I am trying to keep good relations with my daughter's father. He see's her once every 6 months or less. And she's only 3. Anyways... I've tried to ask nicely..for help..any help... $20, 30, 50....every so often something.... but he never does. I have been really nice ...but how long do I let this go on. I could really use the help. But I don't want to make him mad and just not have anything to do with us, or rather her. She deserves to have a dad... and I have never kept him from her. So tell me guys... do you get mad when they ask for child support? What do you suggest?
2007-09-26 16:56:24 · 20 answers · asked by ol me 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Honey, child support isn't about you and it isn't about the dad. It's about the CHILD. See, this man owes your daughter money. Not you. Not the man in the moon. The child. You are denying your child and teaching her that her needs really don't matter, and that men aren't responsible for meeting any of her needs, and if they want to come along and use her and then dump her and leave her with nothing, it's okay!
It's not okay. If you love your child, you will allow the court to set the amount so that she can have her needs met and realize that MOM thought she was important enough to fight for. You aren't teaching her "good relations". You're teaching her to be a doormat because you let her dad run all over both of you. Do the right thing.
2007-09-26 17:02:36 · answer #1 · answered by Sassie 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My parents got a divorce when I was very young. My mother took my father to court to have him pay child support and he did it willingly. He saw me several times each week and had me every other weekend. He lived an hour away from me and still made this effort. Trust me on this. If the father of your child loved that little girl, he would be making more of an effort to spend time on her and make sure she is well taken care of. It is your responsibility as a mother to not allow him to be a dead beat father. You need to go to court and have him pay child support. If he only sees her once every 6 months, he is no father to her anyways. Atleast ensure your daughters financial needs are taken care of by going to court and having him pay child support. I get that you love your daughter very much and you want her father in her life. Obviously though, you cannot make those decisions for him, because he barely sees her now anyways. That is no father. Take the man to court and atleast get the child support so you can make a better life for your daughter.
2007-09-26 17:05:49 · answer #2 · answered by Nikki in PA 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your daughter deserves the financial support of her father. And if he's only seeing her once every 6 months then she isn't really going to be missing out on anything if he does "get mad" and decide not to see her. Get a lawyer and get what your daughter deserves.
2007-09-26 17:42:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you worried about making him mad? This is your daughter you're talking about and you're worried about her dead beat father?
Do to the department of social services in your county, some states such as Pennsylvania have something called Domestic Relations. They will petition the court on your behalf.
Think about it. Why in the world SHOULDN'T he pay child support? Whether he likes it or not, he's her father and has responsibilities just like everyone else.
Your concern about making him mad is just strange! He needs to be a man and step up to the plate to support his daughter.
OH...and I'm a 42 year old married man. If I had a child out there somewhere, you can damn well bet I'd be active in their life and doing my best to ensure this child had everything possible.
Get on the phone tomorrow and find out who collects child support. If he gets mad, tell him too stinking bad.
2007-09-26 17:05:47 · answer #4 · answered by wentfishing2 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Even if he would get mad if you ask for child support, you owe it to your child to do so. He helped bring her into the world, and he owes it to her to help support her. And as long as the money goes towards making her life better, how can he really object to pay? And if she is only seeing him once in six months, then she' not going to miss out on much if he decides not to show in the future (unless he's in the armed forces or something that keeps him away for long periods of time).
2007-09-26 17:04:30 · answer #5 · answered by Barb Outhere 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry about making him mad. File to get child support for her. She does deserve to have a dad but what kind of dad is he. Does not sound like a good one. Is a bad dad better than no dad? I would not think so. Think about your daughter and her needs. Get the ball rolling.
2007-09-27 02:37:59 · answer #6 · answered by kim h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who really gives a rats *ss if a man gets mad when asked or even ordered to pay child support? They fathered a child and should be a responsible parent and make sure their needs are met. If you are financially struggling to make ends meet with your daughter...take his butt to court and get some financial support from him....She deserves a dad who looks out for her welfare!
2007-09-26 17:02:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
whether he gets mad or not he should be helping with your daughter money wise. no exceptions on this. if you have asked before and he shows no response then yes, i would go for child support. if not for you then for your daughter. the cost of raising a child as a single parent is very hard. i have been there. yes, my ex got upset and thought it should be put into a savings for our daughter till college. the judge laughed at him for this. the judge was right, i needed help keeping food in her moutth, clothes on her back and all the essentials now. not later.
i would get child support and someday if not now, he will understand.
2007-09-26 17:01:59 · answer #8 · answered by Southern Belle 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Listen I/ve been there so please don't take this to harshly. But to bad if he gets mad he'll get over it/ And he]ll be more of a man for it not to mention a better dad. That baby is all that matters. Down the line the rest will fall in place. Your daughter will see to that mine did. Get child support for that child it will be all right.
2007-09-26 17:04:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Plz don't take this personally,But GROW UP.Child support is the child's right by law .Who cares if he gets angry.You are making the mistake some women do.If you struggle all your life to care for this child,around the age of 15 she is going to start to act up and defy you,when you start to put your foot down she will start to look for the other parent who was never there.To minimize the heartache let him do his part now.
2007-09-26 17:10:13 · answer #10 · answered by miraclehand2020 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋