My husband and I are a very happy couple. We have no trust issues, He and I have friends from the opposite sex. We love each other very much. We have a mutual friend that is Bisexual. We were talking and we both had at one point in time wondered what it would be like to have a threesome. I have never been with anyone, except for my husband. I have been very curious as to what it would be like to be with a woman. I am just wondering what others think on this subject.. The threesome would be me, my hubby, and another woman. Please let me know your imput on this. Thank you so much.
2007-09-26 16:31:47 · 39 answers · asked by Bubblebunzz 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why do you care about our opinions? You have your own marriage to worry about. If your man and yourself are curious and comfortable in expanding your horizons, then go for it. If your marriage is strong enough to survive it, do it. Why would you need anyone's permission for it?
Edit: I know what I am talking about, because me and my husband have done that and enjoyed the heck out of it. Some marriages are THAT strong, people. I understand where you are coming from and I respect your choices, now try to do the same for me.
2007-09-26 17:06:00 · answer #1 · answered by ms.sophisticate 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
All of the threesomes I've been involved with have been for my female partner (i.e. the only time there's been another woman, my partner was still the focus), so I can understand the logic gaging his commitment by seeing if he's just as willing when the OP is to be the focus. The biggest thing I've been struck with is the extreme reactions I see. Are monogamous marriages so fragile that the mere _suggestion_ of a threesome is likely to lead to divorce? If a marriage is strong and has good communication, having a threesome, a foursome, or more won't destroy it. If it turns out it's not the best for the couple, they should be able to move on with the new knowledge and understanding. If a threesome destroys a marriage, I feel it is a sign that it had some fundamental flaws from the beginning. Non-monogamy (even consensual non-monogamy) has a way of exposing the cracks in any relationship--what the couple does once they see those cracks is up to them. Based upon what the OP has said, it does seem that the husband is pushing a bit too much. All the more reason that their first threesome should be for HER benefit!
2016-05-19 21:31:07 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have had this discussion with my husband a few times. I know that I am a bisexual and he knows that I chose him to be with for the rest of my life. I believe if we discuss something and both feel comfortable doing it, we set down ground rules (and stick to them) and we continue to communicate during and afterwards, that we are now breaking our vows. He knows that I will never be the one to instigate a threesome and the decision is totally his even though it would be interesting experience.
Our discussions have ended with the conclusion that we aren't ready. There are still underlying feelings that he would feel like he couldn't give me everything I need after seeing me with another woman. Even though he is the most giving sex partner I have ever had in my life and ensure him that he has given me more in the sex department than any woman I have been with, he is not ready to see that side of me. And that's fine. Would I love to have sex with a hot girl? do I fantasize about it? most definitely but its not something I would do if it threatened the integrity of my marriage. I made the vows, I love and commit myself to him everyday and I will not harm that.
If in the future, we decide that we are willing and capable of doing this, we know that we will be openly discussing who we would interact with (a friend we trust, or someone we don't know yet that we get to know for this purpose...I think we would choose the latter). We would also set ground rules. This play does not mean we can see other people. If someone feels uncomfortable, even if its in the middle of the act, it will come to a screeching halt and dealt with. If someone feels the little green man coming into the picture, again, we will stop. We know that it will be with another girl, as neither one of us want another guy in the picture.
I think that if you can communicate about it freely without feeling awkward and make everyone happy in every step of the decision making. You may be able to pull it off. I have seen it work. But I have seen it rip apart a marriage too. So be careful, talk talk talk and talk some more before deciding and good luck
2007-09-26 16:53:14 · answer #3 · answered by Nesting 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you have to really think hard about this issue. You would all be willing and knowledgeable about this, so there is obviously no issue of infidelity. The thing that would be most hesitant about is the fact that you want to do this with a friend, someone who will continue to be in your life after this "experiment". How might that affect your friendship? Would it be awkward around her after wards? Would that open doors to an unexpected relationship? I would just really think about that issue. If you and your husband are both interested in trying this, then maybe save up and take a trip to the Bunny Ranch or something. That way you get the experience, but don't jeopardize a friendship. Make sense? Good luck!
2007-09-26 16:40:34 · answer #4 · answered by ladybug 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not going to judege you on this issue, but it is a bad idea having a threesome with a friend you and your husband have to be around after you do the deed. Think about it if you have a bad time, but your husband has a good time what do you supose might happen....? She will still be in your lives and you will have to be reminded every day of your horrible experience...also alot of times during these little incounters people confuse lust for love and then BAM! Your husband leaves you for the other woman...or you leave your husband for her....Just to keep things simple hire an escort instead.
2007-09-27 01:55:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would agree with most of the others a threesome is not a good idea if you want to stay married. No trust issues now would probably change because one would enjoy it better than the other and then would be blamed for the rest of the time. NO NO NO a thousand times NO.
2007-09-26 16:45:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
not a good idea, as you say trust is not an issue, and that is good, but in years to come, who is to say that some bad feelings could arise out of one encounter? plus, if you two have an argument, you know the other female will never be a friend of your ever again, plus you dont say how long you two have been married, and young relationships are very tender and a fine line is there, and you do not want to cross it, because there will never be any way to change things, maybe instead of actually having a threesome, you could rent or buy movies of threesomes and enjoy it just between the two of you.
2007-09-26 16:39:29 · answer #7 · answered by oh really 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I know that you are young and luckily for you, you both share a creative way of looking at things. You enjoy new experiences. And that's a good thing. What's a bad thing is when a 3rd person starts coming along for the ride with you two all the time. This is gonna create havoc in your life. You will always wonder if he liked her better than you, if you are gay and on and on. It's simple. Go together and buy that movie and whatever else sparks your creativity. But leave others out of it unless you want to throw away a good thing for something trashy.
2007-09-26 17:04:40 · answer #8 · answered by Chiksita 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't have a threesome with a friend.
If you have a threesome...of any variety...meet someone you like through an on-line service (i.e. adultfriendfinder .com) and meet with the expectation that you'll have fun together, but no other relationship will come from it.
Playing with someone you're already friends with is disaster waiting to happen. But by all means give it a try and if it doesn't float your boats (both of your boats, together) then don't do it again. If you both enjoy to the same general degree, then enjoy!
2007-09-26 18:04:27 · answer #9 · answered by Greenman 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds brave and fun but whats happens when for ever after a part of you will wonder is it is you he is making love too or during your 'session' you see your husband excitement excell beyond what you have ever seen and resent that or see him undertake a movement never before fantasied would you or could you shut the door to doubts from that point on. My advice your happy in your marriage explore as a couple together in other ways, videos, strip bars etc can be erotic for couples as couples and not impact on their relationships in a negative manner if jointly undertaken with clear cut off marks. Good luck
2007-09-26 17:10:54 · answer #10 · answered by NZ Kuia 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm just going to be blunt about this. No.
I don't think either person really needs or wants to see their spouse have sex with someone else. Especially if one pulls out a "special move" that is regarded as something sacred to them.
My fiance and I had a threesome that went from a one time thing to something that happened frequently with the same person. Not saying that is what will happen in your case, but it can lead to trust issues.
If it's good, don't rock the boat. It's not worth it.
2007-09-26 16:53:28 · answer #11 · answered by Wicked 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋