep and the two of you are alone, but don't accept the lies that you got to live for those times. Sex is great, but it isn't everything. Do it, enjoy it, and get on with life! Train your children well so you can enjoy them. Otherwise they will be demanding and draining. This doesn't have to be the way it is. Don't try to get all the "me" time that so many talk about. It's just a bunch of crap, really. Your attitude and hubby's needs to be that you love your life. Then all the daily stress will seem like small potatoes instead of the big issues. Having four children is a blessing! Enjoy it! Most never do such an exciting thing with their life!

Answer 2

Make sure you have time for the family, make sure you make time for you and spouse alone. Take the time to talk to each other, remember to tell him you appreciate all he does (he will then do it too.), be understanding.
I found that the little things were important. With 4 children (ages 15, 10, 8 and 3), working, house work, bills, everyday things that add stress always looking for the positive no matter how small and pointing them out helps. Write little love notes, special dinners, saying I love you often, holding hands, putting the children to bed together, and once in awhile taking the time away from home just the 2 of you. Even if it is for a walk, a short drive something out of the house.
Always remember communication is important. Try to relax and talk after the children are asleep. You are partners and need to share your daily struggles and daily achievements. Share the good and the bad. When there is lots of stress and arguments may get started remember to let the anger go, holding on to it just makes the stress worse. Working together through everything being there for each other makes a big difference.

Answer 3

I have 5 children aged 19 - 5, hubby and I keep our relationship happy and healthy by laughing with each other not at each other, talking about our week and what goals we need to achieve to get to the next step in our lives. We divide the chores to make sure everything gets done in record time, so we can pack the kids off once a month for 'our time'. We use that time constructively by having a weekend doing things we did pre-children.

Answer 4

I'm living it! I have 4 kids from a previous marriage and a 1 year old with my hubby. We work together as a team and don't let the kids overtake us. We also shower together and retreat to the bedroom and lock the door as often as possible.

Wish I had time to write more but I've gotta go and feed the brood. Good Luck Goddess Momma ;)

Answer 5

Remember to take time for each other. If possible go on a date night. Communication and honesty is the key. And no matter how tired you are from doing all the things with the kids, remember sex and do it often. Men are more ready to help when they are very satisfied in that area.

Answer 6

Date night has really helped us. But that means new and exciting dates. Not dinners or movies. But things you did when you first met. Like ice skating. Or a museum at night with jazz music. Or an observatory at night to look at the moon. Things that make you excited to be together. Not the routine stuff. It's really made us start enjoying each other like we did pre-kid.

Answer 7

i consider myself older and i do have 4 children aged 13-18 @ home. this is what works for us: we take a vacation by ourselves every year; we take a long weekend 2-3 x a year; we open a bottle of wine and lock the bedroom door; we re-create things that we LOVED doing when we dated; relationships constantly evolve.. the trick is to grow and change with it. does this always work or is it easy - nope; but trying sure beats letting it fade away. good luck :)

Answer 8

Treat your spouse as you want to be treated, be kind, caring, giving, selfless, patient, tolerant, understanding, have unconditional love, be slow to anger and quick to forgive. Don't be afraid to find the humor in it all.

Answer 9

What else but "love."