we've have been married for 4 years he was never really a romantic person. well when we first started he used to give me a little affection even in public now we hardly kiss we don't cuddle and he doesn't hold my hand. he touches me only when he wants sex we have sex every single day (except that time of the month). when i asked he said I don't give him affection and if he doesn't get it he is not going to give. I do hug and kiss him every now and then but not the way i would like to sometimes i feel the same way if he doesn't do it why should I. i don't think he is cheating he is a good man and is always home. what do i do?
2007-09-26 16:58:34 · 5 answers · asked by Janice 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
well, this sounds like a marriage that can be saved. Is there any signs that he has been cheating and if so what? Don't accuse him of cheating unless there is good reason to. Starting today compliment him 3 times a day, everyday. Go out to dinner this friday and make him fall back in love with him. For the compliments don't make them too sexual, they should be little ones like " you look soo handsome today" or " i love that shirt on you" I promise you this will make your relationship better.Make sure he knows that you love having sex with him, offer to do all the work, and come onto him. Instead of him tapping you on the shoulder you should be tapping him on the shoulder. i dont think he has lost affection for you, if he had he would want out, he wouldnt hang around to be with a woman that he doesnt like. He loves you, or her wouldnt be married to you.
2007-09-26 17:06:39 · answer #1 · answered by Katieee 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I use to feel the same way ! Mine to isn't very romantic, some men are not romantc. You have to realize to just because some men are romantic it doesn't mean that they truely love you ! So it doesn't mean he don't love you if he's not romantic!! If you love him then you have to except him for the way he is! Some men show love in different ways, Does he ever cook for you? Does he ever help you around the house? Is he there when you really need him ? Can you talk to him about things and does he listen when you talk? Does he buy you gifts for your birthday or anniverary? Think about what all he does do for you instead of what he doesn't do! Sometimes these others things that he does for you is his way of showing you that he loves you. men show love in differnt ways then what women think love should be like!! We were raised with the Fairly tale Love, which is just a fairy tale and not really love !! real love is how someone treats you in other ways everyday not just romance ! Sometimes you just have to give love in order to receive love !! Don't hold back just because you feel he isn't being loving to you. As long as he doesn't reject you then your fine !! when you go to hug him or kiss him does he push you away or does he welcome you back? Maybe you have to make the first move but why does it matter as long as you both enjoy being together? you just have to rethink how things are with you two. If you feel like you need a hug then you should hug him!! as long as he hugs you back there is no problem right !! One day he will make a first move , but you can't let this feeling you have stop you from making your move toward him ! Cause if you don't and then he don't where will that get you ? No Where!! So it doesn't matter who hugs or kisses who first, it only matters that you do it !! I also think men see sex as a way of showing their love too. If he takes the time to rub you and hold you during that time and if he cares about pleaseing you first then that means he loves you too ! If he's not all about only pleaseing himself like some men, they only care about there self and its like a wham bam thank you mam and thats not love !! It's really how he treats you everyday and if he's good to you and a good man !!
2007-09-27 00:30:25 · answer #2 · answered by monkeymomma46 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would seek couples counseling. It sounds like there are more issues there than just not being a "romantic" person. Some people don't realize it is a basic need of all beings to be touched..besides can he really be that petty and use the tit for tat excuse? Maybe he doesn't realize how rediculous and immature he is being. Let him know just like he needs sex from you, you need caring gestures from him. It is a NEED of yours just like sexual release is a need for him.
Although, some people show their affection through sex..maybe he thinks if he has sex with your everyday it is like showing you other types of physical affection.
2007-09-27 00:06:13 · answer #3 · answered by greyskymourning82 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Someone needs to make the change and if you feel that strongly about your marriage I think it should be you. You can show your love in other ways than just touch. Leave love notes in his briefcase or somewhere he will find it. Cook one of his favorite meals and have a candlelight dinner. Make him feel like he his your hero and you cannot live w/o him. If you give him respect and honor he will treat you like a princess.
2007-09-27 00:08:01 · answer #4 · answered by bo bunnis 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey just be glad you are having sex. What would you rather have affection or sex? Sex is better so keep it! Work on the affection keep the good sex life goin!
2007-09-30 13:27:20 · answer #5 · answered by Saude! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋